torchwoodteaboy | [RL WITH SULU]

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[RL WITH SULU]

It'd been a week. A week since that first day that he'd come back from the hospital, and Sulu had had to help him around his flat. A week, most of which he'd spent in a sort of semi-conscious, fatigued and weary state, shuffling about trying to get the necessary things done, but only just succeeding. As Ianto sat on the edge of his bed, just having gotten up from what had been his second nap of the day, and not feeling any better after having taken it, the world spinning around him from having sat up too fast, even though he'd paced himself and been extra careful not to, Ianto had the sinking feeling that in that whole week, he hadn't gotten better at all. Sulu had stuck around until his leave had been up, like he said he would, and then once he'd left, Jack had popped in a few times during the day to help out with chores (he was surprisingly good at doing the dishes and the laundry) and then at night to lie with him (even if Jack didn't sleep and Ianto felt like he was wasting the other man's time). And yet. In that whole week, nothing had changed. Nothing had gotten better. And Ianto was getting sick and tired of being sick and tired, and Jack was great to have around, but. He didn't really understand what it was like to be ill, and sometimes that wore on Ianto even more than not having him around at all.

And now, as the sun was setting, and Jack was off on a sudden call to London, Gwen doing god knows what with Rhys, Ianto wasn't about to disturb their peace, it was all starting to get at Ianto. The darkness was creeping in, and he was beginning to think that maybe he wasn't getting better at all. That maybe he'd never get better. Maybe this was how things would be, from now on. Maybe the darkness really would come for him, because it didn't seem like it would ever really let him go again, and Ianto swallowed against the swell of panic rising in his stomach. He... He couldn't do this. He knew that he didn't want to bother Sulu. That he had specifically refrained from calling him out of the blue for anything since he'd left to go back to his ship, instead waiting for Sulu himself to make the first contact, but. He. He really needed someone there with him. Someone real. Someone who understood and could chase the demons away like he promised he would. And so Ianto did the only thing that he could think of to help, and pulled out his phone to dial the number to Sulu's comm.

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"Pavel practically gloats about how he can handle Siberian winters," Sulu said to hide the fact that, frankly, Ianto's standards for cold had to be lower than normal, given the fact that he was now cold so often. As Ianto slid close to him, Sulu wrapped his arms around him, one around his side and the other around his shoulders, holding him close and pressing his lips to his forehead.

"I'll gladly wake you up, don't worry," Sulu said, smiling against his forehead. "Hell, I can try making you breakfast, first, if you want. I'm... not sure what time it'll be, though, so that might not be the best idea I've ever had. Don't worry, though, I won't leave without my kiss goodbye."

Ianto smiled at Sulu's words, shifting to place a hand on Sulu's chest, his other resting lightly on his side. "If you think you can make something without burning the house down, you're more than welcome to try. Regardless of what time it is. I... I might even be looking forward to it, now," he said, laughing a little.

That is...if he was still feeling this good when Sulu's alarm woke him up. Ianto didn't really know for sure. He wanted to believe that he would, that the bath was all he'd needed to jumpstart everything, but. He'd taken baths before then, and granted, they had probably been colder than the one he'd taken most recently, their effects had worn off after a while too. He couldn't guarantee that he'd be up for breakfast the next morning, although he'd try his hardest to be. He just wanted things to be nice and normal like they were in that moment.

"You don't have to," he said, realizing he'd paused there. "Regardless, though, I'm going to keep you to your word on that kiss goodbye. And maybe even..." He trailed off, smirking, before he moved his hand from Sulu's cheek, tilting his head back to look at Sulu. "...maybe I could get a kiss goodnight as well?"

Sulu was banking on the fact that Ianto would feel better. He didn't know how he was going to be able to take it, if Ianto woke up feeling miserable again. It was going so well... But he knew that he would take it as smoothly as he could, no matter what happened. If he didn't feel well, Sulu hoped that there would be enough time for them to have another bath, to help him get warm again. And if that wasn't possible, then he could at least make him something to eat, so Ianto wouldn't have to make the trek downstairs and then make food for himself.

Smiling, he tilted his head down. "Since you asked so nicely," he murmured, pressing his lips against Ianto's. This was something that he loved about their time together; the moments where he could just kiss Ianto and forget about all the things that were bothering him.

Ianto kissed Sulu back, smiling into it because really, at that moment, he could almost forget that there was anything wrong with the situation at all. He could almost forget that he'd spent the day spiraling into a downwards cycle that culminated in a semi-breakdown and hours of sitting out in the doorway to his back garden, just staring out into the darkness. He could almost forget why he needed to have a bath in the first place, that anything had ever been wrong with him. If only it weren't for the amulet hung around his neck, its solid presence alerting him to it all every time he noticed it there.

Ianto broke their kiss after a moment, moving to duck his head against Sulu's chest, curling up against the other man's side. "...thank you," he said, after a moment of silence. "For...y'know. Coming down tonight. I. I needed this. Rather badly." Not just the presence of someone else, or even for Sulu's presence in particular. He needed some time to feel...well, normal again. Even if it was only temporary. It had been getting to him, being cold and tired and ill. And well...he was still tired, but the other two were gone at the moment, and it was so much of a relief, he could cry. If he hadn't done enough of that already that day, that was.

"I'll always come when you call," Sulu said softly, resting his chin against the crown of Ianto's head. "I had to wait this time, but I'll fix that." And he would. He'd talk to Jim and arrange a different schedule, pull as many favors as he had - whatever it took, Sulu would do it. He closed his eyes, taking a slow, calming breath before letting it out in a contented sigh.

"Really, though," he added, "I want to be with you. None of this is a hassle for me, so I never want you to think otherwise, okay?" He ran his one hand up Ianto's back, the other rubbing Ianto's shoulders, staying clear of the leather strap. He almost wanted to touch it, but at the same time, he had no idea how Ianto would react - how it would react. He'd brushed against the strap before, but actually touching it... no. He didn't want to risk it.

Ianto noticed that Sulu hadn't really so much as gone near the amulet since he'd gotten home, not really. Sure, he'd brushed against the strap a couple of times, and having Ianto pressed up against him so often, he'd probably come into contact with the amulet itself too, but. Actually going out of his way to even so much as acknowledge the thing... Sulu really hadn't done that. And he didn't blame him, really. It unnerved him a little too, but he had it hanging around his neck, so he had to acknowledge it, at the very least.

He knew that he'd told Sulu that he would probably be out as soon as he got comfortable, but. He wasn't quite there, yet. Just lying down wasn't enough, he was going to have to get there mentally again. Which meant talking. So. Might as well broach the subject that he could tell was on both of their minds. "...I don't think I'll be able to take it off, y'know," he said, quietly. "The amulet. I... I don't know if..." he trailed off, because they both knew why. "It's alright, though. You don't need to avoid it. I mean, Jack's had a look at it before, and nothing happened then, so..."

Sulu frowned to himself, realizing that he had been a bit more obvious about not touching the amulet than even he had realized. "I know," he responded in the same quiet tone Ianto was using. "I didn't touch it much when it was with us and not you, is all." He'd been worried, even then, that if he touched it something awful would happen.

With a slow shift of his arm, he brought his hand between them and wrapped it lightly around the amulet, feeling the weight. It wasn't... bad, really - he knew that it was what had brought Ianto back to life and, for all they knew, what was keeping him going - but the very presence of it was a reminder of what had happened. "It's nice, though," he said finally, a smile in his voice, "At least it's not really gaudy or huge. That'd be a little harder to deal with. I... I hope you don't dislike it." But the way he said it - he wasn't really talking about just the amulet. He was talking about all of it; the resurrection, the fact that he was still feeling ill, the fact that Jack and Sulu had brought him back without knowing what he'd really want. It was a silly fear, he knew, but it was still one that plagued him from time to time.

Ianto smiled at the idea of some other sorts of amulets he could be stuck with. He ducked his head to look at the one hanging around his neck, the one he owed his life to, cupped in Sulu's hand. He did catch the tone of the question there, though. Understood that Sulu wasn't asking just about the amulet, but about the situation in general. And it took him a moment to formulate an answer to it.

It wasn't that he resented them bringing him back. He was so, so grateful for it, for them saving him. He just... He wished that he didn't have to put up with everything else on top of that. He wished that he were better. He should be better by then. But he wasn't, and... "I love it," he said. "I mean. It'll take some getting used to. I'm not the jewelry type, really, but. If that's what it takes to be here, like this, with you... Then that's fine with me. All of it," he said, raising his eyes to look at Sulu, pointedly.

Sulu smiled at that, feeling some more of the weight that had been bothering him all this time ease up. "Good," he said, letting go of the amulet to draw Ianto's chin up, kissing him briefly. "Because I'm not going anywhere, so you're sort of stuck with me." After all of this, Sulu wasn't going to be able to pull himself away from Ianto, really.

He would, of course, when Ianto was feeling better; give him some time to himself and time with Jack, but right now Jack had to work on getting Torchwood back into order, to start worrying about how that was going to go about - and Sulu would spend that time with Ianto, to keep him company so that Jack wasn't the only one Ianto had to lean on. It was the least he could do for Jack, who'd sacrificed his life for Ianto to come back, and it was his pleasure when it came to Ianto himself.

Ianto smiled back, smiled into the kiss and at Sulu when he pulled back. "I think I can handle being stuck with you," he said, pulling himself closer to the other man, nudging the pair of them into the position that they were the first night he'd gotten back from the hospital again. He liked that, lying there curled against Sulu's side, head on his shoulder, hand across his chest. Especially under the blankets, it was... It made him feel at home. At home in his flat in a way that he rarely felt otherwise. Which was an odd thought, but there it was, floating in the edge of his mind. Definitely not something he could share quite yet, but. Something he was beginning to come to terms with.

"I definitely think I can handle being stuck with you," he said, moving to rest his head on the other man's shoulder. "You do make a rather excellent pillow, after all," he said, lightly. "Couldn't give something like that up, or anything. I suspect you're as stuck with me as I am with you, in short."

"I like to be useful," Sulu said lightly, moving his hand back to Ianto's shoulders, rubbing them slowly and not trying to avoid the strap this time. Really, the amulet wasn't that bad. He hadn't been lying when he said it was at least a nice enough thing and not too big; it was just unnerving, to have something with that much power that close to either of them.

Still. It got him moments like this, and he couldn't begrudge it that. He lifted his hand to Ianto's hair, knowing and fully abusing the fact that it helped him get to sleep, and complied gratefully to whatever shifts Ianto made in their position. It was so comfortable and warm in that minute, and Sulu momentarily considered what this would be like as a normal, every day occurrence. Pretty amazing, really, he decided, smiling and closing his eyes. It'd be pretty damned amazing.

Ianto's eyes drooped shut, lulled further toward the state of unconsciousness by Sulu's hand in his hair. He shifted, getting even more comfortable, moving his hand to lay flat on Sulu's chest, above his heart. "That's a dirty trick you're playing there," he mumbled, suddenly a lot more tired than he'd been a second ago. "That shouldn't work nearly as well as it does, you know. I feel like I should be putting up some sort of protest. See that you're not just using this to your advantage, and all."

And it did. Work well, that was. Try as he might to keep himself awake, the combination of being warm and comfortable and safe and so very tired was pulling him further towards being asleep, and there really wasn't a reason not to let himself get dragged along for the ride. He sighed, happily, obviously making no sort of movement or statement to encourage Sulu to stop.

"It's as much for your benefit as it is mine," Sulu said softly, laughing a little. "I want you to get a good night's rest, after all." He made no effort to move his hand from Ianto's hair; it was as much a comfort to him as it was to Ianto, after all. The very action of running his hand through Ianto's hair calmed him down, and he had to keep himself from making a comparison between the other man and a cat.

He could feel Ianto drifting off, and he finally let himself begin to wind down himself. He was already tired from a long shift, and the bath had definitely helped get him sleepy. More than that, though - Ianto's presence, warm and alive against him, was enough to lull him into a sleepy, dozing state. He was sure that, no matter how long they had together, Sulu would probably never would be able to completely get over the fact that Ianto was alive and with him again. Sulu couldn't see anything wrong with that, though, and he didn't think he ever would.

Ianto couldn't argue with the idea of a good night's rest. Maybe now that he was finally warm again, he'd actually be able to get one. Get enough rest and wake up the next day feeling better than he'd ever woken before. ...he knew that that was just wishful thinking, but as he drifted off to sleep, Sulu's presence keeping him warm and safe, his hand in his hair relaxing him, and the rising and falling of his chest under his head and his hand more comforting than anything could be in that moment, he couldn't help but hope.

Couldn't help but hope for Sulu's sake as well as for his own that maybe tomorrow would be better. Couldn't help but hope that even if tomorrow wasn't better, that maybe the next day would. Or the next. Or that it would get better eventually. Because...it would. It had to. And if it didn't...it was like John said. He had two wonderful men that would walk through heaven and hell for him, and in a sense, already had. Regardless of what happened next, Ianto went to sleep grateful of what he had in that moment.

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[RL WITH SULU]

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