"Newer?" Ianto asks, his voice barely above a whisper as he does. Still doing his best to keep up the pretense but the press of John's body and that slow spread of a smile in combination with each other are doing funny things to his insides.
Now that he has his jacket open, Ianto snakes a hand in underneath it and around John's waist. Wrapping a hand around his lower back and bunching his fingers in the fabric of his shirt there. It helps to ground himself, a little. To remind himself that this is their cover, after all. Helps to keep himself from arching against the warm press of that body and the thigh shoved between his legs. He's pretty sure all pretense would be out the window if he let himself give in to that.
"What does it say?" he breathes, flicking his eyes around the room to be certain they still aren't gathering that much attention and then tipping his face forward into John's neck in turn.
"Not a lot, some old messages from Darma in the same style we get. You know, weathering the storm, helping the locals..."
He slips one hand around under Ianto's jacket to brace at the small of his back, mirroring the way fingers are bunched into his own shirt as he frowns at the panel. Behind them, someone finally focuses on what John is doing with his hand and frowns -- gesturing to another Nadril native and pointing it out.
John can feel that, despite his cool demeanour, his heart has begun to speed up as Ianto moves and touches him. Which... makes it a little trickier to hold his focus on the panel, something that makes entirely will based technopathy a challenge.
"Hang on," he says softly, "Let me just..."
You know. Try to. Do something else, maybe. Focus a little better.
John's hand at his back is almost too much, even though it's hardly anything at all. He shifts on his feet slightly, feeling almost too hot in the warm weather gear he's still mostly wearing, and he can only imagine the flush on his face in turn. He tips his head back to thunk against the wall again and swallows thickly, trying to keep a grip on himself.
Which is about the time he notices the pair of Nadril natives across the room. He is supposed to be keeping a lookout after all.
His fingers tightening convulsively in the back of John's shirt, he tips his head back against the side of the other man's head. "John," he hisses urgently into the other man's ear. "Hurry up. I think we've got an audience." Whatever he needs to do, just do it quickly. Hopefully if he's fast enough, perhaps their onlookers might lose interest. Maybe.
You're meant to be the sequins, Ianto! So be a distraction already. He moves his hand off the panel and grab for the collar of Ianto's jacket, turns and hauls both of them so John's back is pressed against the panel instead. So he can see the two approaching natives for a moment before his eyes fix on Ianto again.
"So," he begins casually, "I mentioned I've been in the Air Force since I was twenty, right?"
Right? He's pretty sure he did. Maybe not in those exact words but, he's pretty sure it was implied somewhere along the line. Right?
Ianto's breath catches roughly as John suddenly reverses their positions so that it's him pressed up against the other man instead of the other way around. He reaches to quickly brace himself with a hand against the wall beside the other man, his heart thumping so hard in his chest he wonders if John might be able to feel it himself.
"Maybe not in quite so many words," he replies, a little hoarsely. That's meant to be why you're here. He doesn't know what the Nadril are doing behind him, but he supposes this needs to be convincing too. His eyes flicking a little self-consciously behind them, he moves to slip an arm around John's neck. "Since you were twenty, really?"
"Yeah," John replies, and his pulse is racing just as quick now. This seemed like a good idea at the time but now some of his courage is dying a little. It feels less like a lighthearted game when he's aware people are actually watching, when there's a chance they're about to be arrested. "So, just so you're aware, I've not exactly done this with an audience before."
Since, air force, and you know -- the teen years weren't a good time in general what with his dad, and then there was his parent's divorce. Then his mother's death. Then his own divorce. So, the edges of panic starting to tug at him might well be related to all this. He feels a weird spike of shame and tries to shake it off, since there's nothing wrong with anything he's doing other than how shitty a distraction plan it may have been. He's not seen anyone judging anyone else in this place for who they flirt with so get over it Sheppard. Only that thought isn't helping them not get caught right now. Why did he think this would work? Way to go, another stupid plan getting everyone in trouble. Right. Come on, John, get your act together. Damn it. He takes a deep breath, then letting his eyes flit sideways one last time for a second he lets go of the last of his caution. Fuck it. He yanks Ianto forward into a kiss, lets his fingers drop from the collar of his jacket to clutch at the back of it -- to lift and cup the back of his neck to stop him pulling away too quickly.
Ianto had been trying to work out what he had meant by 'done this with an audience' -- the physicality in general? Pulled this sort of a trick before -- but no, that's supposed to have an audience. He flicks his eyes across the other man's face and he's meaning to ask him about it, when John tugs him forward into a kiss.
Oh, Ianto thinks absently, his fingers tightening convulsively where they rest against the other man's shoulders and his waist. The hand on the back of his head is nice but there's not a chance in hell he'd pull out of this earlier than he must, as startled as he is. He's only allowed himself to do this once before with John, after all, and there'd been a great bloody dragon bearing down on them. This time at least maybe they might enjoy a little.
With a small noise against the other man's lips, Ianto presses forward right back into him. He doesn't really need to play it up to their audience, considering how much he's wanted this. Well, perhaps not this specifically, but certainly this kiss, John instigating it, and the other man's arms around him, holding him as close and tight as they are.
John feels a spasm of heat as Ianto pushes into the kiss and, for a wild moment, forgets everything he was meant to be doing. His mind blanks and all he can seem to do is hold on, kissing Ianto with the kind of hurried desperation of someone who fears interruption at any moment. He feels a swirl of panic and hunger, feels his heart beating hard enough that his chest aches.
Then he's pulling back, gulping for air, and John's blurry focus is fixed on Ianto's expression until he senses another presence close by.
His eyes snap over to where two Nadril natives are standing awkwardly watching them. Right, move on. Away from the control panel.
"Do you mind?" John manages, and he's amazed his voice comes out even close to steady. "We were having a moment here."
As John pulls back from the kiss, Ianto has to fight to regain control of himself and not just follow him in for another. A warm sensation wells inside his chest and he meets the other man's gaze, feeling flushed and not entirely steady on his feet. John had been -- well, that certainly hadn't been just for show for John either. He struggles for a moment to try and interpret the expression on the other man's face before John is looking away and Ianto is forced to follow his gaze to their onlookers. Wishing it were possible to will them away without whatever awkward confrontation might be about to ensue.
Ianto, it should be noted, is very flushed at this point, but he supposes that should only add to their cover. Sequins, Ianto thinks to himself, and tries to imagine what Jack might have done in such a situation.
"I'm afraid there's only room for two," he quips, hoping that being so blunt might just embarrass them away.
In a public place, by a control panel. A private party for two. At the very least they've inspired awkwardness, which John will always accept over anger or a burning desire to do him physical harm.
"Why don't we just get a room," John suddenly offers. Better to eject yourself before you're ejected, right? He drops a hand to snag out for Ianto's, offers him his brightest smile. "Good idea, honey?"
Honey. John figures there's a good chance he'll live to regret that, but he's trying to sell the dynamic. It's the best he's got, John's not exactly an award winning actor here. Probably better not to drag out the encounter too long. Come on, Ianto, play along.
Honey? Ianto does his best not to let his surprise at that (or the questioning look he wants to give as well) show on his face, though it takes him a moment to collect himself enough to respond after the fact. Honey.
Sequins, Ianto, he thinks again, and he turns his hand in John's grasp to tangle their fingers together. He supposes that John has had enough of this display. And getting rid of their audience will be probably easier said than done, no matter how hard he might wish them away otherwise. At least if they leave with grace, they might be allowed back in to continue research later on.
"Probably for the best, love," Ianto replies, with a slow and easy smile, because two can play at this game. "I've got plans for you." He tilts his head coyly towards the exit. Escape?
John pushes off the wall and tries to get himself some breathing space, to move a little further away from both Ianto and the two natives.
"Sounds perfect!" he answers, and he's at least selling it tone-wise even if his body language has lost pretty much all he comfort it had with how close they were for a few moments there. Instead, John's shoulders are just raised enough to show tension -- his grip on Ianto's hand is deliberate rather than casual. To someone who knows him, he looks more like he's preparing to bolt than shut himself in a room for a romantic evening.
On the bright side, the natives may look uneasy but so long as they are leaving they seem to be accepting this answer.
Ianto can feel John's tension rise almost immediately and he can't help but wonder whether he did this. Whether it was something in the way he had responded -- love? -- that has him looking as though he'd be heading for the hills if not for his grip on John's hand and their still-present audience.
He tightens his grip on John's hand, squeezing his fingers before taking pity on the other man and ducking to pick up their bags. Shouldering his as he passes John's over in turn.
"Better get a move on, then," he says. Making certain to flash the other man a smile in what he hopes is a reassuring way as he steps forward to tug him away from the blessedly dark console and their audience of two.
"Yeah," John adds as he grabs up his bag and swings it onto his shoulder. "We'll get out of your hair."
It was a stupid idea. On reflection, John doesn't even know why he ever thought it would work. Or well, he does. He was thinking about teasing Ianto, about seeing him smile, about how Ianto said he was a secret agent. He was thinking about how Ianto wanted more from him, and how he should try. He didn't think about what he'd do if they were approached, if he had to sell it someone. He didn't think about what he'd do if he had to accept that people were, in fact, watching them.
Which are they still, now.
"Don't worry," he adds lightly, "we know the way." He flashes his best attempt at a smile, but it's strained around the edges.
John can feel his breaths coming a little short as he lets Ianto tug him along, feels as if the eyes of the entire place might be on him. They're probably not, but the crawling sensation of being watched is still there. He lets go of Ianto as they reach the exit, tugs out his sunglasses to ward off the glare of the snow and tries to ignore how his hands aren't quite as steady as he'd like.
Deep breaths, slow not short. Don't be stupid. Right. He shoves up his sunglasses again reflexively and shoulders his way out into the cold.
"Anyway," he begins, "so the logs on that thing go back about a hundred and fifty years."
Let's talk about logs, Ianto, rather than anything else.
Ianto lets John release his hand. Lets him take the lead as they make their way back out into the cold. He lets him take that step away, because he sees the way he's struggling, and even if he doesn't understand it, he understands that this is what he needs.
A little frown forms between Ianto's eyebrows as John speaks up -- about the logs. He does want to know more about them. He wants answers just as much as anything. But he wants answers from John even more.
"Did they say anything of note?" he forces himself to ask, reaching down to zip his jacket back up again now that they've stepped back outside. Not so much letting the rest of it go as setting it aside for the moment to allow himself to plan and regroup.
"Not as far as I got. I was skimming a little until we were interrupted. All mostly sounded pretty routine."
He zips up his own jacket again, adjusts his bag as he begins to move through the snow. Moving on and away from all the awkwardness, like maybe he can just pretend it didn't happen.
"But, I heard there's another ship here. An older one, further out."
Maybe that might hold more information? At least, more than Central did if it hasn't been wiped.
"We should probably check it out. Might be less busy, too, means we can dig without interruption."
"If it's older, it might have more on Magda in its logs," Ianto reasons aloud. "It's worth looking into, if it's still in any shape to have any data stored." If the Central was a hundred and fifty years old, then how old must this other ship be, after all? How long did such technology keep that kind of information stored? It's not like computers had been around for a hundred years for Ianto to be able to reference how it worked back on Earth, after all.
He falls silent, adjusting his pack and following after John for a few moments. It's about as long as he lasts before he realizes that if he doesn't say something, John's not going to himself either.
"John..." he starts, hesitantly, which probably alerts the other man to their change of topic even before the rest is out of his mouth. "Are you. Is everything okay?" It's a stupid question, as much because he knows it isn't as because he knows that the other man really isn't going to answer it, but he's got to start somewhere.
Or does Ianto want a longer break, or another drink first? John's fine with either, so long as the topic continues to neatly be anything but what Ianto wants to talk about.
Ianto lets out a soft sigh. Of course it wouldn't be that easy to talk to John. It never is, with anything like this. At least there aren't as many people here to listen in as there were to watch before.
"I'm fine," Ianto replies, throwing the other man's words right back at him. Reaching up to run a hand over his face and through his hair, trying to gather his thoughts.
"Look, I. Can see something bothered you back there, and I just want to know if it was something I said or did, that's all," he pushes gently. "Because it was pretty much the whole point of your idea to play along and you know. Act the part, especially if we were caught, so I. Think that actually went rather well, all things considered."
Oh look, it's the topic he doesn't want to talk about. He shoots Ianto an uneasy sideways glance.
"Don't worry about it. I just..." he hesitates, stumbles over a few thoughts and comes up short. He just what? "Guess they just caught me off guard. But! It did go well, so I'd say we call it a success and move on to the next part of the plan."
The bit where they stop talking about this and carry on walking to the other Natha ship here.
Guess they just caught me off guard. Somehow Ianto doesn't think that that's it. They'd gone into the whole endeavor expecting to get caught, after all. And John hadn't really hesitated leading into the kiss. Except to point out --
"You'd said you'd never done that with an audience before," Ianto hazards, throwing John a sideways glance in return. "Because of the Air Force." It's slow, but he's doing his best to puzzle the pieces back together. "Never... Kissed another man, you mean?"
Ianto's forehead furrows slightly and he turns his gaze to the walkway ahead of them. "Not with an audience," he starts cautiously, "but. How about without one? Tell me that wasn't..."
If you think I'm going to take you under my wing and show you the ways of the world, you are sadly mistaken. John had said it himself, but that hadn't meant. John has some experience with other men. Doesn't he?
Great, they're talking about this. John stops walking and shoots Ianto a wary look, half hidden by sunglasses.
"No," he manages, and he thinks of a hundred other things he could add but he doesn't even know where to begin. He doesn't want Ianto examining him like a puzzle to be solved but at the same time, he wants him to understand. He wants him to know this isn't -- personal. This isn't anything Ianto is doing wrong.
He also isn't sure he wants to have this conversation without a drink or, maybe three. It's too much. He can already feel his pulse beginning to spike again just from this much.
Ianto pulls up to a halt alongside the other man and meets his wary gaze.
"No?" he echoes, a little confused at the response and waiting for a clarification that never comes. "No, you haven't, or...?"
He understands that he's probably always going to need to push a little with John. He's pretty private, and he seems to be the sort of man who would rather not talk about any of this, if it could be helped. Be patient with him, John had asked, and Ianto is trying, he really is. He just can't-- He needs to know what he's up against. He needs to know where to draw the line himself, he supposes. If John won't lay it down on his own.
"No you're not the first guy I've kissed, Ianto, it's just never --"
Never been more than a hurried encounter. Never meant anything. Never been something he's committed to, especially not with people watching. He squares his shoulders a little, as if bracing himself for some kind of fight, and tries to draw on whatever reserve of calm he can find. Slower breaths, deeper breaths, push down on the panic.
"Listen, I don't know about you but it's a little early in the day to start all this for me."
To start all this. Ianto glances away, the words biting a little harder than maybe John had intended them to. Or maybe he had. He's the one 'starting' it, after all. He's the one who can't seem to leave it well enough alone, the way that John would hope.
"Yeah, alright," he replies. Point taken. He's not really looking to stand there dragging this out or clawing the information out of him to get his answers. That just seems to be how it works.
He slips the other strap of his bag across his shoulder and hooks his fingers into it. Not quite meeting the other man's eyes as he continues, "Do you know where this other ship is, then?" This is the neutral ground that John had wanted after all, isn't it?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
for impavid;
"Newer?" Ianto asks, his voice barely above a whisper as he does. Still doing his best to keep up the pretense but the press of John's body and that slow spread of a smile in combination with each other are doing funny things to his insides.
Now that he has his jacket open, Ianto snakes a hand in underneath it and around John's waist. Wrapping a hand around his lower back and bunching his fingers in the fabric of his shirt there. It helps to ground himself, a little. To remind himself that this is their cover, after all. Helps to keep himself from arching against the warm press of that body and the thigh shoved between his legs. He's pretty sure all pretense would be out the window if he let himself give in to that.
"What does it say?" he breathes, flicking his eyes around the room to be certain they still aren't gathering that much attention and then tipping his face forward into John's neck in turn.
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He slips one hand around under Ianto's jacket to brace at the small of his back, mirroring the way fingers are bunched into his own shirt as he frowns at the panel. Behind them, someone finally focuses on what John is doing with his hand and frowns -- gesturing to another Nadril native and pointing it out.
John can feel that, despite his cool demeanour, his heart has begun to speed up as Ianto moves and touches him. Which... makes it a little trickier to hold his focus on the panel, something that makes entirely will based technopathy a challenge.
"Hang on," he says softly, "Let me just..."
You know. Try to. Do something else, maybe. Focus a little better.
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Which is about the time he notices the pair of Nadril natives across the room. He is supposed to be keeping a lookout after all.
His fingers tightening convulsively in the back of John's shirt, he tips his head back against the side of the other man's head. "John," he hisses urgently into the other man's ear. "Hurry up. I think we've got an audience." Whatever he needs to do, just do it quickly. Hopefully if he's fast enough, perhaps their onlookers might lose interest. Maybe.
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You're meant to be the sequins, Ianto! So be a distraction already. He moves his hand off the panel and grab for the collar of Ianto's jacket, turns and hauls both of them so John's back is pressed against the panel instead. So he can see the two approaching natives for a moment before his eyes fix on Ianto again.
"So," he begins casually, "I mentioned I've been in the Air Force since I was twenty, right?"
Right? He's pretty sure he did. Maybe not in those exact words but, he's pretty sure it was implied somewhere along the line. Right?
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Ianto's breath catches roughly as John suddenly reverses their positions so that it's him pressed up against the other man instead of the other way around. He reaches to quickly brace himself with a hand against the wall beside the other man, his heart thumping so hard in his chest he wonders if John might be able to feel it himself.
"Maybe not in quite so many words," he replies, a little hoarsely. That's meant to be why you're here. He doesn't know what the Nadril are doing behind him, but he supposes this needs to be convincing too. His eyes flicking a little self-consciously behind them, he moves to slip an arm around John's neck. "Since you were twenty, really?"
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Since, air force, and you know -- the teen years weren't a good time in general what with his dad, and then there was his parent's divorce. Then his mother's death. Then his own divorce. So, the edges of panic starting to tug at him might well be related to all this. He feels a weird spike of shame and tries to shake it off, since there's nothing wrong with anything he's doing other than how shitty a distraction plan it may have been. He's not seen anyone judging anyone else in this place for who they flirt with so get over it Sheppard. Only that thought isn't helping them not get caught right now. Why did he think this would work? Way to go, another stupid plan getting everyone in trouble. Right. Come on, John, get your act together. Damn it. He takes a deep breath, then letting his eyes flit sideways one last time for a second he lets go of the last of his caution. Fuck it. He yanks Ianto forward into a kiss, lets his fingers drop from the collar of his jacket to clutch at the back of it -- to lift and cup the back of his neck to stop him pulling away too quickly.
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Oh, Ianto thinks absently, his fingers tightening convulsively where they rest against the other man's shoulders and his waist. The hand on the back of his head is nice but there's not a chance in hell he'd pull out of this earlier than he must, as startled as he is. He's only allowed himself to do this once before with John, after all, and there'd been a great bloody dragon bearing down on them. This time at least maybe they might enjoy a little.
With a small noise against the other man's lips, Ianto presses forward right back into him. He doesn't really need to play it up to their audience, considering how much he's wanted this. Well, perhaps not this specifically, but certainly this kiss, John instigating it, and the other man's arms around him, holding him as close and tight as they are.
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Then he's pulling back, gulping for air, and John's blurry focus is fixed on Ianto's expression until he senses another presence close by.
His eyes snap over to where two Nadril natives are standing awkwardly watching them. Right, move on. Away from the control panel.
"Do you mind?" John manages, and he's amazed his voice comes out even close to steady. "We were having a moment here."
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Ianto, it should be noted, is very flushed at this point, but he supposes that should only add to their cover. Sequins, Ianto thinks to himself, and tries to imagine what Jack might have done in such a situation.
"I'm afraid there's only room for two," he quips, hoping that being so blunt might just embarrass them away.
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In a public place, by a control panel. A private party for two. At the very least they've inspired awkwardness, which John will always accept over anger or a burning desire to do him physical harm.
"Why don't we just get a room," John suddenly offers. Better to eject yourself before you're ejected, right? He drops a hand to snag out for Ianto's, offers him his brightest smile. "Good idea, honey?"
Honey. John figures there's a good chance he'll live to regret that, but he's trying to sell the dynamic. It's the best he's got, John's not exactly an award winning actor here. Probably better not to drag out the encounter too long. Come on, Ianto, play along.
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Sequins, Ianto, he thinks again, and he turns his hand in John's grasp to tangle their fingers together. He supposes that John has had enough of this display. And getting rid of their audience will be probably easier said than done, no matter how hard he might wish them away otherwise. At least if they leave with grace, they might be allowed back in to continue research later on.
"Probably for the best, love," Ianto replies, with a slow and easy smile, because two can play at this game. "I've got plans for you." He tilts his head coyly towards the exit. Escape?
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Plans?
John pushes off the wall and tries to get himself some breathing space, to move a little further away from both Ianto and the two natives.
"Sounds perfect!" he answers, and he's at least selling it tone-wise even if his body language has lost pretty much all he comfort it had with how close they were for a few moments there. Instead, John's shoulders are just raised enough to show tension -- his grip on Ianto's hand is deliberate rather than casual. To someone who knows him, he looks more like he's preparing to bolt than shut himself in a room for a romantic evening.
On the bright side, the natives may look uneasy but so long as they are leaving they seem to be accepting this answer.
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He tightens his grip on John's hand, squeezing his fingers before taking pity on the other man and ducking to pick up their bags. Shouldering his as he passes John's over in turn.
"Better get a move on, then," he says. Making certain to flash the other man a smile in what he hopes is a reassuring way as he steps forward to tug him away from the blessedly dark console and their audience of two.
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It was a stupid idea. On reflection, John doesn't even know why he ever thought it would work. Or well, he does. He was thinking about teasing Ianto, about seeing him smile, about how Ianto said he was a secret agent. He was thinking about how Ianto wanted more from him, and how he should try. He didn't think about what he'd do if they were approached, if he had to sell it someone. He didn't think about what he'd do if he had to accept that people were, in fact, watching them.
Which are they still, now.
"Don't worry," he adds lightly, "we know the way." He flashes his best attempt at a smile, but it's strained around the edges.
John can feel his breaths coming a little short as he lets Ianto tug him along, feels as if the eyes of the entire place might be on him. They're probably not, but the crawling sensation of being watched is still there. He lets go of Ianto as they reach the exit, tugs out his sunglasses to ward off the glare of the snow and tries to ignore how his hands aren't quite as steady as he'd like.
Deep breaths, slow not short. Don't be stupid. Right. He shoves up his sunglasses again reflexively and shoulders his way out into the cold.
"Anyway," he begins, "so the logs on that thing go back about a hundred and fifty years."
Let's talk about logs, Ianto, rather than anything else.
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A little frown forms between Ianto's eyebrows as John speaks up -- about the logs. He does want to know more about them. He wants answers just as much as anything. But he wants answers from John even more.
"Did they say anything of note?" he forces himself to ask, reaching down to zip his jacket back up again now that they've stepped back outside. Not so much letting the rest of it go as setting it aside for the moment to allow himself to plan and regroup.
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He zips up his own jacket again, adjusts his bag as he begins to move through the snow. Moving on and away from all the awkwardness, like maybe he can just pretend it didn't happen.
"But, I heard there's another ship here. An older one, further out."
Maybe that might hold more information? At least, more than Central did if it hasn't been wiped.
"We should probably check it out. Might be less busy, too, means we can dig without interruption."
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He falls silent, adjusting his pack and following after John for a few moments. It's about as long as he lasts before he realizes that if he doesn't say something, John's not going to himself either.
"John..." he starts, hesitantly, which probably alerts the other man to their change of topic even before the rest is out of his mouth. "Are you. Is everything okay?" It's a stupid question, as much because he knows it isn't as because he knows that the other man really isn't going to answer it, but he's got to start somewhere.
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The older Natha ship, that is.
"You warmed up enough to walk out now?"
Or does Ianto want a longer break, or another drink first? John's fine with either, so long as the topic continues to neatly be anything but what Ianto wants to talk about.
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"I'm fine," Ianto replies, throwing the other man's words right back at him. Reaching up to run a hand over his face and through his hair, trying to gather his thoughts.
"Look, I. Can see something bothered you back there, and I just want to know if it was something I said or did, that's all," he pushes gently. "Because it was pretty much the whole point of your idea to play along and you know. Act the part, especially if we were caught, so I. Think that actually went rather well, all things considered."
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"Don't worry about it. I just..." he hesitates, stumbles over a few thoughts and comes up short. He just what? "Guess they just caught me off guard. But! It did go well, so I'd say we call it a success and move on to the next part of the plan."
The bit where they stop talking about this and carry on walking to the other Natha ship here.
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"You'd said you'd never done that with an audience before," Ianto hazards, throwing John a sideways glance in return. "Because of the Air Force." It's slow, but he's doing his best to puzzle the pieces back together. "Never... Kissed another man, you mean?"
Ianto's forehead furrows slightly and he turns his gaze to the walkway ahead of them. "Not with an audience," he starts cautiously, "but. How about without one? Tell me that wasn't..."
If you think I'm going to take you under my wing and show you the ways of the world, you are sadly mistaken. John had said it himself, but that hadn't meant. John has some experience with other men. Doesn't he?
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"No," he manages, and he thinks of a hundred other things he could add but he doesn't even know where to begin. He doesn't want Ianto examining him like a puzzle to be solved but at the same time, he wants him to understand. He wants him to know this isn't -- personal. This isn't anything Ianto is doing wrong.
He also isn't sure he wants to have this conversation without a drink or, maybe three. It's too much. He can already feel his pulse beginning to spike again just from this much.
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"No?" he echoes, a little confused at the response and waiting for a clarification that never comes. "No, you haven't, or...?"
He understands that he's probably always going to need to push a little with John. He's pretty private, and he seems to be the sort of man who would rather not talk about any of this, if it could be helped. Be patient with him, John had asked, and Ianto is trying, he really is. He just can't-- He needs to know what he's up against. He needs to know where to draw the line himself, he supposes. If John won't lay it down on his own.
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Never been more than a hurried encounter. Never meant anything. Never been something he's committed to, especially not with people watching. He squares his shoulders a little, as if bracing himself for some kind of fight, and tries to draw on whatever reserve of calm he can find. Slower breaths, deeper breaths, push down on the panic.
"Listen, I don't know about you but it's a little early in the day to start all this for me."
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"Yeah, alright," he replies. Point taken. He's not really looking to stand there dragging this out or clawing the information out of him to get his answers. That just seems to be how it works.
He slips the other strap of his bag across his shoulder and hooks his fingers into it. Not quite meeting the other man's eyes as he continues, "Do you know where this other ship is, then?" This is the neutral ground that John had wanted after all, isn't it?
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i'm sorry for all the edits...
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