torchwoodteaboy | [RL WITH AKIHIKO AND JACK]

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[RL WITH AKIHIKO AND JACK]

Ianto had had enough of the Hub for one night. Being cooped down in the archives working on a filing system that never seemed to go anywhere fast for the past few days had left him feeling a bit antsy, and he'd really just needed to get out and breathe fresh air for a while. Which was why when as soon as he finished the section he had been working on for the majority of that day, he had interrupted Akihiko's own work to ask him out for a coffee. Jack was nowhere to be found, but Ianto left him a note, and he felt that was as good a notice as he could give him. The Captain was probably down in one of the many training rooms or something, which meant that he'd rather not be disturbed anyway.

Which was the reason Ianto stood at the counter at a cafe a few blocks off the Plass, having left Akihiko to keep watch of their table. All that had been left was one of those little round ones with two arm chairs on either side that cafes seemed to be sporting more and more often for the people who would rather do their work at the cafe than go home and do it. Ianto had to admit that the chairs did look comfortable, but he couldn't help but feel a bit of a fool at the idea of sitting in one of the tattered old armchairs in a suit that obviously cost at least twice what the chair originally had.

"Jones, Ianto?" the woman at the counter called out, pulling him out of his train of thought, and he quickly stepped up and accepted the paper cups from her with a murmur of thanks. He headed back to Akihiko, placing the younger man's drink on the table in front of him and folding himself into his chair. "Can't guarantee it'll be the best you've had, but it's probably the best that we can buy around here so late in the evening," he said to Akihiko, cradling his own cup in his hands to warm them. "Sorry I sprung this on you so suddenly, I just needed..." He trailed off, shrugging and looking around. Truthfully, he needed something simple and normal, after a day of wading through the files of a particularly dark era of Torchwood history.

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Akihiko was reddening. "Well, I think you need to sober up and not be quite this loose," he agreed angrily. "We were worried about you. And you don't even care! And now you're just drunk out of your skull. What did you do this for? And that John guy gave you the alcohol!"

"He left it on the lift!" Jack protested. "I didn't meet with him or anything like that! Both of you are pretty hot when you're angry, but come on!"

Ianto felt a headache coming on. "You...prat!" he said, annoyed. He reached out a hand and cuffed Jack none too gently on the back of the head. He was about as surprised with himself as Jack was at that action.

"You could have at least told one of us about this, this asinine plan of yours! Like we said, we were worried! I...I climbed all the way up to the top of the Millennium Centre looking for you, and you know how much I hate it there! And John, Jack? John!? Have you forgotten what he did?"

"How the hell could I ever forget?" Jack asked bitterly, swaying a bit. The happy was wearing off a bit, but the alcohol was not. "Look, I'm sorry. But alcohol! You're Welsh, Ianto, and you're young, Akihiko, you both should understand. It's been centuries. Longer! I just wanted..." he trailed off, having the presence of mind at least to look ashamed.

Akihiko's brow furrowed at the accusation that he would understand because he was young. He had done his share of drinking, sure, and maybe some of the people Shinji hung around with liked to drink this much. But it wasn't really his scene.

"It would have been good to tell us," he said, more quietly. "Maybe we could have helped. I mean...if it's important to you, then it's something we want to help you with."

They reached the top of the steps and Akihiko pushed the door open, helping Jack into his office and towards the cot in the corner.

"My office?" Jack looked around with wonder at the fact that they had magically ended up where they were. He turned back to Akihiko. "Why would I want help? S'not like I wanted you guys to know what I was doing. You weren't supposed to find me like this. I thought you'd both gone for the day."

As far as Ianto was concerned, Jack was just digging the hole deeper for himself. "Why the hell would you think we'd be gone? It's the middle of the bloody afternoon!"

"It is?" Jack asked, not really registering the anger in Ianto's voice, only confused that he'd lost track of the time of day.

"And why wouldn't you want us to know what's going on?" Akihiko demanded, angry again. "Why would you want to drink all alone and get yourself completely scuppered, when we're right here for you?"

He pushed Jack down onto the cot and clenched a fist. "What the hell, Jack? Aren't we your friends?"

Ianto and Gwen might be used to Jack's ways by now, but to Akihiko...well, it just wasn't the kind of friendship he was used to. There was nothing he wouldn't share with his friends, the friends he'd been through hell with, and Jack and Ianto were on that list by now, after all they'd been through together with Torchwood.

Jack let out a little oof at the roughness of being shoved onto the cot, but thought better of making a joke about being manhandled. "Of course you are," Jack answered, without hesitation, sounding insulted at the question. "I was ashamed, okay? I didn't think, I just needed--!" He lowered his head and his voice. "I needed to forget for a while. And there was John and the hypervodka, and it was an opportunity I couldn't pass up."

There was a reason the Welsh called alcohol a truth serum. Once he started, Jack kept going. "S'not like it worked, anyway," Jack spat, his mood taking a sudden dark turn. "Took a whole bottle to just get this far. And now the two of you've found me, and I could just die, but I can't. Can't even get drunk properly. He won't forgive me. I'm just wrong, a failure."

Ianto startled at that comment. "Who? Who won't forgive you?" Jack shook his head. "You have to talk to us, Jack. Not talking is how we got into this situation." Jack bit his lip and shook his head again, childishly refusing to look up at either of them. Ianto sent a begging look at Akihiko--they needed to get to the bottom of this. Something more than the obvious was going on.

Akihiko's jaw had dropped, too. He had no idea what Jack was talking about, and from the desperate look Ianto had just shot his way, neither did he.

He hesitated, hovering and trying to think of what Minato might do. Minato was so good with people, and Akihiko always just sort of flailed and bullied his way towards where he wanted to be.

Finally he sat down next to Jack and put his arm around him, hoping he wasn't about to get groped.

"What were you trying to forget?" he asked softly. "Please tell us."

Jack turned his head into Akihiko's shoulder and hid his face there. At Akihiko's prompting, he hesitated, but shook his head again. Ianto could see a blush across the back of Jack's neck, which definitely happened very rarely, though Ianto wasn't sure whether it was because Jack was drunk, or emotional, or what. Ianto sighed, and knelt on the ground in front of Jack and Akihiko, putting one hand on his Jack's knee and stroking another hand through his hair.

"Jack, please. Who are you worried about? Is it me? Akihiko? Is it the Doctor?" Jack shook his head. Ianto moved his hand to cup Jack's face, gently forcing his chin to make the man face him. "Let us in, Jack. We're here to help you."

Jack stared at Ianto. His hand fisted in the fabric of Akihiko's shirt. Ianto could practically watch the thought process of whether to share or not go through Jack's head through his eyes. Finally, Jack lowered his eyes, and said one simple word. "Gray."

Ianto involuntarily tensed. "Gray? What about him, Jack? It's been, well, a while since that all happened. Surely you..." Suddenly, a thought flickered to life in his mind. "...no. You didn't." There was silence from Jack. "Jack, you should have known what a horrible idea that was," he said, very carefully keeping from yelling, unaware that Akihiko probably had no idea what he was talking about.

Akihiko was surprised when Jack suddenly turned in and cuddled him like that, and looked up at Ianto with widened eyes as Ianto tried to question him.

"Huh? Who's Grey?"

Ianto held his tongue. This was Jack's to explain, so he sat back, only squeezing Jack's knee to show him that he knew how difficult that it was to answer Akihiko's question.

Jack sighed in defeat, leaning closer into Akihiko, turning to face him. "Gray...is my brother. He--I was in charge of keeping him safe, but I let go of his hand. When we were kids. I let go of his hand, and he was stolen. By monsters. I failed him. I thought he'd died. But it was worse, because he lived. He lived and now he hates me," he said, his voice getting awfully vulnerable in the end.

Ianto's chest tightened, and he cut in so he didn't have to hear Jack so raw. "John brought him back. John thought he could get Jack back by giving him Gray, but he was wrong. Gray--something happened to his mind, wherever he was. Whatever it was that took him, they drove him mad, and the only thing he wanted with Jack was revenge for ruining his life. Gray was the one who killed Tosh and Owen, and..."

"Ianto..." Jack said.

"He buried you alive," Ianto said, bitterly. "Alive, Jack."

Akihiko's eyes widened at the story. "Your brother did that?" he whispered, his arm tightening around Jack's shoulders.

He fell silent. Perhaps with a different situation, he'd have been telling Jack it wasn't his fault, that he shouldn't feel so bad about Gray. And anyway, Gray was probably a lost cause, and it was sad, but he had murdered two friends of Jack's. If he were really insane, he probably couldn't come back from it.

But the words stuck in his throat, because Gray was Jack's brother. And Akihiko understood. What if his sister was so mad that Akihiko hadn't protected her that she hated him? How would he react?

He didn't know. But he could see himself possibly reacting a lot like this.

"I'm sorry, Jack," he said softly, and tucked his forehead against Jack's neck. "I'm really sorry."

Ianto noticed how Akihiko reacted to this, and noted that it was not the reaction that he'd thought would happen-- it was almost uncharacteristically sad for Akihiko. Then he remembered, the first day that the two of them had met, Akihiko'd told him about his parents and his sister and trying to save them, so he could sympathize. He bitterly noted that all three of them were tragic enough to understand each other, at least somewhat. Aside from Lisa, he certainly felt guilty about abandoning his own sister for Torchwood.

"I'm sorry too, Jack, I know how much he means to you," he said, stroking the knee that he had hold of. "But this can't be just memories. It can't've been for very long, and you must have put him back, because I'd've known about it otherwise. But you unfroze him, didn't you?"

Jack tensed, before closing his eyes and leaning his head on top of Akihiko's. "We did it with Tommy, every year, and while the drink was finishing up, I just... I thought..."

Akihiko wanted to lift his head, but Jack was holding him and he didn't want to push him away, even the little he would have to to lift his head.

He snuggled in closer, tightening his grip. "Unfroze him?" he whispered. "Jack, what happened?"

"I couldn't let him die. I couldn't kill him. Not after I'd just found him again. Even though... Even after all he did, I just... He's my brother. I let him go. It's my fault. I forgave him, but he won't... he won't forgive me." Jack seemed to retreat into himself. Ianto, needing answers, couldn't let him do that. He reached out a hand to cup Jack's face, hoping that between Akihiko and himself, Jack'd stay grounded and present mentally.

"We put him in the lower levels. In a cryogenics unit," Ianto explained. "He's essentially frozen, kept in a permanent stasis with our technology, unless we decide to wake him up. He must've woken him up to talk to him, and put him back when Gray wasn't cooperating. But we shouldn't even do that, Jack," he said, turning to look Jack directly in the eyes. "What if something'd gone wrong? It's Gray, Jack. Who knows what he'd do if he got out? I know he's your brother, but...he's too dangerous."

Akihiko gave Ianto a horrified look out of the corner of his eye, then closed his eyes again and tightened his grip on Jack. "But Jack...it's not your fault. I mean... I understand. I let my sister and my parents die, too. But you can't do this to yourself, either. You have to fight not to do the same thing next time, fight to become stronger, but you can't just sit here and feel horrible. That's not right, and it doesn't help Gray at all!"

He had no idea if what he was saying would help at all, but he spoke from his heart. It was the way he had always lived, and it was hard for him to understand that perhaps, not everyone had the essential optimism to live the same way.

Jack hadn't thought about it that way, not concerning Gray at least. Akihiko hadn't meant the next time to be exactly the same thing that happened to Gray, but Jack's drunken mind interpreted it that way. He briefly considered what would happen if those horrible aliens ever made it to this planet, to this time. Even after all this time, he was no closer to knowing how to fight them. His stomach took a sickening lurch.

He sat up straight suddenly, his office seeming to spin around him. Maybe a bottle and a half of home brewed hypervodka wasn't the best way to go about things. "I know. I'm sorry. Need to be stronger," he said, feeling more and more nauseous by the second. "The 21st Century. Need to be...need...I need to...!" He stood and threw himself across the room, tripping over Ianto where he was kneeling in front of him, almost careening headfirst into his desk in the process, reaching the waste basket in time to be violently sick.

Ianto hurried to his side, reaching a hand out to rub Jack's back gently. It was all rather too reminiscent of his days at university, except this was Jack and Ianto'd never seen him ill before. It was turning out to be a day of surprises all around. "You've really done it this time, Jack," Ianto said quietly, running his other hand over his face in frustration. He turned to Akihiko. "Could you get some water? I'm not too familiar with hypervodka or whatever it is, but he's got to stay hydrated, at the very least."

Akihiko was sitting stock still, startled by the suddenness of Jack lurching out of his arms. Ianto's request shocked him back to himself and he nodded, jumping to his feet and darting out of the room.

He returned a moment later with a cup of water and approached the two men cautiously.

"Here, drink this Jack," he said gently, holding the water out.

"Sorry," Jack said, "I didn't..." And was promptly sick again. Ianto shushed him, and took the water from Akihiko's hand.

Ianto sighed, rubbing Jack's back again. "Makes a good example of why you shouldn't drink this much," he said, mostly to Akihiko, as Jack was otherwise preoccupied. "You're going to be feeling this in the morning, that's definitely for sure."

Jack groaned at him and sat back, leaning against Ianto. He wordlessly took the glass from the younger man, drank it down, and then handed it back, mumbling something under his breath that Ianto couldn't quite make out. It seemed to Ianto that the hypervodka had caught up with him, and fast. Maybe it was something to do with Jack's metabolism, who knows? Ianto certainly didn't.

"Give him another moment, and then will you help me get him up and on the bed? He's right heavy, especially when he'll probably not be much help himself." He carefully avoided the term dead weight, because although not applicable in this situation, most of the other times Ianto had to be lifting Jack the term was almost painfully accurate, what with Jack usually being actually dead and all.

Akihiko sighed. He'd already had the odd headache - and well, drunken threesome - as a result of alcohol, so he didn't really need the warning. "Yeah, Jack's old enough to know better, for sure," he said, crouching down on Jack's other side and putting his arm around him.

He watched, waiting to be sure that Jack wasn't going to be sick again. Between him and Ianto, they should be able to get Jack to bed, thankfully, but the problem they were trying to deal with was probably not going to be solved today.

Ianto waited with Akihiko for a while longer, before speaking up again. "Jack, we're going to put you to bed, alright?" Jack vaguely acknowledged Ianto's words, and only responded with a nod. Ianto nodded over to Akihiko. "He's no help, we'll have to do it between us," he said. He put one of Jack's arms around his shoulders, his other arm around Jack's waist. "Alright, up we go!"

Between the two of them, they got Jack settled on the bed. Ianto made sure that he was lying on his side and moved the wastebasket over beside him before turning and walking out of Jack's office, waiting until Akihiko was out after him before shutting the door behind him. He took in a breath and let it out slowly. "Of all the things that I thought would happen today, this certainly is not even close to being one of them."

Akihiko helped as best he could, grunting under Jack's heavy weight as they staggered with him over to the bed and trying not to drop him too heavily onto the bed. He pushed firmly but not cruelly until Jack's whole body was on the bed, pulled his shoes off, and then tucked the blanket up over him.

Then he gratefully followed Ianto out of the room and sighed. "No, I wasn't expecting that, either," he admitted sadly. "Ianto...what did he mean about letting Gray go?"

Ianto bit his lip, moving to the railing and looking down across the Hub. Myfanwy was nowhere to be seen, apparently sensing the mood in the place to be tense. "I only know what he's told me," Ianto said, after a pause. "There was an invasion of where he grew up. It was chaos. The--whatever alien it was, you had better hope that if they caught you that they'd kill you, because if they took you with them, you'd live a life of torture of the worst kind. They got to the community that Jack's family lived in, and his parents sent the two of them off running with the rest of the children, to hide in the dunes."

He lowered his head. "Gray tripped, and Jack let go of his hand. Lost him in the chaos of the attack. He says that it was the worst day of his life, and frankly, I believe it. It was a good part of the reason that Jack became a Time Agent, and set his way on the path to now, to find Gray." He shook his head. "All of this guilt and pain just because he slipped and let go of his hand. I still can't believe that Gray blames him for it, though."

Akihiko stared at Ianto in horror. He could understand Jack's pain, completely. And the thought that Jack lived in such guilt and pain over it twisted his stomach into knots.

He lowered his head, wrapping his arms around himself and gripping his own upper arms in his gloved hands. If his sister hated him for his own failure, if she had endured horrible torture that drove her insane and made her murder two of his friends... he would probably be drinking, too. He couldn't blame Jack for wanting to keep Gray near, wanting to make him forgive him.

"We have to do something," he said softly. "For Jack, and for Gray, too."

Ianto's hands gripped the railing, his knuckles white. Akihiko was right, they had to do something. But what? He bitterly thought that the easiest way out of it would be to put Gray out of his misery and simply cause his cryogenics unit to malfunction. It was simple, Jack would never know it was him, and Gray wouldn't mind too much, being dead and all. But could he do it? Ianto had killed before--he'd had to, with a job like Torchwood--but to do it like this... Just because Gray was a sociopathic murderer didn't give Ianto the right to commit murder himself. And yet. Could he?

How could he even begin to suggest this to Akihiko, though? "We'll think of something," he said, nodding. "In the meantime, maybe you should just call it a day. Jack's not going to be up anytime soon, Gwen's got the day off, and I..." he motioned around the Hub, "suppose I have to clean up this mess. So unless you'd like to help...?" he trailed off. He had deliberately changed the subject, his thoughts becoming too dark for him to deal with at that moment. Truthfully, he really needed time to think about it all.

Edited 2010-01-11 14:03 (UTC)

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[RL WITH AKIHIKO AND JACK]

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