torchwoodteaboy | [RL WITH SULU]

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[RL WITH SULU]

Ianto lay in his bed upstairs, a book laying face down on his chest. He had been trying to read for the better part of an hour, but had found himself drifting more often than not, and on the third read-through of the same page he'd given up and just put it down. And he'd been drifting since then as well, not really awake enough to be doing anything other than just lying there, not really tired enough to really go to sleep. More and more each day, while no one else was around, he found himself in this sort of a state, a sort of standby mode that was disturbing in the fact that it didn't really bother him. That nothing really bothered him anymore, because he really couldn't dredge up enough energy to be bothered about it.

He brought a hand up to his face, running it across his eyes. He...he couldn't keep lying to himself like this. At first he thought it had simply been his imagination, that things were just progressing slowly, that was all. For all that he had worried that things wouldn't get better, he had hoped that they would, Sulu continuously helping him be optimistic in that fact, and so the fact that he was going backwards, now, getting worse, it... It was crushing. And he had no idea what he was going to do about it. No idea. The even worse fact of the matter was that he was slowly convincing himself that there was nothing to do about it. That he'd never get better. That it was too late, and he couldn't do anything about it now even if he tried. Which was the mindset he kept spiraling down and dragging himself out of as it approached that time when Sulu would be making his appearance for the night.

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Ianto didn't think that he could fight his way back from the verge of sleep, even if he tried. So he just let himself accept it, let himself accept that he was being pulled further and further into a state of unconsciousness, and just went with it. He shifted his hand in Sulu's grasp, letting him know without having to say anything, without having to open his eyes or pick up his head, that he understood. And the movement was small enough that it also let the other man know that he was sinking fast, and that if there was anything to say to him before he was out, it better be said quickly.

"Can't help it if I'm comfortable to lean against," Ianto said, softly. "M'not going to move anywhere any time soon. Probably make for a pretty decent pillow, all things considered."

In all honesty...if Sulu were to say something to McCoy about talking to Jack, if McCoy were to suggest talking to him about everything...Jack would probably agree to it. He wasn't really one to believe in counseling or anything of the sort, but. At this point, anything that might help was worth at least giving it a try. For Ianto's sake, and for Sulu's and even Gwen's, as much as it was for Jack's own.

"Oh yeah?" Jack asked, softly. "And how do I compare, then?" Ianto smiled, shifting his head a little to nudge Jack's shoulder that he was leaning against. "Not half bad, really," he replied, sleepily. "Though Sulu here could give you a run for your money..."

Sulu grinned at that, opening his eyes again to give Jack a good-natured wink. He couldn't help being pretty good as a pillow, since he just happened to spread out wherever he was and become one with the bed. Still, he knew that Ianto would never be able to decide between the two of them, for anything really, and that was... okay. Sulu was okay with that. Which was a little surprising, given how often he'd felt a little outranked by Jack in more than one way.

"You are comfortable," Sulu told Ianto quietly, keeping his grip on Ianto's hand firm, not wanting to let go for the world. "Comfortable and great. Don't forget that, all right? And when you wake up, we're going to get you back in order." When Ianto woke up, they'd fix everything. It was the only option.

Ianto made a noise of agreement, not really being awake enough to say much more. Jack shifted his hand to run through Ianto's hair again, a trick that he had found out worked on the other man a long time ago, and had used liberally ever since. He tried not to take advantage of that fact, but. Especially now, it was hard not to use it, not to want to help Ianto settle down, even if he himself wasn't anywhere close to falling asleep. It only took a minute, not even, before Ianto's breathing was evened out, his body relaxed in between them in the way that only the deepest of sleeps could bring about.

Jack stayed silent for a few more moments, running his hand through Ianto's hair out of habit more than anything else, shifting to press a gentle kiss to Ianto's forehead before sighing. "You... You really believe that everything will work out for this, don't you...?" he inquired, although it was more of a statement than an actual question. "You're not just telling him that to keep his hopes up?"

Sulu was far more liberal with his attempts to get Ianto to fall asleep, but this time he had figured Jack would want to have more control over the situation and so he'd let things play out with as little interference as he could. Still, when he heard Jack speak up, talking to him since Ianto was now asleep, he opened his eyes, obviously wide awake, and gave Jack an honest smile.

"Yeah, I do," he said. "I..." He smile faltered and then dropped, though his tone was no less optimistic. "I wasn't sure, at first. I didn't know this was happening until tonight - if I had known sooner, he'd already have seen McCoy, community be damned. But now that we know it's happening, that things aren't getting better, that Dr. Watson hasn't been able to help? Now I will do everything in my power to fix it." He gave Jack a pointed look. "And we both know that I really do everything to make things better."

Jack settled back against the pillows he was leaning on, careful not to jostle Ianto too much, although he knew that he wouldn't be waking the other man up if he did shift a little underneath him. "So...John knew about this, then?" he asked. Ianto hadn't shared that information when he'd told Jack about it before in the kitchen, although Jack really hadn't been listening for any extra information on the topic either, really. "Well, that's something at least. That he had gone to someone else that might have been able to help him in this..."

He ran his hand through Ianto's hair again, sighing. "I know that you're going to do everything you can for him. Hell, I'll do anything I can too. Just say the word and I'll be there. But. This isn't something I can fix. I... I mean, I could try," he said, softly. "There's. There's this thing that I can do. Share my life energy with him. But...with this amulet business, and all, I...I'm afraid it might not have the right effect. I don't want to go messing with metaphysics like that, when there's something a bit more scientific that might be able to fix it..." He looked to Sulu, over the top of Ianto's head. "...you really believe in this Doctor McCoy of yours, then? That he'll be able to handle something like this, something that's probably never even existed in your universe, and probably never will."

"I think so, yeah. He mentioned some of the stuff John was telling him to do to help with the symptoms." He watched Jack pet Ianto's hair, shifting a bit to keep an eye on Jack as he spoke. Really, he wished that they could risk it. He wanted Jack to be able to do this, to help Ianto get better in a physical way, rather than only being there for Ianto. Especially since Jack seemed so hesitant right now, as sure as he was that Ianto was going to die again and that there'd be nothing to stop it. Even now, Sulu had a feeling that was why Jack was staying; to pay some kind of last respect.

"Jack," he said after a moment of silence, reaching out to put his free hand on Jack's arm. "I know this is hard. It's hard for me too. To know that this isn't going as flawlessly as we had thought it would. Believe me, it is. But we both know we're too stubborn to give up until we've exhausted all our options. And if McCoy can't fix this, we'll look for someone else who can." He squeezed Jack's arm, trying to reassure him that no matter what, things were going to work out, even if only by pure force of will.

Jack regarded Sulu with guarded eyes. He knew that they would do everything they could to make things better. He just wasn't sure that everything they could would be enough, this time. Hell, he couldn't get his hopes up again only to have them crushed, he couldn't. He knew that it was a race against time, now, to find a cure, and who knows how much worse things would get, if McCoy couldn't do anything about it, in the end. How much time did they have for the doctor to figure out whether or not he could do anything? How much time did they have...in all?

"...I can't lose him again, Sulu," he said, quietly. "I can't let myself believe you on this, and then lose him again. So I..." He chewed his lip, lowering his eyes to Ianto, sleeping deeply, lying there between them. "I want to believe you, that we'll find something, that it'll work out, that McCoy will fix this, but. I mean. If he can't... If there really isn't anything to be done..." He shook his head, shutting his eyes, not even able to put into words how completely broken he would be, after a blow like that. "I can't let myself believe you, but I'm going to try. ...believing in this, in a cure, that's all I have left. So. We can't let this take him, Sulu," he said quietly, fiercely, "we can't."

Sulu understood Jack's situation and feelings more than he could ever say. There was no way Sulu could promise they would fix this, not really, and there was no way to convince Jack that he should believe anything he was saying. But he understood the feeling behind everything Jack was saying and, more than anything, he could understand the determination Jack was showing him now. Even if Jack couldn't believe they could fix it, he believed that they could try. And he knew how Jack would feel if this didn't work out.

"I know," he said, as sincerely and firmly as possible, "I know we can't, and we won't. I don't care what we have to do. I promise you, Jack, I'm not giving this up until I've tried everything."

Jack looked at the other man again, nodding slightly. "That's all I can ask of you, Sulu. It's...it's more than I would ever dream of asking of anyone, really, but I know that it's not because of me that you're doing that, but for him as well, for yourself." He quirked the smallest of smiles at Sulu. "I know that regardless of what I tell you to do, you're going to try your hardest, and I appreciate that, I really do. I'm... I'm going to try myself as well. However..." He trailed off, biting his lip.

"There's not much I can do for him, while he's seeing your Doctor McCoy. I'll. I'll be on call the whole time, I'll have my phone with me, but. Even though Torchwood's not exactly in operation right now, even if we don't have a base or a team or anything like that...I can't just leave here and come spend time there. I did that enough already, in that week I spent with you. I..." If this didn't work, then he'd do it again, only next time, he wasn't going to come back. Couldn't come back, and spend time in Cardiff without Ianto. Too many ghosts, as there were, and much as he loved Gwen and Torchwood, neither of them would be enough to keep him tied down, without Ianto as his anchor on it all.

He didn't even realize how much the other man had meant to him, until it'd been far too late. Even now... He was still too late. He wondered if there would ever be a time when he believed that he was ready to let someone go. If so, he'd never experienced one before, yet, and he'd lived long enough that if it were possible, he really should have by then. He shook himself out of those thoughts. "You're going to have to be the one to keep me informed," he said. "Think you can do that, Lieutenant?"

"It's alright," Sulu said honestly. "I understand. Work isn't going to stop because of this, and if you want to get Torchwood back up on its feet..." If Jack wanted to get it back up on its feet. "You're going to need to invest time in it. Ianto will understand that too." He knew Ianto would - they both had to know that, right? Ianto was as passionate about his job as Sulu was; at least, that was how it had always seemed, though Ianto was much quieter about it.

"I'll keep in touch and make sure you know what's going on. If you want to come see him, I'll make sure I can arrange a time for you to do that, between what you have to do and what McCoy will have to do." He almost asked then what Jack would do, if this did work - which it would, damn it - about Ianto and Torchwood. Would he try to get him out of it before it even started again? Or would he accept the fact that Ianto, probably the most stubborn out of the three of them, wouldn't let go of his job without one hell of a fight?

Jack wasn't sure if it was that he wanted to get Torchwood back up on its feet or more that he knew that he needed to get it there as soon as possible. That just because this thing with the 456 had happened recently, that didn't mean that they were off the hook by any means. Any minute then, Jack could get a call to his cell, rigged up through the rift spike program, somehow still functional despite the disaster area that was the Hub at that moment, and that could be it. Torchwood needed him, it needed to exist, at least until a new organization stepped in and showed itself up to the challenge.

"I don't want to get in McCoy's way," Jack said, quietly, "but. That would help me. To be able to visit. To at least...well. To know what's going on. To know if..." He sighed, deeply. "To know when he's coming home. Coming back. When he gets better; if he gets worse. I... I need to know if that's the case, so that. So that I can at least try to be there..." He turned his eyes to the ceiling, sighing again. "You can give McCoy my contact information as well. In case something comes up while you're on-duty, or something. In case he'd like to get a hold of me, for whatever reason." Including talking. Who knows what the doctor might want, given the opportunity to speak to him.

"I will," Sulu said, nodding. "I'll make sure he can give you status updates as they happen as well. And you won't get in his way. I'll make sure of that too." He was planning on making sure of a lot and, the more he thought about all the things he needed to remember - an easy enough task, really - he knew that after this, he was really going to need a vacation. A long one, on some kind of tropical planet. That'd be nice. He could make Ianto like the tropics.

He smiled a little sourly at his own thoughts and shook his head to clear it, his smile turning soft as he looked back at Jack once more. "And... you know, if he needs to stay on the Enterprise for a few days, if you can't pull yourself away, I can always come down. Lend a hand, if you need it. Granted, I'm not the most useful to have around, but Gwen's got a baby coming and Ianto'll be busy getting better, so." He shrugged a little. "If you need an extra pair of hands, let me know."

Jack nodded, giving Sulu a guarded smile. He appreciated the other man beyond anything he could even begin to express, and he could only hope that Sulu understood how much his efforts meant to Jack, even if that wasn't obviously the case. "Yeah," he said, "I'll let you know. There shouldn't be anything too pressing, though. Mostly just city-wide investigations and well, cleaning up the Hub."

He lowered his eyes. "Actually, Gwen's started on that by herself. I mean, with help from Rhys, but. She's been managing Hub cleanup on her own, and she's... She's so mad at me, I've been staying away. Letting her do what she can while she still can. And Rhys is helping, so. She's not completely on her own. I just wish..." He raised his free hand to his face, running it over it and groaning. "I've really made a mess of things, here, and I don't know how I'm going to be able to fix it all. I... I didn't realize how much I needed them until I ended up on my own again..." Them being Ianto and Gwen, of course. Well, his whole support system, really. Including Sulu. Jack liked to believe that he was well-adjusted and independent, but recent times had shown him that that was anything but the case.

Sulu nodded slowly, understanding Jack's situation better than he would have expected. He'd abandoned Gwen when Ianto'd died - sure, he'd done it in theory to come help Sulu cope, but they all knew that Jack had considered the Enterprise a pit stop between him and anywhere but here. But he could understand the guilt Jack was experiencing.

"It'll work out," he said quietly. "You mean a lot to Ianto and I'm sure you mean a lot to Gwen as well. They'll forgive you, and you'll forgive them. But..." Sulu paused, then fixed a pressing, serious look to Jack. "I don't think you did anything wrong, here. Any of it. Like I told you before, I don't blame you for wanting to leave, and if things hadn't worked out like this..." He looked to Ianto, sleeping between them and not knowing that the two of them were still up and talking, "I would have been tempted to get dropped off along the way."

Jack shook his head, sadly. "I... I'm not sure that running away would have solved anything, really. But it would've been a whole hell of a lot easier than having to come back and deal with all of this without him. Because I can't. I can't just start rebuilding Torchwood, rebuilding the Hub, sifting through his archives, going to restaurants we'd gone to together, living in the city without him. It's bad enough that Stephen--..." Jack trailed off, shutting his eyes and turning his head to press his face into Ianto's hair for a moment.

"It's bad enough sticking around, knowing what I've done to Alice, what I've done to Stephen. But having to stick around, without him, knowing what happened to him... They're my team, Sulu," he said, softly, fiercely. "They were my team, my first team that I ever hired as the leader of Torchwood. And they've all died, one way or another. Everyone except for Gwen. What does that show about my qualifications as a leader? If... If I can't fix him, if we can't do something about this...then what hope is there?" He looked up at Sulu. "I don't want him to ever have been right about just being a blip in time..."

"It doesn't mean anything about your qualifications, Jack. You work in an exceptionally hostile environment and these things happen. Unless every other leader of Torchwood kept their teams alive for decades longer than you, you shouldn't be letting your record get you down, okay?" Sulu was sincere but firm, his grip tightening a bit on Jack's arm. "There are risks in Torchwood, and that's just how it is."

He knew Jack had to know that. It was obvious, really, that it was the logical assumption about Torchwood. But he also knew that Jack was attached to everyone on his team, that he thought of them like family. But that was all right as well. It was how you defined a good leader. "And we will fix this. We will."

Jack took in a long, deep breath, and let it out slowly. Very, very slowly, trying to channel all of the negativity he was feeling in that moment out with it. He'd had psychic training, emotional training, he knew the right steps to go about in order to make himself feel a little better, a little less overwhelmed with it all. And so, as he let out that breath, he felt a little better, infinitely glad of the reassurances that Sulu seemed to be a never-ending supply of. "Yeah..." he said, quietly, softly, after a moment, managing the smallest of smiles at the other man. "Yeah, we will."

He shifted for a moment, getting more comfortable as he positioned himself against Ianto, finally able to let himself relax now that he was feeling a little better about their situation. "Well. I'm going to be sticking around for a little while longer. Just...y'know. Just because. Don't let me keep you up, or keep you from doing whatever it is that you want to be doing right now," he said. "Big day tomorrow, after all..."

Nodding at Jack's comment about the big day, Sulu gently moved himself away from Ianto, having put his communicator down on the dresser earlier out of habit. He'd need to get in touch with McCoy, which would mean he'd need to tag his message to make sure McCoy got it as soon as possible.

Sighing, he took to pacing as he organized a message and sent it out, waiting for a response. He paused to smile at Jack, briefly. "I'm glad you're staying, though," he offered, even as his communicator beeped, indicating a new message. That had been quick... "Ianto will appreciate it, even if you have to leave before he gets up."

Jack raised an eyebrow at the messages that Sulu was sending and receiving, but he figured the other man would tell him about anything that might be important that the two of them said. He trusted Sulu, and that trust was well-earned, as far as Jack was concerned.

"Yeah, well," Jack said, shrugging as much as he could, with Ianto's head on his shoulder. "He did say that I made a pretty good pillow. Far be it from me to deny him one more night of being comfortable. <I've got no idea what your med bay is like, on that ship, after all. When I was with the Agency, that sort of thing was all over the chart--anywhere from a normal hospital bed, to nothing better than a sheet over a metal tray, so." "And besides," he turned his head to look down at Ianto as he slept. "Who knows how long McCoy's going to want to keep him. I'm pretty sure that, regardless of how nice the beds are there, I doubt that the good doctor's going to take all that kindly to me climbing in bed with Ianto while I'm there, or anything like that... I'd rather not get banned from being able to visit, if I can help it."

The only reason Sulu didn't give Jack a play-by-play of the conversation was because he wanted to avoid telling Jack all about how annoyed McCoy was at him for not bringing this to him from the start. At least, with the way this was going, he could tell McCoy was really going to help, and he'd want to as soon as possible.

"McCoy's pretty good about these kinds of things," Sulu said after a moment of typing a response back, smiling sympathetically at Jack. "The medbay is comfortable enough, and if Ianto's looking well enough, I doubt he'd do much more than make faces and lecture you for a bit about climbing in with him. He wouldn't ban you, though. You'd have to be detrimental to his health to get kicked out." Or really obnoxious.

Jack chuckled softly, moving to run his hand through Ianto's hair again, the other man being completely oblivious to everything that was going on, everything that was being said around him as he slept. "Well, Lieutenant," he said, a lot more subdued than he would normally be joking, but joking nonetheless, "I know that I may be a heartthrob, but as far as I know, I've never put anyone into cardiac arrest just by paying them a visit, so I think that I might be in the clear, there."

He shook his head. "That is good to know, though. That I'd actually have to try to get myself kicked out. Lectures and the lot, I can handle. I've dealt with Doctors like him before. I'd just rather be able to leave on my own time, than tossed to the curb because of something as simple as climbing in bed with him." He turned his head to smirk softly at Sulu. "Don't think there's enough room for the three of us in one of those, however, so if you want some quality time with the pair of us, now's as good as any." Depending on how things went, there might not be another time, anyway. No, Jack shook himself from that thought. He was going to look on the bright side here. He was going to take Sulu's word to heart, and not worry as much about this, damn it, because Sulu's optimistic idea on it all sounded so much better than his own.

Sulu made an affirmative noise, too busy trying to decide on the best way to tell McCoy about how Ianto had died. He didn't want to tell him, he didn't want to even think about it. So, he mentioned the videos and tried to put them from his mind.

"I'm sure he's going to want to see Ianto tomorrow morning," he said after he cleared his throat, looking over to Jack. "He's just berating me for bringing someone back from the dead." Like anyone could really judge him for it, though. He was doing exactly what he was used to doing; fixing things, doing the impossible and winning in a no-win situation. "And now that he's getting an idea of the situation, I don't think he'll mind either of us spending a lot of time in the medbay."

Jack nodded. "No? That's good, then. I mean, it's one thing for Ianto to be treated on the Enterprise, but it's another thing for him to be stuck there without any visitors allowed. I mean, it was bad enough he was stuck here, with just the pair of us. I suppose at least as long as he's getting treated, though, it doesn't matter too much..."

Jack ran a hand through Ianto's hair again. "It'll be nice to at least have you on board the ship with him, though. I mean. I'll be here, and getting a hop over won't be all that easy, but. You'll at least be there, a lot closer than you usually are, in case something comes up. There'll at least be one familiar face around, and everything." Jack sighed, resting his head back against the headboard. "God, the things we've been through in the past few months... If we don't all get a break after all of this is over, I'm going to be royally pissed off..."

"I'm thinking about swinging for shoreleave on some tropical planet. Hawaii tropical," he added, as though there were a difference between tropical areas. Still. It'd be nice to get just a few days to unwind, to step back from everything that had happened and just breathe for a few minutes. He wondered if Jim would let him take Jack and Ianto along, should they happen to find anything - but he wasn't sure how that was going to go over quite yet. He'd have to work on that one though.

Finally, he sighed and went back to the bed, climbing back in under the covers and taking one of Ianto's hands in his own. "But it looks like McCoy is ready to help us beat this. I'll probably get lectured some more, but it'll be worth it to get Ianto back in good health."

Jack chuckled, understanding why Sulu had felt the need to specify which kind of tropical he'd be getting. "Yeah, Hawaii tropical would be a nice vacation, I'd say go for it. If you ended up somewhere more like the Philippines tropical, however..." He shook his head. "Good luck with that. I've had enough of those types of planets to last me a lifetime, and let me tell you, they're a lot more trouble than they're worth. The natives are some of the nastiest buggers that you'll ever have to deal with, and believe me, I'm not normally one to discriminate, here."

He sighed as Sulu settled back into the bed with them, feeling the mattress shift under his added weight. Once more, he was glad that Ianto had such a large bed that they could all fit on comfortably. It was a nice change, from the bunker that he was used to having for the last century or so, under the office in the Hub. "Then... The pair of you will be off, tomorrow morning, then," he said, going over it all in his head. "I hope for your sake that McCoy saves it for a rainy day, or something. None of this is your fault, least of all the fact that Ianto let it get this bad before telling us..." He sighed, still not very happy with that fact.

"Think you'll be getting to sleep soon, then?" he asked. "Lots to do, tomorrow, especially if the good doctor is going to launch into a mini tirade about bringing people back from the dead and how much risk is involved in that or whatever it seems like he's already preparing to toss at you, when you get there."

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