torchwoodteaboy | [RL WITH SULU]

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[RL WITH SULU]

Ianto lay in his bed upstairs, a book laying face down on his chest. He had been trying to read for the better part of an hour, but had found himself drifting more often than not, and on the third read-through of the same page he'd given up and just put it down. And he'd been drifting since then as well, not really awake enough to be doing anything other than just lying there, not really tired enough to really go to sleep. More and more each day, while no one else was around, he found himself in this sort of a state, a sort of standby mode that was disturbing in the fact that it didn't really bother him. That nothing really bothered him anymore, because he really couldn't dredge up enough energy to be bothered about it.

He brought a hand up to his face, running it across his eyes. He...he couldn't keep lying to himself like this. At first he thought it had simply been his imagination, that things were just progressing slowly, that was all. For all that he had worried that things wouldn't get better, he had hoped that they would, Sulu continuously helping him be optimistic in that fact, and so the fact that he was going backwards, now, getting worse, it... It was crushing. And he had no idea what he was going to do about it. No idea. The even worse fact of the matter was that he was slowly convincing himself that there was nothing to do about it. That he'd never get better. That it was too late, and he couldn't do anything about it now even if he tried. Which was the mindset he kept spiraling down and dragging himself out of as it approached that time when Sulu would be making his appearance for the night.

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He quirked an eyebrow at Sulu, regarding him closely. "Well, I should imagine a lot of this is a first for you. I mean. It's a first for me and believe me, I have lived long enough to have a lot of things happen to me over the years." He gripped Sulu's shoulder for a moment longer, before letting it go, not wanting to keep it there for too long, knowing the other man wasn't as physical as he was. He didn't move his hand away completely, though, instead moving to rest it on Ianto's chest.

"You're doing a pretty good job of handling things, from where I can see, though," he said, softly. "I mean. You sure as hell handled today a lot better than I could, as you might have been able to have guessed. Handled my issues with all of this a lot better than I would have, if I was in your shoes. ...I'm going to end up owing you quite a lot, when this is all over, I've come to realize," he said, shaking his head and smiling softly, warmly at the other man.

Sulu shook his head. "I'm really good at bottling, is all," he said, smiling despite himself. "I'll work through my frustration later, probably in the gym on the ship." He knew that if anything more happened, he'd probably lose it, so he could only hope Ianto would be a little more honest with what was going on with him. Otherwise, he wasn't sure he'd be able to handle it.

He trusted Ianto, though. Despite this, he trusted him, knowing logically that Ianto had just been trying to make him and Jack happy. He knew that the other man wouldn't hold anything back now that he knew how much Sulu and Jack wanted to help him, and though he was by no means completely at ease with any of this at the moment, he could hold off on lecturing Ianto for those reasons. "You won't owe me anything," Sulu said, smiling a little.

Jack shook his head. "You may think that you don't, but I know better. You...you're a good man, Sulu. And you've probably done more for me than I could have ever imagined, ever hope. And yeah, maybe it wasn't for me specifically, but it was for Ianto, and for that... For that, I am so, so grateful. I'm." He sighed. "I'm no good at some of these things. I fly off the handle, let my emotions get the better of me."

He turned his gaze to look at Sulu once more. "I'm not saying that bottling is good. Bottling is kinda what ended us up in this situation, at the moment, at least with the fact that we could've done something sooner if not for bottling. But. I'm lucky to have you around, kid," he said, fondly, "and so is he." He nodded to Ianto. "Things might be pretty bad now, and hell. They might even get worse. But." He nodded. "You've got hope, and so...when," Jack had to force the word out, because he wasn't sure he quite believed it yet, "when he gets better, I'm going to try my best to make sure that...that nothing, even remotely as bad as this ever happens again."

"I'm only as good as the company I keep," Sulu said with a smile. He knew that holding it all in wasn't the best idea, but it was the most useful tactic in this situation. And as long as Jack was willing to try and be hopeful, Sulu would be able to put aside any of his misgivings for the moment and help those beliefs stick with the other man.

"When Ianto gets better," he repeated, nodding a little. "But... Jack. If something like this happens again, you need to know that it won't be your fault. Don't do something rash," like kick Ianto out of Torchwood, "Just because you want to keep him safe. All right? Like putting him in a bubble or trying to lock him in his flat. We both know that will end badly, if past experiences tell us anything."

Jack brought up a hand to run across his face. He knew that he couldn't try to put Ianto in a bubble, or lock him in his flat, or fire him from Torchwood or any number of things that he wanted to do, to keep Ianto safe. Because the fact of the matter was that he wanted to keep Ianto happy too, and if he did that...well. Ianto would not be happy with him at all.

"I know..." Jack said, quietly. "He just... He makes it so difficult, sometimes. Like. Like today, like now. He pushes himself too hard. And I'm all for him trying his best, but he doesn't just stop there... I'm not asking him to be a quitter, I'm just... Especially with Torchwood things, if something's potentially deadly or dangerous, he's going to have to stand back let me handle it. Because even if I die, I come back, always will. But we can't keep bringing him back like this. If... If it even works more than one time. He's got to understand that...that we can't lose him again. Not for a very long time."

Sighing, Sulu fixed Jack with a steady look, shifting to get a better position to do so. "Then you need to talk to him about it. When he gets better, you need to say that to him, and if he tries to argue, you need to listen." He smiled and reached his free hand to pat the one Jack had left on Ianto's chest, lightly. "He'll understand if you communicate with him, and if he doesn't... then we can look into plastic bubbles."

He wasn't serious about it, but all the same - if Jack told Ianto that he needed to step back and let Jack take point whenever he could, that their situation was a unique one and that this sort of thing couldn't happen again, and that he needed to trust Jack to be able to handle things and help him - if he didn't understand all that, or refused to listen to reason, Sulu would be stepping in and telling him to listen. He knew that Jack and Ianto didn't have the best conversational track record, and he knew that needed to be fixed, but it wasn't all Jack's fault. If that hadn't been clear before, it sure as hell was now.

Jack chuckled at that, feeling better about the situation not only because of Sulu's reassurances, but because of the hand on top of his own. He really was a tactile person, and a reassuring touch did absolute wonders for him, even now, when things were really pretty trying for Jack, having someone there for him, in support of him, it... It was a good feeling. "I can definitely try talking to him, but you might have to sit on him to make him stick around and really listen to me while I do," he joked.

Truthfully, though, he was going to have a talk. He was going to have a talk with Gwen too, when things settled down. Maybe Ianto could talk her into listening to him. They needed a full team, they needed the three of them together if they were going to even think of picking Torchwood up off the ground. And they were going to have to establish some rules as well. To try and keep the less resilient of the three a bit safer, if it was even possible, Jack didn't really know. But before that, Ianto was going to have to listen to him. They were going to have to talk, not only about Torchwood, but about the pair of them, about Ianto himself. And that was a talk that Jack wasn't sure Ianto would really wanted to have.

"He'll listen though. Eventually. It's probably not going to go all that smoothly, and there will probably be an argument, but. He knows that the way he does things isn't helping. And...well. It really would be a shame to stick him in one of those bubble things," he said, shutting his eyes, a smile spreading across his face. "I really don't think I want to be putting up any more barriers between us than we already have, y'know?"

Though Sulu himself wasn't particularly interested in physical contact as a means of comfort, he did understand its uses and, more than that, he knew that it was something Jack appreciated. It was hard not to figure that out after spending so much time mourning with him.

"You could always use handcuffs," Sulu offered as nonchalantly as possible, though the act was broken by the grin that spread across his face moments later. "But I can understand that. Not wanting to have any more barriers." The truth was that both of them made it hard; Ianto withheld information while Jack left at the first sign of getting upset. He could understand both of those methods, but for Ianto and Jack... their relationship needed a little more talking. Especially after everything that had happened... "I think you both will want to start talking to each other, after all this."

Jack snorted at the handcuffs comment. "Don't tempt me," he said, with a smile at Sulu's grin at him. He shook his head, leaning it back into the pillows and thinking about Sulu's next words, however. "I know that we'll want to start talking to each other. We've probably wanted to start talking to each other for a while now. It's not the wanting that's the problem, though. It's the actual succeeding in it..."

He turned his head to look at Sulu, smiling gently. "You're a brave man for putting up with the pair of us, Sulu. We don't exactly make it easy to deal with us, that's for sure." He moved his hand beneath Sulu's, gently brushing the other man's hand with his own. "I'm sure Ianto and I will get over ourselves after this, though. Although if we don't, feel free to lock us in a room or something until we do." He chuckled, softly. "I'd leave the handcuffs on the outside, though. You do want us to be talking, after all."

"Okay, no handcuffs. But I'm going to hold you to that. If you don't get things a little more settled between you two, I'm going to find a place to lock you two in." Sulu felt Jack's hand move against his and shifted, putting his head against Ianto's shoulder once more before gripping back at Jack's hand. Not tightly, but enough to show that he didn't find anything wrong with the motion.

Maybe normally, he would be a little thrown off by the motion, but things were different now. Sulu was never one for holding hands, or hugging, or anything like that really - but he knew that Ianto was surprisingly tactile for a man who rarely initiated that sort of thing, and Jack hardly hid the fact himself. And since lately it seemed like he was the one who was trying to support the other two, touching was hardly going to stay an issue with him.

Jack chuckled, tucking his head against the top of Ianto's, happy to not only have the company of the man asleep on his shoulder, but of Sulu as well, hand on Jack's hand, words of reassurance and support in his ear. Jack wasn't tired enough to be lulled to sleep by the comfort he had in that moment, but it was enough to get him to relax, something which didn't happen nearly as often as it should, especially not recently.

"You're gonna have to make sure that the room doesn't have furniture, then," he said, with a smile. "He's liable to end up tossing a chair or table at me in frustration," he joked. "He hasn't done so in the past, but. I've never been purposely locked in with him somewhere in order to talk. Who knows how something like that might go." He smiled into Ianto's hair. "Then again, who knows. Maybe it'll go fine. We've never tried to talk after having been faced with a situation quite like this one, after all..."

"You've never been in a situation like this before," Sulu said, "None of us have. And I really hope we don't have to deal with anything like this again." If they did - well, Sulu knew he wouldn't be able to handle it, not really. He had a feeling Jack and Ianto wouldn't be able to either. "But I don't think he'd throw something at you for trying to talk to him." After all, he knew Ianto wanted to talk to him - even if he seemed to be as bad at communication as Jack.

He felt suddenly awkward, and before he could contain himself, he said, "I really hope that - I'm not overstepping boundaries, for you. By talking about your relationship with Ianto." Because while he knew that wasn't necessarily a big deal - he sometimes felt like he was encroaching on Jack's territory, as stupid as it seemed, and he didn't want to be stepping on the other man's toes, just because he wanted to make Ianto happy.

Jack chuckled softly again, shaking his head. He'd forgotten that Sulu wasn't used to this sort of a relationship, with two other people. He knew that it was new to Ianto, but Sulu had just been handling it so well that he hadn't really given it much thought. It wasn't until a moment like this, where Sulu was asking him about stepping into his territory that he realized...well. That the three of them were probably going to have to have a talk eventually, too. That that was the only thing that really kept a three-way relationship going, after all, communication.

"Are you kidding me?" Jack said, softly. "You've saved my skin here a handful of times already, and it's been...what, a couple of months? Half a year? Not even. That's the thing about something like this. There aren't any boundaries for you to be over stepping. We're in the same boat here, you and me. Any and all input you have is a big help." He laughed, equally as soft. "Believe me when I say that I've never really been good at upholding the real relationship parts of these sorts of things before."

Sulu knew he sounded naive, maybe a little stupid, but he didn't mind that fact because, truthfully, Ianto and Jack were probably the two people he really could act like an idiot around without getting too badly mocked for it. He smiled a little bashfully and closed his eyes, nodding a bit.

"So long as me telling you that you both really need to communicate more isn't overstepping or anything." He felt undeniably better, though, that he had asked; he wasn't really used to this kind or relationship, or having this much invested emotionally in anyone, to know what was the right way of doing things. Thankfully, Jack didn't seem annoyed with him for not getting it right away.

Jack shook his head, smiling at the other man's honesty, at how earnest he was. "Believe me. when you overstep any sort of boundary that I might have, you'll know about it. Chances are, though, it's never going to be any sort of boundary between Ianto and I. Maybe you're not used to people thinking like me, and that's fine, but really. He's not mine. There is no hierarchy between us just because of the order that we might have gotten to know him, you know. That's not how this works. Well..."

He shrugged. "That's not how it's supposed to work, at least. Granted, some people aren't cut out for this sort of thing, and they find that out the hard way, but." He smiled, and his smile shone through his voice so that neither of them had to open their eyes to know that it was there. "I guess the three of us just lucked out, in that area of things... That Ianto's ahead of his time in the way he thinks, especially. And that you and I both know that he's never going to play favorites, here."

Sulu nodded at that as though it was obvious, but he felt a little silly and guilty anyway for being unable to stop himself from thinking that way. That Jack had seniority, so to speak - but really, how could he not? It wasn't as though he was upset by it, or anything. Ianto just had known Jack for long, had been with Jack for longer; it was only fair for him to assume that there was more depth there than he could tread at the moment.

Still, he resolved to try not to think about it like that from now on, if he could help it. So instead he just smiled and said, "Yeah. I don't think he'd know what to do with himself if he had to rank us. And that we're all pretty lucky to be on good terms with each other. That makes things a lot easier, obviously." Especially now, after everything that had happened.

At the idea of Ianto trying to have to struggle to rank the pair of them, Jack snorted softly, curling his fingers slightly where they lay on Ianto's chest, smiling softly. "He wouldn't do it, even if we asked him to. Even if we expected him to. Like I said, he's ahead of his time. Way ahead of his time."

"You know," he said, opening his eyes to smile up at the ceiling. "I'm not sure I even remember what sorts of doubts I had about you, before now. Whatever they were, you've gone so far above and beyond proving them wrong..." He trailed off, sighing. "That I'm sorry for doubting you, even if I can't remember why I did in the first place. You may be young, and you may be pretty cocky sometimes, but. I definitely couldn't ask for someone better to have around in moments like this. Plus," he said, smirking, chuckling a little, "Ianto seems to like you well enough."

"Starfleet trains that into you," Sulu said, "The cockiness, at least. Though I guess we all have to have something to build off, there, huh?" He laughed a little and shook his head. "But I'm glad that, whatever misgivings you had, I turned out to be better than that."

Really, though, he wasn't surprised that Jack had any issues with him in the beginning. He'd made an ass of himself - somehow, he really didn't know how, yet - and he hadn't expected Jack to really like him after that. But the other man had pretty much met all of Sulu's expectations; he knew captains, after all. He knew Jack's type. The fact that he had seen him when he was at his lowest hadn't changed the fact that Jack was a strong (maybe headstrong), decent man. And Ianto loved him, which was all he needed to know about his character.

Jack nodded. "Yeah, I'm thinking that anyone who signs up for anything having to do with Starfleet or the Time Agency, or military life in general, they have to have some sort of cockiness to them in the first place. I mean, it's not just strength of will that gets you through that training. You've gotta believe that you're going to get through it in the first place, and if Starfleet training is anything like the Agency..." Jack shook his head. "Then you have to be cocky as hell if you're going to make anything of yourself, from there."

He turned his head to Sulu's direction, not looking at him because Ianto was sort of in the way for that, but pointing his voice in his direction nonetheless. "And from the way I understand it, from the way that Jim makes it sound, you're one hell of a pilot, so. Guess it's just an occupational hazard that we're going to have to live with..." he said, his tone light and warm, so that Sulu wouldn't have to be looking in order to tell that he was smiling.

Sulu did hear the smile in Jack's voice, and he couldn't help but smile a little at that; despite all the bullshit he'd been through lately, Sulu couldn't help but trust the fact that if Jack was smiling, he was at least content for the moment. He knew it was probably a wrong assumption to make, but that didn't stop him, because he needed whatever little optimism he could find in this situation at the moment.

Closing his eyes and shifting a bit to move closer to Ianto's side, Sulu made an affirming noise to Jack's comment. "Guess you will," he said, knowing full well that Jack's little quip was probably meant to make him feel more wanted and accepted by the both of them. He'd take it at that value, at least - after all, he really did need whatever he could find to lift his spirits. Even if it was just from throwaway comments and the tones of voice.

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[RL WITH SULU]

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