Ianto Jones (
torchwoodteaboy) wrote2010-11-17 03:21 am
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[RL WITH SULU]
It'd been a week. A week since that first day that he'd come back from the hospital, and Sulu had had to help him around his flat. A week, most of which he'd spent in a sort of semi-conscious, fatigued and weary state, shuffling about trying to get the necessary things done, but only just succeeding. As Ianto sat on the edge of his bed, just having gotten up from what had been his second nap of the day, and not feeling any better after having taken it, the world spinning around him from having sat up too fast, even though he'd paced himself and been extra careful not to, Ianto had the sinking feeling that in that whole week, he hadn't gotten better at all. Sulu had stuck around until his leave had been up, like he said he would, and then once he'd left, Jack had popped in a few times during the day to help out with chores (he was surprisingly good at doing the dishes and the laundry) and then at night to lie with him (even if Jack didn't sleep and Ianto felt like he was wasting the other man's time). And yet. In that whole week, nothing had changed. Nothing had gotten better. And Ianto was getting sick and tired of being sick and tired, and Jack was great to have around, but. He didn't really understand what it was like to be ill, and sometimes that wore on Ianto even more than not having him around at all.
And now, as the sun was setting, and Jack was off on a sudden call to London, Gwen doing god knows what with Rhys, Ianto wasn't about to disturb their peace, it was all starting to get at Ianto. The darkness was creeping in, and he was beginning to think that maybe he wasn't getting better at all. That maybe he'd never get better. Maybe this was how things would be, from now on. Maybe the darkness really would come for him, because it didn't seem like it would ever really let him go again, and Ianto swallowed against the swell of panic rising in his stomach. He... He couldn't do this. He knew that he didn't want to bother Sulu. That he had specifically refrained from calling him out of the blue for anything since he'd left to go back to his ship, instead waiting for Sulu himself to make the first contact, but. He. He really needed someone there with him. Someone real. Someone who understood and could chase the demons away like he promised he would. And so Ianto did the only thing that he could think of to help, and pulled out his phone to dial the number to Sulu's comm.
And now, as the sun was setting, and Jack was off on a sudden call to London, Gwen doing god knows what with Rhys, Ianto wasn't about to disturb their peace, it was all starting to get at Ianto. The darkness was creeping in, and he was beginning to think that maybe he wasn't getting better at all. That maybe he'd never get better. Maybe this was how things would be, from now on. Maybe the darkness really would come for him, because it didn't seem like it would ever really let him go again, and Ianto swallowed against the swell of panic rising in his stomach. He... He couldn't do this. He knew that he didn't want to bother Sulu. That he had specifically refrained from calling him out of the blue for anything since he'd left to go back to his ship, instead waiting for Sulu himself to make the first contact, but. He. He really needed someone there with him. Someone real. Someone who understood and could chase the demons away like he promised he would. And so Ianto did the only thing that he could think of to help, and pulled out his phone to dial the number to Sulu's comm.
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It wasn't that he resented them bringing him back. He was so, so grateful for it, for them saving him. He just... He wished that he didn't have to put up with everything else on top of that. He wished that he were better. He should be better by then. But he wasn't, and... "I love it," he said. "I mean. It'll take some getting used to. I'm not the jewelry type, really, but. If that's what it takes to be here, like this, with you... Then that's fine with me. All of it," he said, raising his eyes to look at Sulu, pointedly.
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He would, of course, when Ianto was feeling better; give him some time to himself and time with Jack, but right now Jack had to work on getting Torchwood back into order, to start worrying about how that was going to go about - and Sulu would spend that time with Ianto, to keep him company so that Jack wasn't the only one Ianto had to lean on. It was the least he could do for Jack, who'd sacrificed his life for Ianto to come back, and it was his pleasure when it came to Ianto himself.
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"I definitely think I can handle being stuck with you," he said, moving to rest his head on the other man's shoulder. "You do make a rather excellent pillow, after all," he said, lightly. "Couldn't give something like that up, or anything. I suspect you're as stuck with me as I am with you, in short."
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Still. It got him moments like this, and he couldn't begrudge it that. He lifted his hand to Ianto's hair, knowing and fully abusing the fact that it helped him get to sleep, and complied gratefully to whatever shifts Ianto made in their position. It was so comfortable and warm in that minute, and Sulu momentarily considered what this would be like as a normal, every day occurrence. Pretty amazing, really, he decided, smiling and closing his eyes. It'd be pretty damned amazing.
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And it did. Work well, that was. Try as he might to keep himself awake, the combination of being warm and comfortable and safe and so very tired was pulling him further towards being asleep, and there really wasn't a reason not to let himself get dragged along for the ride. He sighed, happily, obviously making no sort of movement or statement to encourage Sulu to stop.
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He could feel Ianto drifting off, and he finally let himself begin to wind down himself. He was already tired from a long shift, and the bath had definitely helped get him sleepy. More than that, though - Ianto's presence, warm and alive against him, was enough to lull him into a sleepy, dozing state. He was sure that, no matter how long they had together, Sulu would probably never would be able to completely get over the fact that Ianto was alive and with him again. Sulu couldn't see anything wrong with that, though, and he didn't think he ever would.
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Couldn't help but hope for Sulu's sake as well as for his own that maybe tomorrow would be better. Couldn't help but hope that even if tomorrow wasn't better, that maybe the next day would. Or the next. Or that it would get better eventually. Because...it would. It had to. And if it didn't...it was like John said. He had two wonderful men that would walk through heaven and hell for him, and in a sense, already had. Regardless of what happened next, Ianto went to sleep grateful of what he had in that moment.