Ianto saw the look that Sulu sent him, registering both it and the nudge as a, well, a nudge to get on with it. He knew that he wasn't helping anything by stalling like he was, but. He hadn't been kidding when he'd told Sulu that he really didn't want to do this, that he wasn't ready. That he had absolutely no idea how to break the news to Jack, and certainly not in any good way.
"Nothing's... Nothing's 'going on'. Well. Nothing that hasn't been for a while now. I mean. Nothing new. Well. No. Alright, there are some new things, but--"
"Ianto," Jack said, cutting him off of his rambling, "what's going on?"
"I'm sick, Jack," Ianto blurted out, wincing. "I know that you know that, but. I haven't been exactly all that honest with you. About my recovery. And. Well. And about how it's going. Because I didn't want to make you angry, but. I... I can't walk anymore without passing out, so. I mean, it's not like I really have that much of a choice, anymore. I have to--"
"You what?" Jack asked, cutting him off again.
"I've..." Ianto swallowed. "I've... I've been passing out. Every time I try to walk. I mean. I've been dizzy, before. But it's never been as bad as this. I didn't... I had hoped that it was all in my head. That I was just taking a really long time to get better, that that's why it seemed like I was getting worse, but then today..."
Jack's eyes widened, his hands gripping the table, knuckles white as he shook his head, looking at Ianto in disbelief. He felt a chasm opening up in his chest, and his heart slowly sinking down into it with each word that Ianto said, listening to him stumbling through his explanation, his stomach starting to fill with lead. "...you. You've been lying about this? The whole time?" he asked, his voice soft, incredulous.
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"Nothing's... Nothing's 'going on'. Well. Nothing that hasn't been for a while now. I mean. Nothing new. Well. No. Alright, there are some new things, but--"
"Ianto," Jack said, cutting him off of his rambling, "what's going on?"
"I'm sick, Jack," Ianto blurted out, wincing. "I know that you know that, but. I haven't been exactly all that honest with you. About my recovery. And. Well. And about how it's going. Because I didn't want to make you angry, but. I... I can't walk anymore without passing out, so. I mean, it's not like I really have that much of a choice, anymore. I have to--"
"You what?" Jack asked, cutting him off again.
"I've..." Ianto swallowed. "I've... I've been passing out. Every time I try to walk. I mean. I've been dizzy, before. But it's never been as bad as this. I didn't... I had hoped that it was all in my head. That I was just taking a really long time to get better, that that's why it seemed like I was getting worse, but then today..."
Jack's eyes widened, his hands gripping the table, knuckles white as he shook his head, looking at Ianto in disbelief. He felt a chasm opening up in his chest, and his heart slowly sinking down into it with each word that Ianto said, listening to him stumbling through his explanation, his stomach starting to fill with lead. "...you. You've been lying about this? The whole time?" he asked, his voice soft, incredulous.