torchwoodteaboy | [RL WITH SULU]

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[RL WITH SULU]

Ianto lay in his bed upstairs, a book laying face down on his chest. He had been trying to read for the better part of an hour, but had found himself drifting more often than not, and on the third read-through of the same page he'd given up and just put it down. And he'd been drifting since then as well, not really awake enough to be doing anything other than just lying there, not really tired enough to really go to sleep. More and more each day, while no one else was around, he found himself in this sort of a state, a sort of standby mode that was disturbing in the fact that it didn't really bother him. That nothing really bothered him anymore, because he really couldn't dredge up enough energy to be bothered about it.

He brought a hand up to his face, running it across his eyes. He...he couldn't keep lying to himself like this. At first he thought it had simply been his imagination, that things were just progressing slowly, that was all. For all that he had worried that things wouldn't get better, he had hoped that they would, Sulu continuously helping him be optimistic in that fact, and so the fact that he was going backwards, now, getting worse, it... It was crushing. And he had no idea what he was going to do about it. No idea. The even worse fact of the matter was that he was slowly convincing himself that there was nothing to do about it. That he'd never get better. That it was too late, and he couldn't do anything about it now even if he tried. Which was the mindset he kept spiraling down and dragging himself out of as it approached that time when Sulu would be making his appearance for the night.

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The fact that Ianto kept things from Jack didn't surprise Sulu, not really. And after this, how could he ever expect Ianto to not be holding things from him as well? He wanted to tell Jack that all he wanted to do was scream and yell at Ianto but his heart twisted in his chest even thinking about it. He wanted to take Jack's side so much more than he already had, he wanted to make Ianto tell him everything he'd ever lied to them about, but he couldn't.

"There's no way to know," Sulu said, hurt tinging his voice. "I don't know, Jack, but. I know that he didn't do this out of spite. He couldn't have. Ianto doesn't do things like this out of spite or malice. You." He swallowed, moving to lean against the wall nearest them, rubbing his face with his hands before tilting his head up to look at Jack, taking a deep breath. "You're not supposed to do anything. There's no right answer here. But. If. If this is - if this is it," and now he knew he wasn't in control of what he was saying, so he closed his eyes and turned his head away, keeping his voice low, "If this is all we have left, do you really want to walk out on it now?"

Jack's expression softened immediately, as soon as Sulu started to sound as lost as he did, and by the time he was leaning against the wall, looking as lost as he sounded, some of Jack's anger was starting to melt away as well. He stepped forward, moving closer to Sulu so he could keep his voice low and still be heard by the other man, and not be overheard by Ianto.

"If this is all we have left," he said softly, "then I would have liked to have known this a lot sooner. So I could've been around a lot more, rather than chasing down ghost stories in Caerphilly Castle. If... If this is all we have left, then..." He bit his lip. "Then it isn't fair. We deserve more. He deserves more than this last month that he's had. Then that's all the more reason he should have told us. So that we could've been there, we could've done something. Even...even if it was only spending more time with him, even if that's all we could have done, then at least we would've been able to do that. Because...if things really are as bad as he says they are. If...if this really is all that there is... He's got days, Sulu. If even."

Sulu shook his head, looking up at Jack after a moment of mentally calming himself down. "He should have told us. I think even he knows that now. But he didn't tell us, and there's nothing we can do about that. What we can do is try to stop this. I'm going to talk to McCoy. At the very least, he might..."

He choked on his words for a moment, struggling to get all his thoughts in line and to kick them back into the optimism he'd had just before Jack had arrived. It would be all right, it would, damn it. It had to be. "...At the very least," he finally started again, weakly, "He might be able to treat the symptoms. To make it better while..."

He shook his head again, harder, reaching up to grip his hair with both his hands before letting them drop to his sides once more, focusing on Jack again. "We fought to get him back the first time, and we can't give up now. One last roadblock, that's all this is. I. I care for him so much, Jack." He could only hope Jack knew exactly what he meant when he said that. "And I can't let him down now."

Edited 2010-12-07 06:29 (UTC)

Jack did understand what Sulu meant when he said that. He understood all too well what he meant when he said it, because that was really as close as Jack ever got to saying it aloud as well. He took in a breath, shutting his eyes as he let it out, letting out what was left of his anger with it until he was just tired and sad. But he wasn't leaving anymore. He couldn't leave now, not after Sulu had said things like that. Because they couldn't give up, now. They couldn't let him down, after everything that they'd been through already.

He opened his eyes, and looked to Sulu. Really looked at him, as an equal, as a man who knew exactly what he was going through here, who knew exactly what was on the line, what they had to lose in losing this one person that was so dear to both of them. And he couldn't let Sulu down in that moment either. As much as he wanted to just run away until it all fixed itself, that was a luxury he couldn't afford.

"Fine," he said, softly. He reached out, gently taking his coat from Sulu and hanging it back over the back of the chair, hoping that the gesture spoke for itself. "...so what do we do now, then?" he asked softly, turning to look at Sulu, questioningly.

Sulu smiled sadly at Jack and shrugged a little helplessly. He had no idea what they needed to do now. He knew the facts - he had to contact McCoy, get Ianto to the Enterprise, fix him - but that wasn't really what Jack was asking, and he knew it. Jack wanted to know what they should do about the situation they were in emotionally, how they were going to cope with it. He didn't even know where to start with that.

Finally, he sighed and spoke, knowing that whatever he said would be better than staying quiet. "We forgive Ianto for this. At least for now. And then we'll drink tea to calm ourselves down, take Ianto up to bed and try hard to just enjoy what we have while we have it." Because really, that's all they could do.

Jack sighed. 'Forgive Ianto', Sulu had said. And that... That wasn't going to be easy, especially for something like this. But he knew that...well. Especially if this was it, he'd never forgive himself for being quite that stubborn, to deny himself what he wanted more than anything, which was more time with Ianto. And who knew how much time he'd get. If...if this was it, then he didn't want to waste it by being angry at him, not since he'd come to his senses on it.

He took in another breath, letting it out in a soft sigh, before nodding at the other man. "Yeah, alright. Together. Let's just. Let's just enjoy what we've got while we've got it together, then," he said, letting it be known that he wasn't looking to kick Sulu out to spend time with Ianto, that he was perfectly capable of sharing like always. He gave the other man a look after that, though. "...what's this about having some tea to calm down?" he asked, with a look, his voice lighter than it'd been since he'd arrived in the flat.

The fact that Jack was making a point to include him in his thoughts was more than reassuring for Sulu. It made him smile a little, because even if he'd been asked, he'd have gone willingly, but it was nice to not have to worry about it. He liked Jack, he really did. And his feelings for Ianto... He wouldn't mind spending time with both of them, even if it was just the beginning of the end for it all.

He had to stop thinking like that. He needed to focus on helping Ianto get better, and he needed to be at the top of his game for both Jack and Ianto. So, he smiled wider and tilted his head towards the kitchen. "I brought down some of that feel good tea I've got. I thought it might help Ianto feel a little better, and it seemed to work." He lifted a hand to rest it on Jack's shoulder. "It might work for us too. If you want some, I mean - I know how opposed you are to tea."

Jack smiled at Sulu, and lifted his own hand to rest on the side of Sulu's neck. It was slightly more of an intimate gesture than putting his hand on Sulu's shoulder, but then Jack was just more of an intimate sort of person. The gesture was intimate, without being sexual, only something that someone as comfortable with himself as Jack could pull off, after all.

"I think this time around, I might be able to make an exception. Especially if that tea works as well as I remember it working," he said, with a smile. He kept his hand there for a moment longer, before bringing it down to his side again. "Alright, then," he said, taking in a breath. "Let's...let's go back in there and face the music then, I guess," he said. He couldn't say that he was exactly ready to be facing Ianto again, not really, but it was like Sulu had emphasized. They weren't sure how much time they did have left, and so what use was it wasting it being angry at him, when they could at least be helping out in some way.

Even if all the help they could provide was tea and company. It'd be better than nothing, Sulu supposed, and once they were settled for the night, he could send McCoy a message. It was funny how he just assumed Jack would be staying the night, and funnier still that he didn't think twice about it, but there it was. He'd become sort of used to depending on Jack's presence during these kinds of things in the past month; used to having him around when things seemed like they would fall apart around him.

"He'll just be glad we're not going to deal with it right now," Sulu said quietly, moving away from Jack and towards the kitchen again. "And honestly, I'll be glad that we aren't. I'm going to need a very good vacation after this whole thing is over." And it was true; Sulu felt like he was going to need some time to recuperate, to get back that level of optimism that he'd had before everything had gone to hell.

When he entered the kitchen, he noticed that Ianto was resting with his head on his arms, eyes closed. For one terrible split second, Sulu almost wondered - but no, he could see Ianto's body moving slightly with his breath. He smiled a little sadly and looked back at Jack. "Looks like he's not going to be very active tonight," he said, as though the both of them hadn't already known that. "Here, if you wake him up, I can make sure the tea's still hot enough to drink."

Much like Sulu, when Jack saw Ianto sitting there, so still like that, he too wondered for a split second if he'd just ruined his last chance, but no. Ianto was still breathing, he was just asleep. And while the fact that he'd fallen asleep after such a stressful situation and in a matter of mere minutes was still sort of disturbing on some levels, Jack was willing to look past that. Because now he knew the truth about Ianto's health, and there wasn't any hiding of it anymore.

"Alright," he said, agreeing to Sulu's deal about waking Ianto up while he checked on the tea. Standing over Ianto, Jack sighed for a moment, before crouching beside his chair and putting a hand on his arm, his other on his shoulder and shaking him gently. "Ianto..." he said, softly.

Ianto's blinked his eyes open blearily, blinking at Jack, momentarily confused before he realized what got him in this position, what had just happened. The fact that Jack was still there... Well. It was a relief, to say the least. He was definitely going to have to thank Sulu for whatever it was that he'd had to deal with from Jack after the pair of them stepped out of the room, that was for sure. "...you're still here," he said, softly.

Jack reached out a hand, running it through Ianto's hair and sighing at him. He was still a bit angry at the other man, but. It wasn't anything that he couldn't push aside and deal with later, he decided. "Yeah," Jack answered. "I... I guess I am."

The tea wasn't as hot as Sulu might've liked it, but it was definitely still drinkable, and so he poured out another mug for Jack before checking on the two left on the table. Finding them suitable enough, he sat down to one and smiled a little at the two of them. He didn't really know what to say, though, so he stuck to drinking his tea for the moment, relishing in the warm feeling it gave him. It was all going to be okay, he knew that. They would make it okay.

"I'm going to get a hold of McCoy once I know he's awake," he told Ianto, hearing his voice reflect the effects of the tea on his mood. "We're going to get this fixed." He wasn't going to bring up what had happened before; he thought it best to let that dog lie for now, and deal with it once everything else was in the right order.

Jack moved his hand back to Ianto's shoulder, giving it a squeeze before he stood up and went to fetch his mug of tea, sitting down at the table with the other two. Ianto...felt more than a little awkward about the fact that he'd fallen asleep after quite so intense a moment, but he figured that they'd forgive him for it. If they could forgive him for keeping things from them, or at least if they could let it slide for now, they'd definitely be able to let him falling asleep waiting for him slide as well.

Jack and Ianto both took respective sips of their own tea, and each felt the substance taking its own version of its effects on them. Both of their moods improved, but for Jack it was more of an aid in helping him come down off of his tirade, helping him push aside emotions that weren't going to help them in the situation, while for Ianto it was more about bringing the positive emotions up and out of the pit of fear that had settled in his stomach when he'd thought for a moment that...Jack was going to walk out on him, and well. There was a chance that he might never see him again, if he did.

Ianto nodded at Sulu's words, being reassured as much as Jack was that they had a plan, as simple and straightforward as it was. "Yeah, alright," he said, quietly. "I... I hope that he'll agree to it, like you said he will. I mean. I trust that he will, since you believe in him, I just. He really doesn't have to, or anything. I'm not a crew member."

Jack shrugged. "But you are a patient. And he's a doctor. Trust me when I say that doctors really do like fixing problems and making people feel better. Even if they aren't obligated to be doing so." He turned to Sulu, looking for a response. "I trust that this Doctor McCoy is the same, right?"

Sulu nodded at Jack's question, giving Ianto a reassuring smile. "It doesn't matter if you're not part of the crew. He'll want to help you because you need help, and it's not like you need to pay him for it or anything. There hasn't been a crisis lately that would make it hard for him to see you, either."

He shrugged and sipped at his tea before adding, "And it wouldn't matter anyway. Your health affects my health, and as an officer, it's important that I'm not distracted from my duties. Even if he wasn't the best doctor you could ask for, he'd still help on that fact alone." But McCoy was the best doctor Starfleet had to offer, as far as Sulu was concerned. His entire crew was the best. "I know that he'll be able to help, and willing to as well." He had to, there was no other way this would work. If McCoy didn't know what to do... who else would?

Ianto blinked as Sulu said those words, 'your health affects my health'. He hadn't ever thought about that before, but now that it was out there...he knew it was true. Sure, he knew that Sulu was affected by everything that was going on with him. He hadn't been there when...during the time he'd died, but from the way Sulu had reacted since he'd come back, he was willing to bet that things had gotten pretty bad for him during that time. That...that this whole thing with Ianto's health was making Sulu emotionally compromised, and that couldn't happen. Not when Sulu had a job like the one he did.

He nodded, slowly. "Yeah, alright. I'll... We'll go to Doctor McCoy, then. As soon as he'll have me, after you talk to him. Anything... Anything I can do to make things better, I. I will. I." He swallowed, and took a fortifying sip of his tea before he said, "I haven't given up on you. Not now. Especially not now. If. If there's something for McCoy to fix, then. We'll try to have him fix it." This can't be the way things end, it can't. Not when there was so much more to do. Ianto wasn't quitting on either of them. Not by a long shot.

The determination that Ianto was showing to Sulu and Jack made Sulu want to kiss him. It was just so nice to see it, to see and hear Ianto trying his hardest to keep an optimistic outlook, and he couldn't begin to put it into words. It made the whole thing just a little sunnier, a little brighter for him, and it helped fortify his own determination.

He couldn't reach from where he was sitting to kiss Ianto, though, so he settled for reaching out and putting a hand over his, smiling honestly and happily at Ianto. "Good," he said, "Because we haven't given up on you, either." Sulu couldn't do that, anyway. Even if there was no hope left, he wouldn't be able to give up. He hadn't when Ianto had died, after all, so what could make him give up when it was something they could fix before Ianto died again?

Ianto turned his hand in Sulu's, palm up to curl his fingers around Sulu's hand and grip back, quirking his own smile back at the other man. Jack sat back, watching the pair of them quietly, his mug clutched in his hands, cradling it in them as he thought, sipping the tea as he thought. They were just kids, sitting there in front of him, and yet. They had such hope, that...it was hard not to latch onto it. Not to want to latch onto it, not to want to protect it, because however fragile it was, however many cracks he could see in it, little breaks in their smiles, they...they were still there.

"Well," Jack said, finally breaking the silence. "That's settled, then. We're going to do this. But..." He sighed. "We are going to talk about this later. You're going to talk to us, Ianto. Separately or together or however it works out." He gave Ianto a pointed look. "This can't happen again, Ianto."

Ianto's smile faltered a little, but Jack's expression wasn't angry, it was softer than that, so he nodded. Because after all, even though Jack was still fixating on the fact that he'd kept the truth from him, he was thinking about a next time, which...meant that that tea was doing its job, Ianto supposed, but he'd take what he could get at that moment. "Yes, sir," he said, quietly.

Squeezing Ianto's hand briefly before letting go, Sulu picked up his own mug and took another sip. He couldn't tell Ianto that they would wait, that it wouldn't be so bad and that Ianto didn't have to be worried, because honestly he probably would anyway. And it wasn't going to be easy or nice, but at least they could actually talk. Sulu had known that Ianto wasn't exactly stellar at communication, but this was going to be the point where he'd have to draw the line. Sulu didn't need to know everything about Ianto's life, but he did need to know if he could help.

But, that was the future, and right now all they really had was this moment right here, with tea and each other. Sulu couldn't bring himself to think about it much more than that; he'd get in touch with McCoy once they were settled in, arrange for a time tomorrow to see him, and then... And then it was up to McCoy. Thankfully, he was the one man Sulu could trust with this above all others. "It's all going to be fine," he said finally, before shrugging helplessly at the two of them, wearing an embarrassed smile. "In the meantime, though, do we need something to eat, or," he looked to Ianto, "Do you just want to get some sleep?"

Ianto shrugged, taking his hand back to wrap around his mug. "I'm not exactly hungry," he said softly, deciding that it'd be best to be honest with them from this point on. Jack shot him a look, but it was unnecessary, because he was already opening his mouth to continue, "but...I should eat. And you should too," he said, looking at the two of them. Ianto knew better than to tell them to put him to bed and then eat without him, especially now that...well. He'd prefer to have them there with him too, just in case, so.

Jack took a large swallow of tea, before moving to stand up. Ianto thought for a second that he was leaving again, but then he was heading to the cupboards, and his heart rate slowed down again. "Let me handle this, kids," he said, lightly. "I think I can probably do something with what we've got here."

Ianto nodded, grateful, before turning back to Sulu. "Jack's...surprisingly good at cooking," he said, smiling at Sulu. "Just. Don't pay too much attention to what sorts of combination are going into whatever he's doing. It's best not to know."

Sulu raised an eyebrow at that, though he wasn't particularly surprised. Jack seemed like the kind of guy who was simply able to do these sorts of things, cooking and the like. Considering the warning, though, Sulu had a feeling Jack didn't particularly subscribe to typical Earth customs when it came to what went with what.

Grinning at Ianto, he shrugged and leaned back in his chair. "I don't think I'll mind much," he told him, "After all, I'm used to Tellar delivery, and some of the combinations they have there are a little weird by traditional standards." Still, it was delicious. He thought for a moment about how he'd get to take Ianto to some of the alien cuisine restaurants in San Francisco, when things were fixed, and it made him grin a little wider and a little more sincerely. It'd be fun. Of course, he still had to figure out if he could do it at all... but one thing at a time.

Jack went to the cupboard, grabbing a pot and sticking it in the sink, filling it up to just the right amount of water, before sticking it on the burner. When all else failed, there was always pasta of some sort, and everyone liked pasta, didn't they? At least, Jack figured as much. Never mind the fact that he'd make a sauce that wasn't exactly what anyone would call normal, it was still just pasta in the end, right? Jack went about setting things up, leaving Ianto to do the talking, finding something calming in just going through the motions of doing something normal like that.

Ianto sat forward in his chair, propping his arm on the table, and his head on his hand, cocking his head at Sulu. "'Tellar delivery'?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "What's that, then?" He shook his head, smiling slightly. "And here I was thinking that ordering Indian cuisine was adventurous..."

Sulu laughed at that, knowing full well that Indian food was probably less safe to eat than Tellar delivery but unwilling to say so. It wouldn't do to ruin the mystique of alien cuisine, would it? "It's what Chinese delivery is to actual Chinese cuisine, really. Except instead of the Chinese, it's the Tellarites. It's mostly vegetarian. Usually, Tellar cuisine is served raw, but like all good fast-food type things, they tend to at least char or bake the dishes a little."

He grinned. "If you get meat in a dish, though, it's usually some kind of canine." He knew that would throw Ianto for a loop, and that's why he made sure to point it out. Sure, it would have been fun to keep it from Ianto, but he really didn't want to make the other man eat something without knowing what it was. "It's the service that's really the most difficult part. Tellarites are big on arguing and debating, so you can get into a bit of a fight before you get to place an order at all." He shrugged, smiling, "The food's good, though, so most people put up with it."

Ianto made a face at Sulu, trying to decide what made him question it more, the part about eating dogs, (or anything related to dogs for that matter), or the part about having to fight with them before you could get a meal of vegetables and dog. "...maybe I'll just stick to Chinese and Indian," Ianto said, quirking a little smile at the other man. He wasn't that sure about eating canines, and he could have vegetables any time. "Leave all of that sort of thing to you, and all."

"Dog isn't half bad," Jack piped up, from the stove.

Ianto shot a look over his shoulder at Jack. "I am never going to trust you to cook meat for me ever again, if you say things like that," he said. Jack shrugged, throwing a, "Not like I could find something like that at the market, anyway," over his shoulder, before turning back to his work. Ianto just shook his head. He supposed...if it tasted good, he wouldn't mind too much. He'd just prefer not to know what he was eating, if it came down to that, though.

"It really isn't that bad," Sulu said, smiling sympathetically at Ianto, "But I still prefer their vegetarian dishes. I don't like that the place I usually get food from doesn't always tell you what kind of canine you're eating." Still, if Ianto didn't want to eat it, there wasn't much Sulu could do to convince him otherwise. Ianto was pretty stubborn, after all.

Still. It'd be fun to have him come around and try some of the things the 23rd century had to offer. He'd just have to figure out if it was possible. Really, anything was possible at this point, though - once Ianto was better (and he would get better, he had to keep reminding himself that), Sulu could find out about warping all the way home. Or world-hopping, which was far more likely.

"Either way, like I was saying, whatever he could come up with probably won't be any sketchier than Tellar delivery."

Ianto shook his head, making a face. "You know, nothing you're saying here is making anything about that sound any more appealing at all, really," he said. He smiled at Sulu bringing it back to Jack's cooking, though, as the main topic of conversation. "Yeah," he said, "I... Jack's made some pretty interesting dishes, but I wouldn't call any of them sketchy, or anything. I mean. He's making them with ingredients that I have around the flat, so I know that there's nothing I wouldn't eat going in there, or anything."

"There isn't going to be anything too surprising about this, either," Jack said. "It's just pasta." Which they did have, when Jack grew up. Some things never got old, after all.

Ianto gave Sulu a pointed look. "Just pasta, he says," Ianto pointed out, making it obvious that 'just pasta' isn't going to be what Jack will eventually serve at all.

Sulu responded with a face of his own, pouting a bit over-dramatically at Ianto. "I thought the fact that it was alien cuisine would be enough to outweigh all the weird parts," he said, before laughing a bit and shaking his head and looking over at Jack. Sulu knew just as well as Ianto did that pasta made by a man who was used to 51st century cuisine was not going to be just pasta. Unless marinara sauce was truly the end-all-be-all of red sauces.

"I've had plenty of pasta dishes that I was really not allowed to ask what was in them, thank you," he said with a bit of a smirk, "So while I seriously doubt what you're making is just pasta, I'll have to agree that it's not going to be anything that bad."

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