[RL WITH SULU]

[torchwoodteaboy]

Ianto lay in his bed upstairs, a book laying face down on his chest. He had been trying to read for the better part of an hour, but had found himself drifting more often than not, and on the third read-through of the same page he'd given up and just put it down. And he'd been drifting since then as well, not really awake enough to be doing anything other than just lying there, not really tired enough to really go to sleep. More and more each day, while no one else was around, he found himself in this sort of a state, a sort of standby mode that was disturbing in the fact that it didn't really bother him. That nothing really bothered him anymore, because he really couldn't dredge up enough energy to be bothered about it.

He brought a hand up to his face, running it across his eyes. He...he couldn't keep lying to himself like this. At first he thought it had simply been his imagination, that things were just progressing slowly, that was all. For all that he had worried that things wouldn't get better, he had hoped that they would, Sulu continuously helping him be optimistic in that fact, and so the fact that he was going backwards, now, getting worse, it... It was crushing. And he had no idea what he was going to do about it. No idea. The even worse fact of the matter was that he was slowly convincing himself that there was nothing to do about it. That he'd never get better. That it was too late, and he couldn't do anything about it now even if he tried. Which was the mindset he kept spiraling down and dragging himself out of as it approached that time when Sulu would be making his appearance for the night.

Comments

[parked]

Sulu knew he sounded naive, maybe a little stupid, but he didn't mind that fact because, truthfully, Ianto and Jack were probably the two people he really could act like an idiot around without getting too badly mocked for it. He smiled a little bashfully and closed his eyes, nodding a bit.

"So long as me telling you that you both really need to communicate more isn't overstepping or anything." He felt undeniably better, though, that he had asked; he wasn't really used to this kind or relationship, or having this much invested emotionally in anyone, to know what was the right way of doing things. Thankfully, Jack didn't seem annoyed with him for not getting it right away.

[51stcentury]

Jack shook his head, smiling at the other man's honesty, at how earnest he was. "Believe me. when you overstep any sort of boundary that I might have, you'll know about it. Chances are, though, it's never going to be any sort of boundary between Ianto and I. Maybe you're not used to people thinking like me, and that's fine, but really. He's not mine. There is no hierarchy between us just because of the order that we might have gotten to know him, you know. That's not how this works. Well..."

He shrugged. "That's not how it's supposed to work, at least. Granted, some people aren't cut out for this sort of thing, and they find that out the hard way, but." He smiled, and his smile shone through his voice so that neither of them had to open their eyes to know that it was there. "I guess the three of us just lucked out, in that area of things... That Ianto's ahead of his time in the way he thinks, especially. And that you and I both know that he's never going to play favorites, here."

[parked]

Sulu nodded at that as though it was obvious, but he felt a little silly and guilty anyway for being unable to stop himself from thinking that way. That Jack had seniority, so to speak - but really, how could he not? It wasn't as though he was upset by it, or anything. Ianto just had known Jack for long, had been with Jack for longer; it was only fair for him to assume that there was more depth there than he could tread at the moment.

Still, he resolved to try not to think about it like that from now on, if he could help it. So instead he just smiled and said, "Yeah. I don't think he'd know what to do with himself if he had to rank us. And that we're all pretty lucky to be on good terms with each other. That makes things a lot easier, obviously." Especially now, after everything that had happened.

[51stcentury]

At the idea of Ianto trying to have to struggle to rank the pair of them, Jack snorted softly, curling his fingers slightly where they lay on Ianto's chest, smiling softly. "He wouldn't do it, even if we asked him to. Even if we expected him to. Like I said, he's ahead of his time. Way ahead of his time."

"You know," he said, opening his eyes to smile up at the ceiling. "I'm not sure I even remember what sorts of doubts I had about you, before now. Whatever they were, you've gone so far above and beyond proving them wrong..." He trailed off, sighing. "That I'm sorry for doubting you, even if I can't remember why I did in the first place. You may be young, and you may be pretty cocky sometimes, but. I definitely couldn't ask for someone better to have around in moments like this. Plus," he said, smirking, chuckling a little, "Ianto seems to like you well enough."

[parked]

"Starfleet trains that into you," Sulu said, "The cockiness, at least. Though I guess we all have to have something to build off, there, huh?" He laughed a little and shook his head. "But I'm glad that, whatever misgivings you had, I turned out to be better than that."

Really, though, he wasn't surprised that Jack had any issues with him in the beginning. He'd made an ass of himself - somehow, he really didn't know how, yet - and he hadn't expected Jack to really like him after that. But the other man had pretty much met all of Sulu's expectations; he knew captains, after all. He knew Jack's type. The fact that he had seen him when he was at his lowest hadn't changed the fact that Jack was a strong (maybe headstrong), decent man. And Ianto loved him, which was all he needed to know about his character.

[51stcentury]

Jack nodded. "Yeah, I'm thinking that anyone who signs up for anything having to do with Starfleet or the Time Agency, or military life in general, they have to have some sort of cockiness to them in the first place. I mean, it's not just strength of will that gets you through that training. You've gotta believe that you're going to get through it in the first place, and if Starfleet training is anything like the Agency..." Jack shook his head. "Then you have to be cocky as hell if you're going to make anything of yourself, from there."

He turned his head to Sulu's direction, not looking at him because Ianto was sort of in the way for that, but pointing his voice in his direction nonetheless. "And from the way I understand it, from the way that Jim makes it sound, you're one hell of a pilot, so. Guess it's just an occupational hazard that we're going to have to live with..." he said, his tone light and warm, so that Sulu wouldn't have to be looking in order to tell that he was smiling.

[parked]

Sulu did hear the smile in Jack's voice, and he couldn't help but smile a little at that; despite all the bullshit he'd been through lately, Sulu couldn't help but trust the fact that if Jack was smiling, he was at least content for the moment. He knew it was probably a wrong assumption to make, but that didn't stop him, because he needed whatever little optimism he could find in this situation at the moment.

Closing his eyes and shifting a bit to move closer to Ianto's side, Sulu made an affirming noise to Jack's comment. "Guess you will," he said, knowing full well that Jack's little quip was probably meant to make him feel more wanted and accepted by the both of them. He'd take it at that value, at least - after all, he really did need whatever he could find to lift his spirits. Even if it was just from throwaway comments and the tones of voice.