Ianto Jones (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
torchwoodteaboy) wrote2010-11-25 01:58 pm
torchwoodteaboy) wrote2010-11-25 01:58 pm
[RL WITH SULU]
Ianto lay in his bed upstairs, a book laying face down on his chest. He had been trying to read for the better part of an hour, but had found himself drifting more often than not, and on the third read-through of the same page he'd given up and just put it down. And he'd been drifting since then as well, not really awake enough to be doing anything other than just lying there, not really tired enough to really go to sleep. More and more each day, while no one else was around, he found himself in this sort of a state, a sort of standby mode that was disturbing in the fact that it didn't really bother him. That nothing really bothered him anymore, because he really couldn't dredge up enough energy to be bothered about it.
He brought a hand up to his face, running it across his eyes. He...he couldn't keep lying to himself like this. At first he thought it had simply been his imagination, that things were just progressing slowly, that was all. For all that he had worried that things wouldn't get better, he had hoped that they would, Sulu continuously helping him be optimistic in that fact, and so the fact that he was going backwards, now, getting worse, it... It was crushing. And he had no idea what he was going to do about it. No idea. The even worse fact of the matter was that he was slowly convincing himself that there was nothing to do about it. That he'd never get better. That it was too late, and he couldn't do anything about it now even if he tried. Which was the mindset he kept spiraling down and dragging himself out of as it approached that time when Sulu would be making his appearance for the night.
He brought a hand up to his face, running it across his eyes. He...he couldn't keep lying to himself like this. At first he thought it had simply been his imagination, that things were just progressing slowly, that was all. For all that he had worried that things wouldn't get better, he had hoped that they would, Sulu continuously helping him be optimistic in that fact, and so the fact that he was going backwards, now, getting worse, it... It was crushing. And he had no idea what he was going to do about it. No idea. The even worse fact of the matter was that he was slowly convincing himself that there was nothing to do about it. That he'd never get better. That it was too late, and he couldn't do anything about it now even if he tried. Which was the mindset he kept spiraling down and dragging himself out of as it approached that time when Sulu would be making his appearance for the night.
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Really, though, he wasn't surprised that Jack had any issues with him in the beginning. He'd made an ass of himself - somehow, he really didn't know how, yet - and he hadn't expected Jack to really like him after that. But the other man had pretty much met all of Sulu's expectations; he knew captains, after all. He knew Jack's type. The fact that he had seen him when he was at his lowest hadn't changed the fact that Jack was a strong (maybe headstrong), decent man. And Ianto loved him, which was all he needed to know about his character.
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He turned his head to Sulu's direction, not looking at him because Ianto was sort of in the way for that, but pointing his voice in his direction nonetheless. "And from the way I understand it, from the way that Jim makes it sound, you're one hell of a pilot, so. Guess it's just an occupational hazard that we're going to have to live with..." he said, his tone light and warm, so that Sulu wouldn't have to be looking in order to tell that he was smiling.
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Closing his eyes and shifting a bit to move closer to Ianto's side, Sulu made an affirming noise to Jack's comment. "Guess you will," he said, knowing full well that Jack's little quip was probably meant to make him feel more wanted and accepted by the both of them. He'd take it at that value, at least - after all, he really did need whatever he could find to lift his spirits. Even if it was just from throwaway comments and the tones of voice.