torchwoodteaboy | [RL WITH SULU]

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[RL WITH SULU]

It was dark. A fact which, recently, had become a lot more of an issue than it normally had been for him before, but Ianto wasn't thinking in terms of then and now. Because something was coming for him out of the darkness, but this time he knew exactly what it was, and exactly what would happen to him when they found him. The same thing that happened to Jim, and Sue, and countless others, others that Ianto had barely taken the effort to learn the names of, but watched in horror as they marched them off in a line to those rooms. Those rooms with the plastic hanging from the ceiling, the rooms that, without any walls to block out the sound, made it that much easier to hear the sounds of his coworkers screaming, the sounds of the machines and thank god he couldn't hear the noises of what they were doing over the screaming, or he might just go mad.

He sat, barricaded in the deepest, darkest parts of the archives, the sounds of the machines and those units echoing across the space, because they'd moved and started to set it up in there, now, and Ianto couldn't do a damned thing except hide and hope against all things that they would make enough units to call it quits. That they would finally, finally leave and that he could move, breathe, get away from this place that for the better part of the day he was so sure was going to be his tomb. He had to get out. Had to find Lisa. Had to get them the hell out of there before god knows what else happened next. He cracked the door open just a hair, to try and check if the coast was clear, just in time for one of them to turn down the hallway, searching, looking his direction. Ianto thought his heart might rip out of his chest, it was beating so fast.

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Ianto couldn't help but move his hand to the side of Sulu's jaw, tilting the other man's head down while leaning up himself to place a soft, chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth, before releasing that, and going back to the way they'd been sitting moments prior. "You won't," he said, firmly. "You won't lose me like that again. Not if you or Jack or Gwen or I have anything to say about the matter."

Ianto knew that he wasn't going to find the right set of words to automatically take that look out of Sulu's eyes, but he would do what he could to at least make it better. He would do what he could to help Sulu fight it off. He relaxed against Sulu's chest, held firm against the other man, warm and safe and...loved in his arms. All of the ghosts haunting his dreams were melting away, and for that moment, there was just the pair of them in Sulu's cabin, clinging to and supporting and...yeah, alright, loving each other.

"I..." Ianto said, speaking up after a moment. "I can't promise that things will get better right away, or that they'll always be better, once they do, but. It's like you said. I care way too much about you to ever make you go through anything like that again, yeah?"

Life was too chaotic for either of them to promise that they'd get some kind of happily ever after from this, and Sulu knew that. But it didn't matter, because at least for right now, they both agreed that things would be better than they were now. And even if he felt like he hadn't done enough to explain himself to Ianto, it felt better to have told him.

"I know you can't promise that," Sulu said softly, smiling and looking at Ianto with a much less troubled look on his face, "But all the same. This is going to work out. It has to. And I don't care if there are bumps." He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. "Honestly, I can deal with any of our problems so long as you're willing to help me like this." He opened his eyes after a moment and said with complete sincerity, "Thank you, Ianto."

"And I will," Ianto affirmed. "Be willing to help you like this. Always. God knows, you're going to have to talk me out of enough moods in the future. I'm happy that I can even help at all, right here and now, really. And so...you're welcome. Any time. I know that you'll always lend an ear to listen and talk when you can, and you should know that I'll do the same. That..."

He moved his hand down, to rest on Sulu's chest again, tilting his head sideways to rest on Sulu's shoulder, tucking it into the crook of his neck. "That even if you think it's stupid or too small to bother with, it doesn't matter. Just tell me, and I'll be happy to hear you out on it. To talk to you and help in any way I can. It's the least I can do, after all." He paused a moment, before speaking up again, softly. "So...thank you. For trusting me with that. I know...well. That it's probably not so easy to talk about. But. I'm glad to know that it helped. Very glad."

Resting his chin on top of Ianto's head, Sulu made an affirming noise. "There's no one better to trust than you, Ianto." It wasn't as though Sulu divulged his feelings to anyone who asked; he was used to keeping them internalized for so many various reasons that it would be impossible to unpack them all.

In fact, him being able to tell Ianto even that much only brought the fact that he trusted Ianto, possibly too much, into even sharper relief. He wondered about it again, but pushed it aside; these kinds of things were better accepted and allowed, after all. He didn't need to think too hard on it; he didn't need to think that there was something more to it. He knew why he trusted Ianto, why he wanted to help him, why he was willing to bargain with Eris to get him back. He just needed to get around to saying it aloud.

"I've meant everything I've said to you," Sulu said after a little quiet moment, "I really have. I want you to know that."

Ianto smiled gently, nodding slightly and brushing his fingers gently across the fabric of Sulu's shirt, rubbing gently against his chest underneath it as well. Because he did. He did know. Just because Sulu hadn't said it, that didn't mean that Ianto didn't know. It didn't mean he'd mind to hear it, of course, but. He was used to reading the signs more than hearing the actual words. It was the same with Jack, who had never said the words either, even after all this time. But that was alright, though. Just because he hadn't heard it, that didn't mean that he didn't know

Granted, Ianto himself hadn't really said it that many times, either. Just the once, in that room, dying in Jack's arms in front of that tank of poison air that housed the 456, he'd said it. He'd felt it long before that, but he said it then because he couldn't not. He couldn't die and leave the pair of them not knowing, in case he hadn't made it clear...

"I know," Ianto said softly, after his own moment of silence. "And I'm glad of it. I mean everything I say to you, after all. It's only fair trade."

Laughing a little, Sulu nodded and shifted, leaning away so that he could tilt Ianto's chin up slightly with one hand before leaning back in for a soft kiss. "Good," he said, "I'm glad we've got a fair and balanced relationship." He promised himself that he wouldn't let this happen again; even if he thought it was silly, he would tell Ianto what was going on with him. After all, the other man had been doing that for him - it was only fair, like he'd said.

"Are you feeling better, now? I didn't mean to bring you down if I did. I want you to be able to get a real, good night's sleep if you can, though. After not being able to rest for the last few weeks, it'd be good for you. But I don't want to make you sleep if you don't think you can."

Ianto shook his head, smiling softly at the other man. "You didn't bring me down. It needed to be said, and I'm glad that I was here to listen, to help." Then he nodded. "Yeah, I'm... I'm feeling better. And...tired, as well," he said, chuckling a little as he laid his head back down on Sulu's chest for a moment. "I could stand to lie back down and try to go to sleep."

He paused for a moment, though, before speaking up again. "...d'you mind if we leave the lights up a bit more than they were?" he asked, softly, a little embarrassed to be asking that, but asking nonetheless. "They... I mean, obviously, lower than they are now, but. It. It might help me sleep a little better for the rest of the night." Well, that, and sleeping a bit more curled up with Sulu than he had been before, but he wasn't about to state that out loud. He figured the other man wouldn't mind him sticking close like that, especially not when the bed that they were sharing wasn't all that big anyway.

Sulu nodded. "Yeah, of course. I don't mind - I can sleep through pretty much anything, if I let myself. A little brighter light won't hurt." He called out for the lights to dim, letting them go down a little bit from what they were already at. Then, he shifted and pulled Ianto with him as he moved to lay down again, keeping his arms around Ianto's waist as he did so. After all, it would be easier for both of them to get to sleep if they were lying down - better than leaning against the wall, that was for sure.

"Hopefully this is all right?" he asked as he shifted against Ianto, keeping his arms around him. As much as he might toss and turn later, Sulu really wanted to keep his hands on Ianto for as long as possible right then.

Ianto flushed a little, but was appreciative that the other man didn't even question it, instead just doing as he asked, dimming the lights and then moving to lie down with him. Ianto shifted backwards a little, pressing against Sulu a bit closer than he had been before, putting a hand on one of Sulu's arms around his waist in the process. "...yeah, this is great," he said, softly. He found that he normally liked to lie on his side, curled against Sulu's side, his head on Sulu's shoulder, but. In a moment like this, being curled up with the other man a constant, comforting presence at his back, it was just what he needed really.

And he found himself getting tired almost immediately, although in a good way. In a 'was woken up from sleep by a dream, needs to go back to sleep now' way, more than the eerie 'bone-tired for no reason at all' that he'd been experiencing in the past. Still, though... "...so. We'll talk to McCoy in the morning, then, yeah?" he asked, using the pronoun 'we' so that he would hopefully not have to outright ask the other man to be there with him when he did that. He trusted the doctor, he did, he just. Support was nice, when he could have it, and all.

Sulu nodded against Ianto's shoulder, resting his forehead there after a moment. "Yeah. I'll get him on the comm and see if he's available, and if he is, we can head over to the medbay first thing in the morning." And if he couldn't fit them in, which was pretty unlikely, Sulu would make sure there was a time for both of them when they could go. Because he wasn't going to leave Ianto alone with this, not now.

He moved his hand to grasp Ianto's, holding onto it gently as he smiled into the other man's shoulder. "But until then, just remember that I'm right here. If you want me to, I'll wake you up if you start having another nightmare that bad, okay?"

Ianto moved to place his other hand on top of Sulu's, trapping it between his own two hands, nodding slightly. "Yeah, I... I'll remember that, don't worry. But...if you could," he said, trailing off, not entirely comfortable with the idea that he might have another nightmare of the same caliber as the last one before he'd had a chance to talk to McCoy, but. "If you could, I... I'd appreciate that. I mean, I'm sorry for if I wake you up again, but. If it's bad enough to wake you up, maybe..." He tightened his hand on Sulu's for a second, sighing and relaxing back into the other man. "Maybe you should wake me up too. Just in case, and all."

"...I'll try not to hit you again, in the process, either," he said, softly, after a moment's pause. He really was feeling a little guilty about that, even though he was well aware that it wasn't either of their fault that it'd happened, that it'd purely been an accident, nothing more. "Although. You might want to be on guard for it, if it turns out that you do have to wake me up from one again, yeah?"

Sulu couldn't see anything wrong with needing to wake Ianto up again, and so he nodded a bit against his shoulder, making an affirming noise. "No problem. Don't worry about it - I'll be ready for it next time. If there is a next time," he clarified with an embarrassed laugh. He didn't think there would be; hopefully, the proximity to Sulu would keep Ianto's nightmares away - or, at the very least, keep them from being too much to handle.

He didn't necessarily believe it, but it was a good hope to have, he thought. "I'll make sure to wake you up if you wake me up. But I'm hoping I'll be able to do something to chase them away, like this." He squeezed the hand under his, gently. "Try to get some sleep, and we'll get this sorted out in the morning, okay?" He paused, then added, "Is there anything you need me to do to help you get to sleep?"

"Nothing that you're not already doing," Ianto said, softly. The fact that Sulu was there with him, that he'd helped calm him down, helped him talk about it, and was now going to curl up behind him, his arms around him and...yes, alright, even holding his hand, all of that would work together to hopefully reassure Ianto's subconscious mind that, even while he was sleeping, nothing bad would happen, and would keep the nightmares at bay.

"If I get another one tonight," Ianto said, "it'd have nothing to do with anything that you're not doing, and more to do with just... I don't know, an imbalance of chemicals, or something? Whatever the scientific explanation of a nightmare would be. That's McCoy's area, not mine. But no." He laced his fingers in Sulu's, relaxing against the other man and finding it not very hard at all to start to feel himself drifting off.

"I... I'll be fine. I mean, even if I have another one, it's only a nightmare, yeah? So long as you're here with me to deal with that, then it doesn't matter in the end. That having been said..." He brushed his fingers across the back of Sulu's. "You get some sleep too, alright? I'll probably sleep better if I'm feeding off of your good energy, after all." As hokey as it sounded, it was true. He'd sleep a lot better knowing that Sulu was too.

Laughing a little, Sulu made a noise of affirmation and pressed closer to Ianto. "Don't worry, I'm tired enough to pass out here. I'll give you nothing but good vibes." Unfortunately, his hand wasn't free to reach for Ianto's hair, so he'd have to leave that out for now and hope that Ianto really was tired enough to sleep. He sounded better, less haunted by his nightmare - and that was good.

Sulu also found himself feeling a bit better after having told Ianto how he'd been feeling lately, which was going to make it a lot easier getting to sleep. He could only hope that they'd both be able to stay asleep, and that Ianto wouldn't have another terrible nightmare.

Ianto smiled. "Good," he said, softly. And maybe they'd both sleep soundly until it was time for them to get up and fix this. Because they would. They would fix it, and everything would have to be better eventually, because it couldn't not be. Because he believed Sulu when he said that they'd been through too much for there not to be a light at the end of the tunnel, when everything would be nice and just the way they needed, for a little while at least.

He found himself drifting within moments, more relaxed than he'd been in a while, certainly since the nightmares had started. He chuckled, quietly. "...can feel your good vibes already," he said, half asleep but still capable of being cheeky even still.

Sulu could tell that Ianto was drifting with the way his voice sounded, sleepy and relaxed, considering the circumstances. He hummed a little, pleased at the fact that Ianto was feeling well enough to make his little comments - and really, it was nice that he was feeling that well in general, not just tonight. He'd been better, able to sleep less and stay awake more, like he used to. And if everything went well...

"I'm nothing but good vibes," Sulu murmured, imagining that somewhere along the line, Ianto was going to catch a break, and relishing in the thought. Somewhere along the line, all of them were going to catch a break, and it would be wonderful. Until then, though, he knew he and Ianto would just have to settle for curling up together against the nightmares and wait.

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[RL WITH SULU]

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