torchwoodteaboy | [RL WITH SULU]

"You're never going to disappoint me," Sulu said immediately, nearly cutting off Ianto's sentence. He knew that might be a bit strong, and that Ianto could very well do something to disappoint him, but he couldn't imagine what. Even this, holding the truth from him for so long, wasn't disappointing. Not really, at least; he could see the logic behind it, however warped it might've been.

"I need you to do something for me," he said after a moment, keeping his eyes on Ianto's and thinking just how gorgeous the man was, even sick and exhausted and scared like he was now. "I need you to keep faith, okay? I don't care if you have to force yourself to hope for the best, but I need you to believe that this is going to turn out all right. I'm... I haven't been in good form, lately. I can't do it on my own, be optimistic for you, Jack, and myself. Can you try, for me?" He knew it was a long shot, but he needed Ianto to realize that he could be honest with himself, that he could realize things weren't better, but also know that they would be.

Ianto found it very unlikely that he'd never disappoint the other man. Sulu was very kind and very understanding, but Ianto couldn't believe that he'd be understanding of everything. He knew sometimes that his reasoning could get a little ridiculous. Especially when it was something concerning himself; he'd grown up with only himself to keep an eye out for himself, and he still wasn't used to the fact that well. That he had people like Sulu and Jack who cared for him a lot, and really wouldn't mind if he asked them to do things for him.

At Sulu's question, Ianto raised a hand and put it on the side of Sulu's face, cupping the corner of his jaw and running his thumb over the other man's cheek. He knew that his hand was freezing on Sulu's skin, and that it had to be a little uncomfortable for the other man, but. He was moving, he was touching him. He was still alive, and well. If Sulu was admitting that he, the king of optimism, couldn't hold it together on his own without Ianto's help, then Ianto was going to try and help. Sulu had done so much for him already, it the least he could do for Sulu, to try and keep a fresh mind about things. "I can try," he said, softly. "You know me. It... It won't be easy. But... For you, for Jack, for all of us... I can certainly try."

Despite how cold Ianto's skin was, Sulu didn't flinch away or even really register it. All he noticed was that Ianto was touching him for the first time since he'd gotten there, other than to hold Sulu's hand. He couldn't help but smile at it, tilting his head into his touch slightly.

"I know it's going to be hard," he said quietly, reaching out to rest his fingers under Ianto's jaw, feeling out his pulse. "But as long as you've got a pulse, there's going to be a way to help you. Remember that." He'd have time to be mad later, after all this was over. He could tell Ianto off after he felt better, for hiding all this from him and Jack. He was a hypocrite, he knew, because he preferred to do things on his own, but still. He'd be too relieved not to want to get a little frustrated at the other man. Right now, though, he was too focused on reassuring Ianto that things would work out to do anything other than feel for his pulse and smile at him, sad as it may have looked.

Indeed, Ianto did still have a pulse, and it beat strong and steady underneath Sulu's fingertips. Maybe it was a little slow, but that wasn't anything too horrible. It would explain why Ianto was having trouble keeping himself awake, though, why he was having trouble when he tried to move around. His blood pressure was supposed to speed up as he started to do more strenuous things, and it just...wasn't. Not anymore. Rather than just getting winded, like before, it made him pass out. Which wasn't good, really. But at least he still had a pulse.

"Yeah," he said, managing his own sad smile back at the other man, "I'll try. I really will." In trying to be optimistic, though, he was going to have to be completely honest with the other man. Lies and optimism didn't go well together, not even in practice. He shifted his thumb to stroke Sulu's cheek again. Luckily, his body still seemed to heat up at the contact of other warm things, like it was supposed to, and so his hand was not nearly as cold as it had been moments ago. It was still freezing, but. Better.

"You know," he said softly, "you're going to have to explain everything to Doctor McCoy, then. He's going to have to know at least the basics of everything..." He trailed off, although he hoped it was clear that...if they needed more answers, answers he hadn't given Sulu yet, he was prepared to give them. Even now...if Sulu had questions, he was going to answer them. Now that the secret was out, he was through with hiding. ...well. Hiding this particular issue, at least.

Sulu understood the implications of what Ianto was saying, and honestly, he was grateful for it. He wasn't even sure if he needed to know anything more than he already did, but... at this point, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to get an idea of how Ianto was feeling in general. He wouldn't mind knowing, and besides, he knew McCoy would ask about it.

So, he moved his hand up to Ianto's hair, brushing through it before pulling him closer to give him a slow kiss. "Yeah," he said after a moment of just enjoying the feeling of Ianto's lips on his. "He'll want to know how you've been feeling. Symptoms. He'll want to know how... this all happened, too - I'll have to send him to the videos." He frowned slightly, not wanting to even think about it, but unable not to. He hated the fact that, instead of just hearing how it happened, he had seen it in full video.

The videos... Ianto'd forgotten about the community posting the videos of their dealings with the 456. He hadn't wanted to look back into the archives of the community, having lived the moments himself. Even when the community had first posted them, he hadn't really watched them, had all but forgotten about them. But at Sulu's mentioning of them, especially in reference to explaining what happened to Doctor McCoy, Ianto suddenly wondered...if there had been a video of that day, too. It would have made sense. Everyone had found out he'd died somehow, and it hadn't been through some large announcement made by Jack or Sulu or Gwen, that was for sure.

"...is that how you knew, then?" Ianto asked, softly. He had known that there were cameras in the room with them and the 456, he'd been watching footage from those very cameras, but. The idea that one of them had hooked up to the community and recorded his death was...just plain eerie. As if the community had known. "You...you saw it in a video that was posted to the community? Is that how you found out?" Ianto needed to know if that was the case. And if it was...he needed to fix this. He needed to put things right again. He couldn't even imagine running across a video like that, himself, he just couldn't.

Sulu winced a little, not having realized that of course Ianto wouldn't know about the video. Of course he wouldn't have any idea... God, did he even know what had happened after? Had Jack told him - or Gwen? He himself barely even understood what had happened, it was impossible for him to tell Ianto how Jack had defeated the 456 with any real accuracy.

After a short moment, he nodded. "Yeah," he said quietly, "it... The community showed it. Showed everything." He shrugged slightly before ducking his head against Ianto's shoulder, closing his eyes because it really hadn't been the best way to learn about it. He'd watched it and there was nothing he could have done. It could have happened in real time, for all he knew... And all he could do was watch it.

This time it was Ianto's turn to bring a hand up to run through Sulu's hair, trying to do his best to comfort the other man. "I... I'm sorry," he said, quietly. "I'm so sorry that that's how things worked out. That...that that's how you found out. That...that you had to see that." No one had warned Sulu against checking the community that day, and for all Ianto knew, he could have been watching it real-time. He was extremely grateful that Sulu hadn't been there with him, to die by the hands of the 456, but. That probably hadn't made it any easier on the other man, to stumble on something like that.

He supposed that at least that way, Sulu had known what had happened, and hadn't been left wondering. That Jack hadn't had to tell him, because who knows if Jack could have. And if Sulu hadn't known, then there was a good chance that Jack would have disappeared, and Ianto himself wouldn't be there, today. Not without the pair of them working together to bring him back.

"...at least we have it for moments like this," he said, trying this seeing on the brighter side of things bit on for size. "Doctor McCoy will get a much better idea of what went on with a video than he could ever get with just me describing it. It... It's a valuable resource that not many other people are provided with." That still didn't mean that Ianto himself had any intention of ever seeing the video himself. He was there, he knew what had happened, and once was enough, he didn't need Jack's tears to break his heart all over again.

It wasn't much of a comfort, but Ianto's attempt at trying to make the best out of a bad situation made Sulu smile despite himself, turning his head to kiss Ianto's neck. "Yeah," he said after a brief silence, "You're right. At least some good will come out of it." He wrapped his arms around Ianto and hugged him tight. "Doesn't mean I want to think about it. I wish I could have done something..." But he knew there had been no way to stop it. Not without knowing what was coming. "I couldn't do anything, though. But I'm going to fix this. I can do something about it."

He pulled back after a moment, despite how much he loved Ianto's hand in his hair. "See?" he asked with a half-smile, not nearly as full or as bright as usual, but at least it was genuine. "It's not hard for you to be optimistic. It looks good on you, too."

Ianto had to smile a little back at Sulu as he complimented him, shaking his head at the other man. He knew that he looked pretty horrible--he felt pretty horrible in that moment. But he was trying to be optimistic, here. Trying to see the brighter side of things. So he wasn't going to answer with some sort of comment about how he looked atrocious, like he normally would, and instead he would turn it around to be something a bit more positive. They were going to need all the positive moments that they could get at that moment, really.

"Yes, well," he said, smiling at the other man as he cocked his head at him a little bit, "I did learn from one of the best. It's hard not to know at least a thing or two, after spending all that time with an obvious master." If he could still joke around, things couldn't be that bad, right? God, he really hoped so, he really hoped that that was a case. He took a breath in. So long as he still had a pulse, everything would be fine. He was just going to have to keep repeating that in his head, he supposed.

Sulu could see Ianto trying so hard to be as upbeat as he could be in their situation, and he was grateful beyond measure. Having Ianto being as positive as he could be in that moment helped Sulu to be positive himself, and he smiled, ducking his head to kiss Ianto once more.

He knew, though, that he was going to have to move soon. Ianto needed to get back to bed, and Sulu needed to make him something to eat; he could probably jump back to his cabin and get some of the purple tea he'd brewed before, and maybe that would help Ianto feel a little better about things. And... Ianto needed to talk to Jack, while Sulu needed to talk to McCoy. He could do that later, though, once Ianto was asleep. He didn't want to worry him about it, and he'd go ahead and arrange for a meeting as soon as possible. The sooner they got Ianto on the ship, the better, as far as Sulu was concerned.

"I think we should get you to bed," he said finally, voicing his thoughts. "Get you under the covers and all. I can make you some dinner - if you want, I can get some of that endorphin-rich tea I brought down when Jack was sick. It might help you feel better. And... You. You might want to talk to Jack. I'm going to see if I can't get you on the Enterprise as soon as possible, so... he might want to know what's going on before then."

Ianto nodded, remembering the tea from the last time they'd had it, what seemed like ages ago but really had to be a only couple of months back. "Yeah, I... All of that sounds good," he said. "I mean. I really haven't eaten anything today, since you left, or really have anything to drink. I..." he motioned to the stairs. "I didn't really think that it was a good idea to try going down on my own, so...I just kind of stayed put," he said, softly.

Getting back to bed and under the blankets sounded like a good idea as well. He was cold, sitting there in the hallway, only his t-shirt and sweatpants protecting him from the nippy late November air. Talking to Jack, though. "...I. I know that I have to talk to Jack. But, I... I don't know what to say. I mean, I don't think it's really anything to tell him over the phone or anything like that, but. I don't want you to leave. I... If I ask him over, will you stay?" Ianto asked. "It's just that...I'm not sure I could really be honest about this, without you around," he admitted, softly.

Sulu smiled gently at Ianto, understandingly. If he'd fallen down the stairs - Sulu couldn't even imagine it. "I can do all of that, then. I'm sure I can make something that'll fill you up without being too much." Which, inevitably, would be toast with jam, or something like that. Still, better than nothing.

At Ianto's comment about Jack and his question as to whether or not Sulu would stay, he nodded. "And yeah, of course I'll stay. So long as you want me to stay, I'll be here. Just remember that if you want me to leave," he added, not really believing it would happen but wanting to keep the option on the table for Ianto, "All you have to do is ask. But until then, we'll keep Jack calm together. I think I've gotten an idea of how to do it now, at least." He shifted to his knees, getting ready to stand. "Ready to get back to bed, then?"

Ianto nodded, grateful that Sulu was offering to keep him company, and to help be a peacekeeper for Jack, knowing that the other man was a bit unpredictable, especially when he got emotional, so it could go any number of ways and Ianto really didn't have the strength to get up and chase after him if Jack's first reaction turns out to be to run away. Ianto watched Sulu shifting in front of him, knowing that he was going to have to get up soon and kind of dreading it. He was cold on the floor, but it was still sort of comfortable, and even though the bed wasn't really that far away...it seemed pretty far to him. But he nodded nonetheless, because. Well, the other choice was just staying sitting there in the hallway, and he wasn't going to do that when there was a nice warm bed just in the other room.

"Yeah, I... I think so," he said, forcing himself to stay honest with the other man, and therefore not just outright agreeing that yes, he was fine, let's just do this. "I'm going to need a hand getting up, though," he said. "The ground is a lot further down than you might think it is..."

Sulu nodded again. He wasn't expecting Ianto to be able to stand on his own - he hadn't realized it, really, but he'd been helping Ianto up more and more in the last few days. It just hadn't occurred to him until now how much he'd been helping. Still, Ianto was being honest with him now, and Sulu wasn't going to reject him now that he was telling him truthfully that he was going to need help.

"Okay, then, I've got you." He pushed himself up to his feet, before bending to hold out his hands to help Ianto up. Truthfully, after the last time, he was a little worried about Ianto standing, but at least this time they'd be more prepared for it, one way or another. His hands found Ianto's and he pulled him up as slowly and as smoothly as he could, considering how hard it was to do either when you were trying to haul someone to their feet.

Ianto tried his hardest to help Sulu get him up, so it wasn't just the other man lifting him from a sitting position into a standing one. He had to feel at least somewhat like he was helping, even if it was only marginal. As soon as he was standing up, though, Ianto instantly regretted it. Not that he really wanted to stay sitting on the floor in the hallway, it's just that once he was standing again, those white pins of light started to swim through his vision once more, and the blood started rushing to his ears.

Still...he had to try. And the bed was only just right there. Surely he could make it, right? He nodded to Sulu after a few moments of standing there in the hallway, and they started slowly toward the bedroom, Ianto leaning heavily against the other man. They'd only gotten a few steps, just crossing the threshold into the bedroom, though, when that tunneling sensation started happening again, blackness instantly swooping over his vision, his breath speeding up and his heart racing to try and get the blood moving fast enough, but it was no use and it was all Ianto could do to say "...again. I..." before for the second time in less than half an hour, Ianto completely blacked out, leaning into Sulu as he lost consciousness completely.

Luckily, this time Sulu saw it coming, from the way Ianto leaned into him and the way his breath sped up suddenly. "Okay," he said, quickly, though it was useless to say much of anything as Ianto collapsed against him. He staggered slightly before regaining his footing and held Ianto up against him for a moment or two, just holding him close and feeling out his pulse.

Walking wasn't working anymore. Ianto couldn't take more than a few steps before he went down. Sulu knew that he was going to panic if he thought about that for too long, and so he carefully locked it away and instead shifted Ianto's weight in his arms, hooking an arm under his knees and lifting him up. Ianto was light - too light, really - and so Sulu had barely any trouble carrying him the last few steps to the bed. He settled him down before pulling the covers back, shifting the pillow under his head better before sitting down on the edge of the mattress, reaching out to touch Ianto's cheek. He was fine. He would be fine. They just needed to make a few calls.

A minute or so later, a bit longer than the last time he'd been out but only just, Ianto started to come around again, taking in a deep breath and making a low noise as he regained both consciousness and sensation. He noticed that he wasn't on the floor anymore, that he was lying down and wherever he was, he was comfortable and warmer than he had been before. And there was something warm against his cheek as well. After a moment of adjusting, just lying there breathing, the rushing sound in his ears slowly fading away, he opened his eyes and looked around, looked up at Sulu sitting on the edge of the mattress bedside him, the pressure on his cheek now recognizable as Sulu's hand.

Ianto's blue eyes saddened as he stared up at the other man, apologetically. "I'm sorry," he said, quietly. Yes, he knew he was supposed to be optimistic, but. He couldn't help but feel the need to apologize. That he was this bad, that he'd let things get this bad before he told the other man, that he was even in a situation such as this--for a lot of reasons, really. "How did...?" he asked trailing off, although it was obvious that he was wondering how he made it to the bed, when he only vaguely remembered coming in the door.

Sulu smiled sympathetically at Ianto, brushing his hand along Ianto's cheek and over his ear. He could tell that the other man was dismayed to find he'd passed out again, but at least Sulu had been prepared this time. Things would be fixed, soon enough, and then they could put this all behind them.

"It's okay," he said, "I had to do a little carrying, but I figured you wouldn't mind so long as you got to bed all right. When you're better, though, we're going to have to take you out to dinner and get your weight back up. You're a little light." Which was, honestly, a normal part of being sick. Sulu was worried, but at least it was something he could handle. They could both handle. "When you're feeling a little less faint, I'll head back to my cabin and get some tea for you. And... if you want, I'll bring you a phone. If you want to get a hold of Jack."

Ianto lowered his eyes, sighing. He really was going to have to talk to Jack. He couldn't just go disappearing on him, couldn't just head off to the Enterprise and not tell him why he was going, in case... In case he didn't come back. He owed Jack that much. He owed Sulu that much, especially if... If they made the trip, and it didn't work, and if...if he ended up dying up there, under McCoy's supervision, then. He didn't want Jack to blame Sulu for it. He didn't want Jack to have to find out that something had happened to him the way that Sulu had, when he was by himself and when there wasn't anything he could do about it.

"Yeah, alright," he said, after a moment. "I... I think I've got to ask him over, though, like I said. This... This really isn't a conversation that I can just drop on him over the phone, after all. And..." He raised his eyes up to look at Sulu again. "I want you to help me tell him. You...you know what he's like, when he's upset, yeah? I...I don't really have the energy to deal with that alone. Even with your magic healing tea," he said, with a small smile. The tea would make him feel a lot better, at least temporarily, after all. "I'm lucky that you've got such a useful hobby." And job for that matter, as well as the fact that he was from the future, but Ianto wasn't going to go into that. Not yet, at least.

"Yeah," Sulu said, because really, he did understand. He knew that things like this - lying to someone you cared for, even if it was to protect them from getting hurt - it wasn't something you could just work into a conversation. "I'll be here, of course. We'll make sure he doesn't try to storm off." Seriously. That reaction worked for some problems, and it probably did wonders when someone of a lower rank said something idiotic, but in situations like this? Sulu wasn't sure that running away would help, even if it was Jack's particular brand of running.

He took another moment or two to just let himself ease into the next topic mentally, and then said, "I want you to know, though. After we get this fixed, I'm... I'm not going to forget about this. We're going to need to talk about it, but I want to wait until after you're feeling better. Jack... won't have that kind of patience, and I'm not going to lay my own problems on top." He ran his thumb over Ianto's cheekbone. "But this isn't going to make me think any less of you, all right? So when I do get pissed off, later, at least remember that. Even though I think it was a stupid thing to do, I can sort of understand it." He smiled, realizing he was already sort of starting on Ianto and wanting to cut that off before it got too far. "For now, I'm only worried about helping you. Get some rest while I go make you some tea and... probably only toast, but still. Something to eat, at least. Do you want anything on it?"

Ianto lowered his eyes at Sulu's new topic. He knew that he wasn't going to get off so easily for this. That he shouldn't get off that easily for it, and that if...no. When they fixed this, he deserved all the scolding that Sulu had in store. He knew that he did. He knew that what he'd done was stupid and didn't really make sense, but he wasn't really making sense at the moment. It was hard to think, hard to function when he was tired all the time, sick all the time, and when Sulu and Jack had looked so relieved that he was back again...he hadn't wanted to ruin that. But he nodded. "...thank you," he said quietly. "For saying you're not going to join in on anything Jack might say. I...I understand how much you might want to..."

At the mention of food, his stomach did its best attempt at being hungry. It wasn't much, but it was enough to let Ianto know that yes, food would probably be a good thing. He didn't like this being waited on thing, but he didn't really have a choice, so he kept his eyes lowered as he responded. "There should still be some jam in the refrigerator, if it's not too much trouble..." he said, his voice still quiet.

Still smiling gently, Sulu leaned in to kiss Ianto softly, keeping it light and brief. "No trouble at all," he said, "I'll take care of it for you. And I won't join in with Jack, promise." He shook his head at the idea; he had a feeling Jack was going to either have plenty to say or nothing to say about Ianto's situation, and if it was the former, he would be making every effort to keep Ianto from having to suffer through too much.

He stood after a minute more of just being close to Ianto, looking around for a moment before deciding that it'd be easier to pop by his cabin before he made the toast. "I'm going to head back to my cabin first, and then I'll be downstairs. I'll let you know when I'm back, so you're not wondering, all right?"

Ianto nodded. He wouldn't be really all that bothered by the other man leaving him alone for the little while, which said something about exactly how he was feeling--too tired and weary to even be afraid of the dark anymore, because he just couldn't summon enough energy to be bothered. "Yeah, alright," he said, managing a little smile back to him before sighing.

"...could you give me the phone before you go, then?" he asked. "I left the mobile on the bureau." He motioned across the room to where his mobile sat on the top of the dresser, next to his collection of keys. He'd put it there the night before, not needing it, and then he hadn't thought to get it when he'd gotten up earlier in the day, not getting any calls so not really even thinking about needing it with in reach. "I... I'll give Jack a call to come over, while you're out. Who knows where he is, it might take him a while to get here, and..." He trailed off. He didn't really know how long he was going to be able to wait, if he needed to. Better just have Jack start heading over while Sulu was out and about, he supposed, so that they both wouldn't be stuck waiting after Sulu came back.

Sulu went to the dresser and picked up Ianto's mobile, weighing it in his hand as he moved back. Really, as far as 21st century technology went, they'd gotten pretty far by this year. He brought it to Ianto, handing it over as he said, "It'll be all right, don't worry. We'll... keep him from getting too upset. I'm not going to let him make this any worse for you right now than it already is." He leaned over and kissed Ianto's forehead. "I'll only be a few minutes," he said before stepping back, sticking his hand in his pocket and pressing his fingers to the portkey.

He was then in his cabin, and he took a moment to go to the sink in his bathroom, splashing some water on his face before covering it with his hands. Okay. He could do this, and more than that, he would have to do this. He knew that if Ianto didn't get better, if this was permanent - or if this was just the beginning of the inevitable all over again - he wouldn't be able to handle it. He'd never be able to look anyone in the eye again, for being so stupid as to think this could work...

But it had worked and it would continue to work. Sulu had to be sure of that. He had to. He couldn't do this if he wasn't one hundred percent sure of himself. So, he dried off his face and went to his desk, digging out the dry purple leaves he'd kept from the last time he'd tried this particular tea out. He couldn't think of anything else to bring and so he used the portkey once more, arriving back in the hall. Before he went up to check on Ianto, he set the water to boil on the stovetop and dug around for the strainer Ianto had around somewhere. That all settled, he went upstairs, standing in the doorway of the bedroom in case Ianto wanted some privacy or was still on the phone. "Back," he said.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject