torchwoodteaboy | [RL WITH SULU]

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[RL WITH SULU]

It'd been a week. A week since that first day that he'd come back from the hospital, and Sulu had had to help him around his flat. A week, most of which he'd spent in a sort of semi-conscious, fatigued and weary state, shuffling about trying to get the necessary things done, but only just succeeding. As Ianto sat on the edge of his bed, just having gotten up from what had been his second nap of the day, and not feeling any better after having taken it, the world spinning around him from having sat up too fast, even though he'd paced himself and been extra careful not to, Ianto had the sinking feeling that in that whole week, he hadn't gotten better at all. Sulu had stuck around until his leave had been up, like he said he would, and then once he'd left, Jack had popped in a few times during the day to help out with chores (he was surprisingly good at doing the dishes and the laundry) and then at night to lie with him (even if Jack didn't sleep and Ianto felt like he was wasting the other man's time). And yet. In that whole week, nothing had changed. Nothing had gotten better. And Ianto was getting sick and tired of being sick and tired, and Jack was great to have around, but. He didn't really understand what it was like to be ill, and sometimes that wore on Ianto even more than not having him around at all.

And now, as the sun was setting, and Jack was off on a sudden call to London, Gwen doing god knows what with Rhys, Ianto wasn't about to disturb their peace, it was all starting to get at Ianto. The darkness was creeping in, and he was beginning to think that maybe he wasn't getting better at all. That maybe he'd never get better. Maybe this was how things would be, from now on. Maybe the darkness really would come for him, because it didn't seem like it would ever really let him go again, and Ianto swallowed against the swell of panic rising in his stomach. He... He couldn't do this. He knew that he didn't want to bother Sulu. That he had specifically refrained from calling him out of the blue for anything since he'd left to go back to his ship, instead waiting for Sulu himself to make the first contact, but. He. He really needed someone there with him. Someone real. Someone who understood and could chase the demons away like he promised he would. And so Ianto did the only thing that he could think of to help, and pulled out his phone to dial the number to Sulu's comm.

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Ianto smiled slightly, shaking his head, enjoying the feeling of Sulu's hands on his sides as he prepared to step away from him and remove the rest of his clothes himself. "No, that's... That's alright. Not. Not that I particularly mind the idea of you undressing me, but. I'm afraid that if you were to try, I might start getting ideas that I have absolutely no business thinking at the moment, really." He smiled, moving to put his hands on Sulu's arms, rubbing them gently. "Thank you, though," he said, with a smile and a blush.

Then he slowly extracted himself away from the other man, stepping back to place a hand on the sink to brace himself before bending over and quickly taking off his socks, taking a small moment of pleasure in the fact that he did the action fast enough not to make himself dizzy with the bending over. He tossed the socks on top of his t-shirt lying on the ground, before reaching for the waistband of his jogging pants, moving to untie the drawstring holding them on.

Sulu understood that pretty well, considering that they probably didn't need anything making this situation worse. Not that it was bad to begin with, it was just going to be difficult, sitting in a tub with Ianto pressed up to him, to not... Well. "Got it," he said with an embarrassed laugh. They weren't going to even get to the tub if Sulu kept waffling about how they were going to sit; Sulu knew that he should be wherever would be best to keep Ianto from passing out in the tub and drowning himself, and the best thing to do was just go for it.

Instead of wondering about the logistics and thinking about how Ianto might fall asleep against him, or about how they were soon going to be pressed together, Sulu just shook his head and pulled off his boots and then his socks, undoing the fly of his uniform pants before taking them and his underwear off. He didn't bother folding them up - he had at least two more pairs of pants back in his cabin, after all - and instead he just tossed them over to his shirt. It was cold, though, even for him, and so he quickly climbed into the tub, sinking down into the water with as little sloshing as was humanly possible.

Ianto did his best to keep his eyes away and concentrating on what he was doing rather than to watch Sulu in his undressing and getting into the tub. He got the ties to the waistband undone, and then made quick work of sliding out of both his jogging pants and underwear, gingerly stepping out of them and kicking them to the side. He blushed, standing there naked in the cold air of the bathroom as he glanced over to make sure that there were towels for them (he probably should have thought of that earlier, but luckily, there were), before making his way to the edge of the tub.

Carefully stepping over the edge of the opposite end of the tub, Ianto put a foot in and hissed at the feeling of it. He was sure the water was fine, it was just that his internal temperature was so off it felt just shy of way to hot for him. He could probably handle it, though, he decided, so he stepped in with the other foot and then, without hesitating longer than necessary, he carefully moved to sit down between Sulu's legs. He had every intention of relaxing back against the other man's chest and enjoying himself, but the heat of the water was such a shock that he had to stay sitting up for a moment, gripping the sides of the the tub. "Christ," he hissed out through clenched teeth, as his body struggled to acclimate itself to the temperature of the water.

Sulu winced at Ianto's response to the temperature. It was maybe a little warmer than what he imagined Ianto was used to, but he doubted it was too hot for a normal bath. Ianto, though, was very cold, and he wished he had thought that part through a bit more.

"Sorry," he said as Ianto settled down, shifting around to give Ianto as much room as possible. "Is it too hot? I can fix it, if you want." He put his hands on Ianto's shoulders, gently rubbing them to try and ease the tension there and to give him a chance to get used to the water's temperature.

Ianto shook his head, continuing to grit his teeth. "No, no. It's... It's fine. It's just. I mean, I just need to get used to it, s'all." He tipped his head back to look up at the ceiling. He knew that the water wasn't all that hot. It wasn't steaming enough for it to be as hot as he was perceiving it to be. It's just that to his body, freezing even after having spent the last half an hour or so sitting inside under blankets with Sulu, the obviously quite comfortable water temperature (if Sulu's reaction was anything to go on), was nigh on boiling.

He took one of his hands off the edge of the tub and put it on his opposite shoulder, moving to grip Sulu's hand, not being able to turn around and look at him to reassure him that everything was alright, so doing this instead. "It's... I don't suppose you've ever been outside in the snow for hours and then come inside to a room that's had the heat on all day, waiting for you, have you? Because it's... It's kind of like that." Not that it snowed much in Cardiff, but. That one time that the Master sent Torchwood on a wild goose chase through the Himalayas, it really stuck in his mind after the fact, enough to say that it did feel a bit like that, honestly.

Sulu nodded, continuing to rub Ianto's shoulder with one hand while he grasped Ianto's searching hand with the other. He knew what Ianto was talking about, the change from cold to hot; it wasn't a common thing in San Francisco, but it did occasionally happen to snow and when it did, sometimes just getting out of it could be more than a little jarring. He wished that he could help, but he knew also that there was simply nothing he could do to fix it.

"Yeah, I get it. If you can't adjust, though, let me know. Do you think you can stand it?" He knew that if Ianto couldn't handle the heat, he would be a bit more vocal about it, but at the same time Sulu had noticed a sort of hesitance in Ianto to mention anything being out of his comfort zone. It was a little disheartening, really, to see Ianto trying to pretend everything was all right some of the times he caught it. He just hoped this wouldn't turn into another one of those times.

Despite his obvious discomfort, Ianto smiled at Sulu's concern. "Yeah, don't worry. I'll be fine once I get used to it. I think that this means it's working, though. I mean. Working to warm me up. Like I'm thawing out or something ridiculous like that." That's what it felt like, at any rate. Like he was an ice cube thrown into a glass of water that'd been out in the sun, and his whole body was struggling to become the same temperature as the water, to dissolve like the ice cube would.

He sunk lower, trying to get more of his body under so that he could get used to the water faster, leaning back toward Sulu but not exactly relaxing against him yet, and letting out a shaky breath as he did so. "I guess this'll teach me to sit outside in November," he said, lightly, although it really was the truth. He hadn't really bothered to think of the consequences of sitting out there, he'd been more concerned with his mental well-being than his physical.

"Yeah," Sulu said softly, leaning forward to rest his chin on Ianto's shoulder for a moment, hands sliding to press into the muscles of his upper arms, "Maybe next time you could wear a jacket, at least. I'd like you a little less frostbitten next time we decide to take a bath together." His faint smile echoed in his tone and really, he couldn't see anything incredibly wrong with the situation at the moment. It was just so nice to be able to do something like this with Ianto, even if it was for a different reason than it might've been otherwise.

Ianto's skin above the water was still cold, almost shockingly cold against the heat of the water, and so he dipped his hands under, bringing palmfuls of water over Ianto's shoulders and collarbone. If he was here to help Ianto warm up, then he was going to do what he could to actually be useful.

Ianto would honestly prefer not to be quite so frostbitten the next time either. A jacket probably would have been a good idea. And maybe some shoes and some gloves as well. He hadn't been thinking straight, the only thing really on his mind was that he wanted to feel like there was someone else there, or just nearby, so he could reassure himself that he hadn't been alone, not really.

'Next time we decide to take a bath together', though? Ianto had to smile at those words. "You know," he said coyly. "If this actually ends up working, we might have to do this on a more regular basis until I fully recover from it all. If there is a next time, I can assure you that I'll try my hardest not to be as frozen, then."

At the water poured over the back of his neck, over his shoulder's and collarbone, Ianto was caught by surprise. He couldn't help sucking in a breath, nor could he suppress the involuntary tensing that he did at the heat of it. Hissing again, he reached out to grab the side of the tub, but Sulu's knee ended up being closer, so he grabbed that instead, shivering as his body struggled to warm up. "God, I really hope that this does work..."

Sulu paused his movements for a moment as Ianto's hand gripped his knee, taking an involuntary breath at the unintentionally intimate contact. "I hope it does too," he said after a moment, taking more palmfuls of water over Ianto's unsubmerged skin. It would be a shame if this didn't end up working and Ianto remained cold and unhappy throughout it; he didn't want Ianto's discomfort to be the only thing either of them got out of this.

"And I'd appreciate it," he added, matching Ianto's tone as best he could, "Trying to be warm before you get in. It'd save us both a lot of heartache. Especially you, really. After all, you're the one who has to get used to the water now."

"Yeah, well. I understand how you'd appreciate it too. You're the one who optionally sits with me when I'm doing my best impression of a human icicle, so." As Sulu continued to pour handfuls of water over the back of his neck and his shoulders, Ianto slowly started to feel better about the water temperature, relaxing back a little more against Sulu.

"Alright, hold on," he said, taking his hand from Sulu's knee to put on the other side of the tub, taking in a deep breath to steel himself before sinking down until he was chin deep in the water, staying like that for a moment, before letting himself back up to fully be able to relax back against Sulu's chest. He let out a little sound of relief as he started to feel warm for the first time in weeks. "God. That's better..."

Edited 2010-11-21 08:36 (UTC)

Sulu grinned as Ianto sunk down into the water, unable to resist finding the whole thing sort of adorable. Plus, mood or no mood, it didn't exactly hurt to have a more unhindered view of Ianto lying against him in the tub. He did, however, recognize the slight risk of Ianto going under, should he happen to fall asleep, and so he took a moment to shift a little lower himself, one arm slipping under one of Ianto's and hooking lightly around his stomach. If he happened to start drifting off, at the very least Sulu would be able to hold him up a bit better.

Once he was sure he was comfortable enough - as comfortable as he could be, given the situation - Sulu let his other arm out of the water, draping it along the edge of the tub. "I really hope it makes you feel better," he said, "Because I'm definitely not against us doing this again. It's surprisingly comfortable."

Ianto slowly removed his hands from the sides of the tub, moving both of them to rest on top of the arm that Sulu had across his stomach. He recognized what Sulu was doing, there, and he could really appreciate the thought. He'd rather not end up drowning in the bathtub, if he had a choice in the matter.

"Is it?" Ianto asked. "Comfortable that is? I mean. I certainly am, but. If you need me to move in any way, I will. There isn't any reason why we can't both be comfortable here, yeah?" He smiled, leaning his head back against Sulu's chest, letting his eyes fall shut as an overwhelming sense of relief swept over him. He couldn't help but take note of the fact that even with the two of the squeezed into one bathtub, he was probably the most comfortable he'd been at all since he'd been brought back in that moment.

"Mmm," he murmured, contentedly. "No, I really wouldn't be against making a habit of this. Not at all..."

"Very comfortable," Sulu said easily, tilting his head back against the rim of the tub behind him. "I haven't actually had a bath, alone or otherwise, in years, so this is sort of refreshing." And it really was; he wasn't quite used to the feeling of being completely submersed in water like this, but it was a good feeling. And Ianto was a comfortable weight against him, finally feeling truly familiar now that he was warm again.

He knew that was probably terrible of him, but it was the truth. He hadn't felt like Ianto was the same man he'd known before, not completely, not like before. He'd been cold and tired all the time, and there always seemed to be something he was holding back - but right now, in the bath with Sulu, Ianto felt and sounded like the man he knew. He smiled to himself and said, "It'd be good for stress relief, that's for sure."

Ianto nodded slightly, his hands moving to idly trace a pattern over Sulu's arm underneath them. "Yeah, I know what you mean. Don't really get to take baths all too often myself, either. They take too long, usually, and well. Usually I don't have the time. I... I have to say, I haven't spent so much time in my flat in a long while, and it's... It's definitely making me regret that fact now. There's just really not a lot for me to do around here, as it is, especially not at the moment."

"Except taking a bath," he concluded, not really sure where this train of thought was going, but running with it anyway, because he was comfortable and warm and safe and really very tired, come to think of it. Now that he was finally relaxed the whole way, he couldn't seem to keep his eyes open, having shut them almost instantly upon feeling better. "I'm pretty sure that it's impossible to do this all day, but. God. It's so much better... I honestly would if I could..."

"Yeah, not exactly possible," Sulu admitted with a small laugh, "Unless you develop gills or something like that." He could easily see how much more relaxed Ianto was, now that he was in the tub, and he could feel the warm water heating up his skin. It was nice, and since they'd only been in for a few minutes, there was no way they would feel waterlogged yet.

"We'll have to find something else to do here," he said, "Since Torchwood is sort of down for the count at the moment." He made it as clear as he could through his tone and his words that he wasn't implying that they would be stuck inside all the time like they were now, though. "Maybe you should... get a video game console, or something." He grinned at the very idea. "I mean so the only thing interesting here isn't your bathroom."

It didn't escape Ianto, the fact that Sulu was using the pronoun 'we'. It really wasn't even that big of a thing--logically, Sulu was going to help him out in any way that he could, so of course he'd be using 'we'. And yet. The fact that he had, it made Ianto smile softly, made him feel even warmer and happier than the water ever could, because for all that Sulu hadn't been there earlier, he'd wanted to be, he was planning ahead for what the two of them could do together here at this flat, in this time zone. Here in the bathtub, lying against Sulu's chest, lulled into a state of ultimate relaxation because he was finally warm again, Ianto let himself have a moment of contented optimism.

He chuckled. "I'm...really not the video game type. Unless it's puzzles, I suppose. 've always liked puzzles. Like...crosswords and the likes." His head lolled to the side a little, eyes still closed, but it was his half-hearted attempt to look at Sulu nonetheless. "Does that make me boring, then?"

"A little," Sulu admitted with a laugh, moving his free hand to stroke Ianto's hair, "But it's okay, you're exciting in plenty of other ways." After all, Sulu didn't know anyone else who dealt with things like Torchwood and managed to not become too full of themselves over it. He wasn't above admitting that Starfleet tended to give its members a bit of an ego; he knew full well that he showed it off from time to time. But Ianto...

"I want you to know," he said after a small breath of silence, "That I think you're one of the most amazing people I know." If not the most amazing. He moved his hand back to the rim of the tub, ducking a bit to kiss the back of Ianto's head. "And I really am sorry that I wasn't able to come down when you needed me. Promise not to use that as fuel for later guilt-trips, okay?"

Ianto sighed contentedly as Sulu ran a hand through his hair, relaxing further against the other man. He wasn't surprised that Sulu agreed with him, there. It was a bit boring. He was a bit boring. Wasn't much for video games, or ice cream, or going out at night. He didn't really know how to function without his job, not really. He'd become a different person since working for Torchwood, and now that there wasn't a Torchwood, that new person had never had to deal with the prospect of free time. Save for that one month after Lisa, but. He hadn't really been in the right mindset there. He'd spent it mostly cleaning and watching horrible telly and wondering where to go from there.

At Sulu's request, he shook his head, tightening his grip on Sulu's arm. "I know that it wasn't your fault. It wouldn't be fair of me to use it against you when you didn't have any choice in the matter." He shifted a little, so that his head wouldn't be lolling at quite as awkward an angle, before continuing. "Don't see how I'm all that amazing, though. Don't really feel amazing, especially now." With being cold and sick and tired all the time. Although this moment in time, propped up against Sulu in the water, finally warm. It was fabulous, as far as Ianto was concerned.

Sulu hesitated for a moment. He wanted nothing more than to tell Ianto everything he thought about him, how much he meant to him, but the words wouldn't come exactly right and he didn't want to say it all in person, when he could mess it up. So instead, he'd have to hold some of it back. Not all of it, though; not when Ianto was feeling as bad as he was. Sulu didn't want to let his self-esteem make him feel worse than he did already.

"You are amazing, though. I don't tell just anyone that, so I'm not just saying it. You sell yourself short without realizing how wrong you are." He pressed his cheek into Ianto's hair, trying to find some of the things he wanted to say in that moment. "You're brave," he said finally, "Incredibly brave, even when things are terrifying and going wrong. And you're smart, and don't pretend you don't know that." He laughed quietly and added, "I think I've already mentioned how attractive you are a couple of times now. So as much as you don't see how amazing you are, you should know that I do. Every day."

Ianto...wasn't sure that he'd ever been paid a compliment quite like the one Sulu had just given him. As Sulu leaned his cheek against Ianto's hair, Ianto opened his eyes to listen to the other man's words, staring across at the opposite wall because trying to look at the other man would've been useless anyway. And as Sulu finished, he...didn't know what to say. Was that really how he felt? ...of course it had to be. Like Sulu said, he wasn't the type to just go about telling people they were amazing. Sure, he probably went around thinking very highly of people, but. That Sulu thought of him like that.

Blaming the extra moisture in his eyes on the steam coming off the water, Ianto shut them again, shifting one of his hands to stroke the back of Sulu's arm that was secured around his waist. He wasn't sure what to say in response to that. What could he say? Sulu was one of the most important people in his life, especially now, and to know that he thought things like that... As much as Sulu wasn't one to pay people compliments, Ianto was worse, and in that moment, he could only hope that the other man understood how much Sulu meant to him as well. "...I'm all the better for having met you, you know," he said, quietly.

Sulu took a breath, feeling himself really relax against the tub when Ianto responded. He'd admittedly felt kind of stupid, rambling like that, but he had meant every word of it. Compliments weren't necessarily hard for him to give, but they weren't exactly the easiest thing to come up with in a way that didn't sound ridiculous or stupid. He sighed into Ianto's hair and then leaned his head back, smiling at nothing. This was what he had really missed, he thought.

"And you've been nothing but the best influence on me," he responded, moving his free hand once more to rub Ianto's shoulder. "I didn't even realize I could be the way I am now with anybody." He had never thought he could be as open or as, well, head over heels with someone, but it seemed like Ianto had caught him by surprise. "Good thing we're both good for each other, yeah?"

Ianto chuckled a little, relaxing back further against Sulu's chest as Sulu relaxed back against the tub, being lulled even more into a state of relaxation by Sulu's hand on his shoulder. "'s a good thing we are," Ianto agreed. "Don't think I'd be able to let you go, even if we weren't." And it was the truth. He couldn't imagine having to let go of Sulu, especially not now, when he was one of the only thing tethering Ianto to the ground rather than sinking into the abyss of all of the other problems he had going on right then.

He realized that the conversation was getting just a little too deep for him to be half asleep for, though. He wanted to be properly awake for something like this, so that he'd actually be saying all that he needed to say and not the first thing that popped through his mind at the time. So he continued, lightly, "For one thing, you're way too comfortable to lie with for me to ever give up. And you're capable of having a nice, innocent soak with me, which I definitely appreciate. Probably the only person I'd trust in this sort of situation," he said, with a slight smile.

"I'm too tired to try and instigate anything more complicated than this," Sulu responded, grateful for the change in tone. As much as he did enjoy having these kinds of conversations with Ianto, he was happy enough leaving that train for something a little less deep. "You wouldn't expect it, but sitting for four hours monitoring open space is exhausting. I would have preferred something more action-packed, if only for the adrenaline."

It hadn't helped, either, that he had been mentally berating himself for acting like an ass to Ianto, and for not being able to go to him when he needed him most. He was slowly letting himself be forgiven, though, now that they were soaking in the tub together and honestly feeling good again. Sulu figured Ianto deserved this, to be able to relax.

"You and me both," Ianto murmured, at Sulu's admittance that he was tired. "And I understand about the sitting being exhausting. Not just given the present situation, but. I mean, I've been on stakeouts. Or left behind to monitor the satellite feed and he likes in the Hub. It's hard, to be on your guard and not actually really doing anything for that long. Or...researching something. It's kind of the same there, as well." He chuckled, softly. "Why d'you think I started with coffee in the first place?" Besides the fact that Lisa liked it... "It gives you enough of a kick to get through that sort of thing."

Ianto could feel himself starting to drift again. His momentary deep conversation with Sulu had snapped him out of it a little, but now that he didn't really need to pay attention to what he was saying or what was being said to him, he let himself start to drift a little. "You should try having some on a shift, sometime. If they let you, that is." Ianto had no idea what it was like, piloting a spaceship. Or even being in the bridge. The one time he'd seen the place, the ship had been grounded, as it were.

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