torchwoodteaboy | [RL WITH SULU]

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[RL WITH SULU]

Ianto lay in his bed upstairs, a book laying face down on his chest. He had been trying to read for the better part of an hour, but had found himself drifting more often than not, and on the third read-through of the same page he'd given up and just put it down. And he'd been drifting since then as well, not really awake enough to be doing anything other than just lying there, not really tired enough to really go to sleep. More and more each day, while no one else was around, he found himself in this sort of a state, a sort of standby mode that was disturbing in the fact that it didn't really bother him. That nothing really bothered him anymore, because he really couldn't dredge up enough energy to be bothered about it.

He brought a hand up to his face, running it across his eyes. He...he couldn't keep lying to himself like this. At first he thought it had simply been his imagination, that things were just progressing slowly, that was all. For all that he had worried that things wouldn't get better, he had hoped that they would, Sulu continuously helping him be optimistic in that fact, and so the fact that he was going backwards, now, getting worse, it... It was crushing. And he had no idea what he was going to do about it. No idea. The even worse fact of the matter was that he was slowly convincing himself that there was nothing to do about it. That he'd never get better. That it was too late, and he couldn't do anything about it now even if he tried. Which was the mindset he kept spiraling down and dragging himself out of as it approached that time when Sulu would be making his appearance for the night.

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Jack turned his head to look at Sulu as he spoke, but he whirled on Ianto before Sulu'd even finished, almost not hearing the latter half of what the other man was saying because of what the first few words had been. "You knew that you'd been unsteady on your feet, and you were trying to go down the stairs?" he asked, his voice starting to fill with anger.

Ianto bit his lip. "I... I didn't think it would get worse," he said quietly.

Jack shook his head in disbelief. "All of those times I came in to check up on you, ask you how you were doing. You lied. You lied every single time."

Ianto wanted nothing more than to just sink back in his chair and vanish into thin air. "...I didn't want to worry you," he said. "I've been ill a lot, recently. I. In case this was the end, I. I didn't want you to be upset about what was happening to me."

"...you're feeling like you're going to pass out every time you stand up, and you didn't tell us?" Jack spat at Ianto, the fear that he had for the fact that this was bad, this was really bad, morphing into an intense rage. "What else are you keeping from us, Ianto?!" he raged.

Ianto shook his head. "I...what? I'm not..."

Jack stood up abruptly, his chair scraping loudly against the floor. "Like hell I believe that, Ianto, I know you!" He shook his head, almost forgetting that Sulu was there with them at all. "You're using me, Ianto! You're using me again! And this time Lisa's not around as a convenient scapegoat for your lying, now is she?!"

Ianto took in a quick breath, the flippant mention of her name cutting deep. "You leave her out of his, Jack!" he said, sharply.

When Jack stood, Sulu shifted as though he might get up as well, but he stayed seated. There was that name again, Lisa. He knew only the vaguest things when it came to whoever Lisa was, and he was more and more sure with every passing mention that he didn't want to know. Not now, definitely. And he also could tell that this wasn't the same as that situation, whatever it had been, and that it wasn't worry but anger that was making Jack bring her up.

That wasn't going to help. And what was more - Jack's exclamation, that Ianto was using him, just didn't make sense. Though he found himself wondering, what if Ianto was hiding more from them, what if there was more he wasn't telling them - he couldn't think like that. He couldn't imagine Ianto keeping anything else, not after how upset he'd been about this situation itself and how guilty he felt. Sulu was far too optimistic to think anything less of the other man.

"Jack," Sulu said instead, tone firm, "He's not lying about anything else. This is all he has to lie about. He hasn't even been outside, how could he have anything else to hide?" Sulu realized that was harsh, and maybe it would sting for Ianto, but he couldn't help it. It was the truth. He could only hope it was all true, even the part about him not hiding anything else. "I know you're pissed, believe me, but don't lash out in anger."

"Like hell I'm just going to let this slide, Sulu!" Jack exclaimed, turning his anger on the other man there as well. "He's keeping himself from us! He's hiding and thinking about how this is going to be the end, and I'm supposed to just let it slide?! He knows that we would do anything for him, that we would find any sort of a cure to keep him here. Why the hell would you keep us from helping you, Ianto?" He turned, banging a fist against the wall. "After all this time, I thought that you'd changed. That you'd gotten more honest with me. But you were just conning me the whole way, weren't you?"

"Jack, please," Ianto said. "I... No. It's not like that. I. I mean, I lied to you about this, but. Not. Only this, I... I swear."

"Give me one good reason why I should believe you, Ianto," Jack said. "Give me one good reason why you would hide something like this from us."

"I..." Ianto stuttered. "I didn't want to worry you."

"So you were going to let yourself die instead?" Jack spat. "God, Ianto. I know you're sick, but you're not stupid. Why in the hell did you even think that keeping this from us would have been a good idea? You... Don't you even care about us at all? About me? Or was that a lie, too...?"

"Jack," Ianto ground out, chewing his lip, his eyebrows furrowing as Jack's words cut deep. "You're... You're not being fair."

"I'm not being fair?!" Jack exclaimed. "You weren't even going to tell us, were you?! You were just going to let it all happen, and then if we came here to find you dead again, at least we had this one month where we were fooled into thinking that everything was going to be okay. Is that what you thought? Is it?!"

"Jack," Sulu said sharply, pushing his own chair out, standing himself now because yes, Ianto had messed up, he'd screwed up badly and honestly Sulu agreed with a lot of what Jack was saying, but screaming at him wasn't going to help and most importantly, Ianto wasn't pretending to care about either of them. He had been doing the one thing he thought would be best for them. It hadn't been, and it showed how naive Ianto really was when it came to this sort of thing, but still, it hadn't been done out of spite.

The fact was that Ianto was sick and they needed to fix it. He had known Jack wouldn't be able to hold back from saying anything to Ianto, but he had hoped the other man would have held back from lashing out. "Pride and fear can keep you from telling people all sorts of things, even if they're people you care about, and while I am in all honesty on your side here, yelling at him isn't going to help." In fact, it might make things worse. He didn't want that, and he knew Jack didn't either.

Ianto shrunk into his chair as much as he could, especially when Sulu admitted to agreeing with Jack on the matter at hand. Sure, he knew that Sulu wasn't happy with him, but when he agreed with Jack aloud, it definitely was a lot worse than just knowing, because now he had audible proof of it all. Still, it was Ianto's turn to fall quiet as Jack raged it out.

"Well, what do you think is going to help, then, hm?" he asked, turning to pin his narrowed eyes on Sulu. "What am I supposed to do in a situation like this? I'd give up anything to keep him alive, and he's just going to throw that away because he doesn't want me to be upset about him? How am I supposed to react? Because from the way I see it, that's something that I have a right to be angry about. And if you really do feel the same way, then don't tell me that you aren't angry too."

He turned on Ianto. "What if you'd passed out on the stairs? What if we came back and found you gone because of something involved in this? Do you really think that that would be the better option, rather than just letting us know? Do you really think that?"

Ianto stayed quiet for a moment, lowering his eyes to the mug of tea on the table in front of him that he desperately wished he could just drink and make all of this bad stuff go away. "...no," he said, after a moment, honestly. "I... I don't. I just," he said, raising his head to look at both of them, "I didn't know how to tell you..."

Edited 2010-12-06 09:52 (UTC)

"I am angry," Sulu snapped, "Of course I'm angry, and I'm hurt, but more than that I want to help Ianto." He wasn't above shouting, but he held back as he spoke to Jack because shouting didn't get your point across. The more he listened to Jack, the more upset he felt, and he'd promised he would wait, and so damn it, he would wait.

Sulu looked at Ianto as he spoke, his expression softening and, all right, Ianto was the one person in the universe Sulu couldn't imagine being angry at for long. He knew he was still upset and that it'd come back as soon as he looked away from the other man, but... it was hard to want to take it out on him. He looked back at Jack and gestured slightly, as if he could point to the entire situation they'd found themselves in.

"There's nothing I wouldn't do to help Ianto, either, Jack." He realized his voice was tight, and he forced himself to take a breath before continuing, looking back to Ianto, unable to keep all of the distress he was feeling out of his expression. "And you know that - we'd both do anything for you."

Looking at Jack once again, he said, abandoning all pretense of being good for the sake of being good, "I'm asking you to not yell because I don't know what'll happen if this turns into a real fight, and I don't want to deal with it on top of all this bullshit. " For all they knew, getting yelled at could upset Ianto to the point where he died from the shock alone. Not to mention, if Sulu kept struggling to hold everything in, it could come to blows.

Jack was angry. And when Jack got angry, it became very hard for anyone to rationalize with him. And it was true, he didn't want to hurt Ianto, not really, he didn't want to make things worse. But... "I can't just stand back and let you do this to yourself," he said, staring down at Ianto, looking every bit as hurt and betrayed by the fact that he hadn't been trusted with this information before then as he felt. "Every time, Ianto, you do this every single time! What do I have to do, what do either of us have to do in order for you to trust us? Because hell, I'll do it. I'll do it right now if you want me to. Why is it so difficult for you to get that?"

Ianto shut his eyes, taking in a shaky breath. "I... I don't know, Jack. I do trust you, though. I trust both of you. More than anyone. But, I..." He shook his head. "I... I don't know."

A muscle in Jack's jaw clenched, and his breathing picked up. He wanted to yell, he wanted to scream and rage at the other man, and ask him what the hell he thought he was doing, toying with him like that. But the fact of the matter was that he agreed with Sulu, at least to some extent. He didn't know what would happen if he made Ianto upset enough. So...he did the only thing he could think of.

"Fine," he said, tightly, angrily. "Fine. If... If that's how it's going to be, then fine." He took a step back from the table. "I can't do this. You can't keep doing this. Call me when you've figured it out. Then we'll talk." He turned on his heel and headed out towards the hallway.

"Jack!" Ianto called out, sounding every bit as upset with how things were going as he was.

Sulu ran his hands over his face as Jack left the kitchen, groaning quietly in frustration. He'd known this would be hard for Jack and really, he didn't think he was completely out of line here, but all the same, this wasn't how you solved problems like this. No wonder their communication was such crap, he thought.

He put his hand on Ianto's shoulder briefly, giving it a squeeze. "I'm going to go talk to him. Don't worry." He knew that would be impossible, but he had to say it. Ianto had tea that would help, at least. Sulu... was going to deal with this the best way he knew how.

Following Jack down the hall, he jogged a bit to catch up with him, and then passed him just enough to grab the greatcoat from the chair it had been left on. All right, so maybe this wasn't his best way to deal with it, but it was all he could come up with to keep Jack from leaving. "Running away isn't going to help, Jack." His voice was tight and clipped, but his expression revealed much more of his emotionally turbulent state.

Ianto wanted nothing more than to get up and follow the other man into the other room, to chase after Jack and make him see that it wasn't like that. He... He wasn't like that, he hadn't meant it like that, he would change, really he would, he just... Groaning, Ianto put his head in his hands. He was going to have to let Sulu take care of this, seeing as how he physically couldn't go after them. He was going to have to make Sulu do yet another thing for him, and he hated that he was so dependent on everyone else at that moment, but he really didn't have a choice, he just didn't. So he sat there, and waited.

Jack glared at Sulu, wishing that he'd thought to leave his coat on so that the other man wouldn't be able to keep him like this. "First you don't want me to be angry, and now you don't want me to leave. You know what? All of this trying to dictate how I can and cannot react is really starting to piss me off," he said, his eyes narrowed. He held out a hand. "Give me back my coat, Lieutenant," he commanded, using the best authoritative tone that he could muster, at that moment.

Sulu didn't even think to inform Jack that he wasn't his captain and couldn't order him around like that, but he also didn't think to give his coat back. Jack was commanding even at his worse, but Sulu's loyalties still lay with Ianto, despite everything that had happened. He held on to the coat and instead fixed Jack with an irritated glare.

"I'm not telling you not to be angry. I can't do that when you have every right to be angry. We both have every right to be angry. Hell, we both are angry! But Ianto needs us despite this." Despite lying to them, despite wanting to hold this back so everyone could be happy, despite being so dumb as to think they would prefer not knowing, Ianto was the one person the two of them felt strongly enough about to go through this for. And they would do anything for him - for Sulu, that included tolerating the lying until they could really discuss it. "He needs us, Jack, and I can't let you leave like this. I can't do this alone as it is, and if you leave right now..." He wasn't sure he'd be able to help Ianto out of whatever chasm he fell in because of it.

A muscle in Jack's jaw twitched as he glared right back at Sulu, taking in a sharp, shaky, irritated breath and letting it out again. He hated the fact that Sulu was starting to make him feel guilty about what he wanted nothing more than to be able to do--just run away and leave this situation to someone who was better prepared to deal with it, better tempered to deal with it. He hated that every time Sulu said he couldn't do something alone, Jack knew that it was the truth, and that he couldn't just leave the other man hanging like this. That he owed as much to Sulu as he did to Ianto, in that moment. It frustrated him beyond measure.

Jack stepped closer to Sulu, lowering his voice, letting a little bit of his hurt rear its head above his anger for a moment. "He's done this before," Jack said, thrusting his hand in the direction of the kitchen as he spoke, his voice low but still forceful. "He's kept things, things that...that he should have let me know about. Serious issues, Sulu. And he told me that he'd change those times, too. What the hell am I supposed to do, here? How do I know that he's not lying again?"

The fact that Ianto kept things from Jack didn't surprise Sulu, not really. And after this, how could he ever expect Ianto to not be holding things from him as well? He wanted to tell Jack that all he wanted to do was scream and yell at Ianto but his heart twisted in his chest even thinking about it. He wanted to take Jack's side so much more than he already had, he wanted to make Ianto tell him everything he'd ever lied to them about, but he couldn't.

"There's no way to know," Sulu said, hurt tinging his voice. "I don't know, Jack, but. I know that he didn't do this out of spite. He couldn't have. Ianto doesn't do things like this out of spite or malice. You." He swallowed, moving to lean against the wall nearest them, rubbing his face with his hands before tilting his head up to look at Jack, taking a deep breath. "You're not supposed to do anything. There's no right answer here. But. If. If this is - if this is it," and now he knew he wasn't in control of what he was saying, so he closed his eyes and turned his head away, keeping his voice low, "If this is all we have left, do you really want to walk out on it now?"

Jack's expression softened immediately, as soon as Sulu started to sound as lost as he did, and by the time he was leaning against the wall, looking as lost as he sounded, some of Jack's anger was starting to melt away as well. He stepped forward, moving closer to Sulu so he could keep his voice low and still be heard by the other man, and not be overheard by Ianto.

"If this is all we have left," he said softly, "then I would have liked to have known this a lot sooner. So I could've been around a lot more, rather than chasing down ghost stories in Caerphilly Castle. If... If this is all we have left, then..." He bit his lip. "Then it isn't fair. We deserve more. He deserves more than this last month that he's had. Then that's all the more reason he should have told us. So that we could've been there, we could've done something. Even...even if it was only spending more time with him, even if that's all we could have done, then at least we would've been able to do that. Because...if things really are as bad as he says they are. If...if this really is all that there is... He's got days, Sulu. If even."

Sulu shook his head, looking up at Jack after a moment of mentally calming himself down. "He should have told us. I think even he knows that now. But he didn't tell us, and there's nothing we can do about that. What we can do is try to stop this. I'm going to talk to McCoy. At the very least, he might..."

He choked on his words for a moment, struggling to get all his thoughts in line and to kick them back into the optimism he'd had just before Jack had arrived. It would be all right, it would, damn it. It had to be. "...At the very least," he finally started again, weakly, "He might be able to treat the symptoms. To make it better while..."

He shook his head again, harder, reaching up to grip his hair with both his hands before letting them drop to his sides once more, focusing on Jack again. "We fought to get him back the first time, and we can't give up now. One last roadblock, that's all this is. I. I care for him so much, Jack." He could only hope Jack knew exactly what he meant when he said that. "And I can't let him down now."

Edited 2010-12-07 06:29 (UTC)

Jack did understand what Sulu meant when he said that. He understood all too well what he meant when he said it, because that was really as close as Jack ever got to saying it aloud as well. He took in a breath, shutting his eyes as he let it out, letting out what was left of his anger with it until he was just tired and sad. But he wasn't leaving anymore. He couldn't leave now, not after Sulu had said things like that. Because they couldn't give up, now. They couldn't let him down, after everything that they'd been through already.

He opened his eyes, and looked to Sulu. Really looked at him, as an equal, as a man who knew exactly what he was going through here, who knew exactly what was on the line, what they had to lose in losing this one person that was so dear to both of them. And he couldn't let Sulu down in that moment either. As much as he wanted to just run away until it all fixed itself, that was a luxury he couldn't afford.

"Fine," he said, softly. He reached out, gently taking his coat from Sulu and hanging it back over the back of the chair, hoping that the gesture spoke for itself. "...so what do we do now, then?" he asked softly, turning to look at Sulu, questioningly.

Sulu smiled sadly at Jack and shrugged a little helplessly. He had no idea what they needed to do now. He knew the facts - he had to contact McCoy, get Ianto to the Enterprise, fix him - but that wasn't really what Jack was asking, and he knew it. Jack wanted to know what they should do about the situation they were in emotionally, how they were going to cope with it. He didn't even know where to start with that.

Finally, he sighed and spoke, knowing that whatever he said would be better than staying quiet. "We forgive Ianto for this. At least for now. And then we'll drink tea to calm ourselves down, take Ianto up to bed and try hard to just enjoy what we have while we have it." Because really, that's all they could do.

Jack sighed. 'Forgive Ianto', Sulu had said. And that... That wasn't going to be easy, especially for something like this. But he knew that...well. Especially if this was it, he'd never forgive himself for being quite that stubborn, to deny himself what he wanted more than anything, which was more time with Ianto. And who knew how much time he'd get. If...if this was it, then he didn't want to waste it by being angry at him, not since he'd come to his senses on it.

He took in another breath, letting it out in a soft sigh, before nodding at the other man. "Yeah, alright. Together. Let's just. Let's just enjoy what we've got while we've got it together, then," he said, letting it be known that he wasn't looking to kick Sulu out to spend time with Ianto, that he was perfectly capable of sharing like always. He gave the other man a look after that, though. "...what's this about having some tea to calm down?" he asked, with a look, his voice lighter than it'd been since he'd arrived in the flat.

The fact that Jack was making a point to include him in his thoughts was more than reassuring for Sulu. It made him smile a little, because even if he'd been asked, he'd have gone willingly, but it was nice to not have to worry about it. He liked Jack, he really did. And his feelings for Ianto... He wouldn't mind spending time with both of them, even if it was just the beginning of the end for it all.

He had to stop thinking like that. He needed to focus on helping Ianto get better, and he needed to be at the top of his game for both Jack and Ianto. So, he smiled wider and tilted his head towards the kitchen. "I brought down some of that feel good tea I've got. I thought it might help Ianto feel a little better, and it seemed to work." He lifted a hand to rest it on Jack's shoulder. "It might work for us too. If you want some, I mean - I know how opposed you are to tea."

Jack smiled at Sulu, and lifted his own hand to rest on the side of Sulu's neck. It was slightly more of an intimate gesture than putting his hand on Sulu's shoulder, but then Jack was just more of an intimate sort of person. The gesture was intimate, without being sexual, only something that someone as comfortable with himself as Jack could pull off, after all.

"I think this time around, I might be able to make an exception. Especially if that tea works as well as I remember it working," he said, with a smile. He kept his hand there for a moment longer, before bringing it down to his side again. "Alright, then," he said, taking in a breath. "Let's...let's go back in there and face the music then, I guess," he said. He couldn't say that he was exactly ready to be facing Ianto again, not really, but it was like Sulu had emphasized. They weren't sure how much time they did have left, and so what use was it wasting it being angry at him, when they could at least be helping out in some way.

Even if all the help they could provide was tea and company. It'd be better than nothing, Sulu supposed, and once they were settled for the night, he could send McCoy a message. It was funny how he just assumed Jack would be staying the night, and funnier still that he didn't think twice about it, but there it was. He'd become sort of used to depending on Jack's presence during these kinds of things in the past month; used to having him around when things seemed like they would fall apart around him.

"He'll just be glad we're not going to deal with it right now," Sulu said quietly, moving away from Jack and towards the kitchen again. "And honestly, I'll be glad that we aren't. I'm going to need a very good vacation after this whole thing is over." And it was true; Sulu felt like he was going to need some time to recuperate, to get back that level of optimism that he'd had before everything had gone to hell.

When he entered the kitchen, he noticed that Ianto was resting with his head on his arms, eyes closed. For one terrible split second, Sulu almost wondered - but no, he could see Ianto's body moving slightly with his breath. He smiled a little sadly and looked back at Jack. "Looks like he's not going to be very active tonight," he said, as though the both of them hadn't already known that. "Here, if you wake him up, I can make sure the tea's still hot enough to drink."

Much like Sulu, when Jack saw Ianto sitting there, so still like that, he too wondered for a split second if he'd just ruined his last chance, but no. Ianto was still breathing, he was just asleep. And while the fact that he'd fallen asleep after such a stressful situation and in a matter of mere minutes was still sort of disturbing on some levels, Jack was willing to look past that. Because now he knew the truth about Ianto's health, and there wasn't any hiding of it anymore.

"Alright," he said, agreeing to Sulu's deal about waking Ianto up while he checked on the tea. Standing over Ianto, Jack sighed for a moment, before crouching beside his chair and putting a hand on his arm, his other on his shoulder and shaking him gently. "Ianto..." he said, softly.

Ianto's blinked his eyes open blearily, blinking at Jack, momentarily confused before he realized what got him in this position, what had just happened. The fact that Jack was still there... Well. It was a relief, to say the least. He was definitely going to have to thank Sulu for whatever it was that he'd had to deal with from Jack after the pair of them stepped out of the room, that was for sure. "...you're still here," he said, softly.

Jack reached out a hand, running it through Ianto's hair and sighing at him. He was still a bit angry at the other man, but. It wasn't anything that he couldn't push aside and deal with later, he decided. "Yeah," Jack answered. "I... I guess I am."

The tea wasn't as hot as Sulu might've liked it, but it was definitely still drinkable, and so he poured out another mug for Jack before checking on the two left on the table. Finding them suitable enough, he sat down to one and smiled a little at the two of them. He didn't really know what to say, though, so he stuck to drinking his tea for the moment, relishing in the warm feeling it gave him. It was all going to be okay, he knew that. They would make it okay.

"I'm going to get a hold of McCoy once I know he's awake," he told Ianto, hearing his voice reflect the effects of the tea on his mood. "We're going to get this fixed." He wasn't going to bring up what had happened before; he thought it best to let that dog lie for now, and deal with it once everything else was in the right order.

Jack moved his hand back to Ianto's shoulder, giving it a squeeze before he stood up and went to fetch his mug of tea, sitting down at the table with the other two. Ianto...felt more than a little awkward about the fact that he'd fallen asleep after quite so intense a moment, but he figured that they'd forgive him for it. If they could forgive him for keeping things from them, or at least if they could let it slide for now, they'd definitely be able to let him falling asleep waiting for him slide as well.

Jack and Ianto both took respective sips of their own tea, and each felt the substance taking its own version of its effects on them. Both of their moods improved, but for Jack it was more of an aid in helping him come down off of his tirade, helping him push aside emotions that weren't going to help them in the situation, while for Ianto it was more about bringing the positive emotions up and out of the pit of fear that had settled in his stomach when he'd thought for a moment that...Jack was going to walk out on him, and well. There was a chance that he might never see him again, if he did.

Ianto nodded at Sulu's words, being reassured as much as Jack was that they had a plan, as simple and straightforward as it was. "Yeah, alright," he said, quietly. "I... I hope that he'll agree to it, like you said he will. I mean. I trust that he will, since you believe in him, I just. He really doesn't have to, or anything. I'm not a crew member."

Jack shrugged. "But you are a patient. And he's a doctor. Trust me when I say that doctors really do like fixing problems and making people feel better. Even if they aren't obligated to be doing so." He turned to Sulu, looking for a response. "I trust that this Doctor McCoy is the same, right?"

Sulu nodded at Jack's question, giving Ianto a reassuring smile. "It doesn't matter if you're not part of the crew. He'll want to help you because you need help, and it's not like you need to pay him for it or anything. There hasn't been a crisis lately that would make it hard for him to see you, either."

He shrugged and sipped at his tea before adding, "And it wouldn't matter anyway. Your health affects my health, and as an officer, it's important that I'm not distracted from my duties. Even if he wasn't the best doctor you could ask for, he'd still help on that fact alone." But McCoy was the best doctor Starfleet had to offer, as far as Sulu was concerned. His entire crew was the best. "I know that he'll be able to help, and willing to as well." He had to, there was no other way this would work. If McCoy didn't know what to do... who else would?

Ianto blinked as Sulu said those words, 'your health affects my health'. He hadn't ever thought about that before, but now that it was out there...he knew it was true. Sure, he knew that Sulu was affected by everything that was going on with him. He hadn't been there when...during the time he'd died, but from the way Sulu had reacted since he'd come back, he was willing to bet that things had gotten pretty bad for him during that time. That...that this whole thing with Ianto's health was making Sulu emotionally compromised, and that couldn't happen. Not when Sulu had a job like the one he did.

He nodded, slowly. "Yeah, alright. I'll... We'll go to Doctor McCoy, then. As soon as he'll have me, after you talk to him. Anything... Anything I can do to make things better, I. I will. I." He swallowed, and took a fortifying sip of his tea before he said, "I haven't given up on you. Not now. Especially not now. If. If there's something for McCoy to fix, then. We'll try to have him fix it." This can't be the way things end, it can't. Not when there was so much more to do. Ianto wasn't quitting on either of them. Not by a long shot.

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