Ianto Jones (
torchwoodteaboy) wrote2010-11-25 01:58 pm
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[RL WITH SULU]
Ianto lay in his bed upstairs, a book laying face down on his chest. He had been trying to read for the better part of an hour, but had found himself drifting more often than not, and on the third read-through of the same page he'd given up and just put it down. And he'd been drifting since then as well, not really awake enough to be doing anything other than just lying there, not really tired enough to really go to sleep. More and more each day, while no one else was around, he found himself in this sort of a state, a sort of standby mode that was disturbing in the fact that it didn't really bother him. That nothing really bothered him anymore, because he really couldn't dredge up enough energy to be bothered about it.
He brought a hand up to his face, running it across his eyes. He...he couldn't keep lying to himself like this. At first he thought it had simply been his imagination, that things were just progressing slowly, that was all. For all that he had worried that things wouldn't get better, he had hoped that they would, Sulu continuously helping him be optimistic in that fact, and so the fact that he was going backwards, now, getting worse, it... It was crushing. And he had no idea what he was going to do about it. No idea. The even worse fact of the matter was that he was slowly convincing himself that there was nothing to do about it. That he'd never get better. That it was too late, and he couldn't do anything about it now even if he tried. Which was the mindset he kept spiraling down and dragging himself out of as it approached that time when Sulu would be making his appearance for the night.
He brought a hand up to his face, running it across his eyes. He...he couldn't keep lying to himself like this. At first he thought it had simply been his imagination, that things were just progressing slowly, that was all. For all that he had worried that things wouldn't get better, he had hoped that they would, Sulu continuously helping him be optimistic in that fact, and so the fact that he was going backwards, now, getting worse, it... It was crushing. And he had no idea what he was going to do about it. No idea. The even worse fact of the matter was that he was slowly convincing himself that there was nothing to do about it. That he'd never get better. That it was too late, and he couldn't do anything about it now even if he tried. Which was the mindset he kept spiraling down and dragging himself out of as it approached that time when Sulu would be making his appearance for the night.
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Moving through the flat, Sulu brought them into the kitchen and found Ianto a seat at the table, helping him sit down before cracking his knuckles as he turned to the now whistling kettle, taking it off the burner. He paused, then turned to face Ianto with a serious expression on his face. "All you have to do is tell me and I'll step in," he reiterated from before, "I'm serious. If he starts shouting and losing his temper, I'm not going to let him do anything stupid." Like throw a chair, or break something, or worst of all, run.
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He sighed. "I've made him really angry before, a few times. I don't think that this'll get as bad as that..." He had a momentary flashback of Jack holding a gun to his head ('You execute her or I'll execute you both!'), but quickly brushed that away. "No," he said, shaking his head. "It definitely won't get as bad as that. But... I doubt it's going to be pretty. You've spent time with Jack. You must be at least partially aware of how...well. He's kind of like a force of nature. And sometimes that's good, and sometimes...well. It's not."
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Banishing that thought from his head, Sulu resumed making tea, pulling out three mugs (just in case). He was only going to fill two, because he could really use a little pick-me-up, but if Jack decided he wanted one, then that would help.
As he set the tea to steeping, he moved on to get out some bread for toast. "You said you wanted jam on it, right?" he asked, smiling at Ianto. If he didn't think too hard about the situation, it was almost completely mundane. Almost.
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Ianto nodded at Sulu's question, folding his hands together on his lap, feeling awkward to just sit there as Sulu did things for him. Up until that day, even though he was supposed to be resting, Ianto at least tried to help out, getting out plates or getting drinks or whatever. He knew better than to try now, though, but that didn't make sitting there any easier.
"Yeah," he said quietly, "there should be jam in the refrigerator. ...blackberry, if Jack remembered to get the right kind the last time I sent him out for groceries." Jack remembered funny things like that, though, so Ianto wasn't too worried. He wasn't much one for sentimental gestures, Jack, but it was nice that he remembered all of Ianto's favorite things, like his favorite flavor of jam, for example.
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Though, Sulu had to admit that, while it was a little awkward to be doing everything while Ianto sat there, he was grateful that the other was letting him. It made him feel productive, and the fact that Ianto wasn't complaining about it didn't hurt.
Once toaster was set up, the jam on the counter and a plate pulled down, Sulu poured out two cups of the purple tea, bringing them over to the table and setting one in front of Ianto before settling himself into a chair. "If you want, I can get the sugar. But it should help you feel better, one way or another."
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Now that Sulu knew the truth about how Ianto was feeling, plus the way that he'd found out, and the fact that they were sitting there quietly waiting for Jack to show up to have to spill he news all over again... It was a bit awkward. Ianto didn't really know what to do to make it better. It's not like he could just fix himself, or take back every time he'd withheld the truth to try and make Sulu or Jack feel better, and truth be told he'd probably do the same thing over if given the chance because that's just how he worked, but. He took in a breath, trying to think of something to say to fill the silence. "...do you think Doctor McCoy will mind seeing me?" he asked, the question being the first thing to come to his mind.
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The truth was that Sulu had no doubt McCoy would see Ianto. The man wouldn't turn down someone in need of medical attention - it just didn't strike Sulu as something the man would do. And besides, Sulu would plead his case the best way he could, whenever he got the chance to ask McCoy for help. He wasn't sure how he'd do it, but he'd know when the time came.
"Of course he will," Sulu said with a smile. "He's too good a doctor to turn down a patient. Besides, you mean enough to me that to not treat you would lead to my being emotionally compromised, and I'm the best helmsman in Starfleet. They can't afford to do that to me." He'd realized about halfway through that sentence that he might be letting himself be too heavy, too serious, and so he'd played it off as best he could.
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At the little bit of boasting that Sulu threw in there to change the tone of his statement, Ianto smiled at him little bit. "The best helmsman in Starfleet?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "You do realize you're going to have to prove that to me sometime, yeah? I've never gotten to see you fly, yet, and well. I should. Sometime. So you can prove that you're not just all talk there, yeah?" There. Mentioning future plans. That was optimistic, right? No way Sulu could become emotionally compromised so long as there was a future to talk about, right?
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The toast popped up and Sulu stood to get it, finding a knife to spread the jam. "And there's nobody else I'd trust myself to in a medical bay than Dr. McCoy, really. The only thing you should know about him is that he's... a little rough around the edges. He's secretly a nice guy, though, just don't let him know you know that." He brought the toast over to Ianto and set in front of him, settling back in his seat. Unfortunately, the novelty of making things the 21st century way was a little worn, but at least he had the decency to still look at least vaguely proud of himself for once again not burning the flat down.
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"I won't tell on you," Ianto said, taking a bite of his toast, not realizing just how hungry he was until he was eating and it tasted so much better than normal jam on toast usually tasted. "I've already almost got you in trouble with him once, I don't know if I can talk him out of it again this time." Well, that was a bit of an exaggeration. "When he first came to the community, I...well. Might have let slip that you'd warned me against getting on his bad side. I'm not sure if you heard about that or not. If you didn't, I guess that means my convincing worked, and if not...sorry about that."
"...I would like to go flying with you sometime, though," Ianto said, jumping conversation points again. "Although...no tricks. Or well. Nothing too daredevil. I get enough of that riding shotgun with Jack, and I will shriek like a girl, and no, you're not allowed to do it just to hear that, Lieutenant," he said, shooting Sulu a look over his toast.
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"I'm not making any promises," Sulu said with a grin, picking up his mug with both hands and taking a small drink to bolster his mood. "But I'll try not to do anything just because I would love to hear you shriek. It'd be entertaining, to say the least."
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The tea...wasn't bad. It might even be better than the last time that he had it, although that might just be because he needed it this time. Regardless, it did help calm him down a little. It definitely wasn't going to make him ready to talk to Jack, but. At least it'd help him calm down about it. "I'm not saying that you can't...show off, a little. I'm just. Try to warn me, if you decide to do anything fancy, yeah?"
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"You'll like it, though," he said, as though he'd been voicing his thoughts the whole time. "It's... It's different than the Enterprise, you know, a shuttlecraft. And I can actually do more with it. It's more like what the 21st century imagines space travel to be like." He wondered if he'd be able to get them far enough out to get a good look at the Enterprise in its natural habitat; as nice as it looked even when stuck on land, Sulu was a little too proud to let Ianto's memory of the ship contain anything but deep space and the distant stars it was bound for.
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"I would like that," he said, smiling softly. "I'd like that a lot. If..." He bit his lip, taking in a breath. "When all of this is over, when I'm better...you should take me flying. You know. Prove that you're not just all talk," he said, knowing that he wasn't just saying that he was good, or just saying that he'd take him, but trying to lighten the statement. Trying to keep things from getting too serious again too quickly, because he knew it was only a matter of time before Jack walked in that front door, and whatever nice mood they had here would be ruined.
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He paused for a moment, and then leaned back, moving his hands to pick up his mug once more and taking a sip. Finally, he added in as casual tone as possible, "Who knows. Maybe I'll be able to figure out a way to get us a hop to San Francisco. Mine, not yours. I mean, I'm sure there's a way to hide the fact that I'm not supposed to be within the solar system, much less on Earth itself." He'd remembered suggesting it once before, way back when it had been Jack who had been ill in the hospital, and now... now seemed like a good time to bring it up again. Because unlike last time, there wasn't a need to worry about Ianto dying. He'd already done that, and he'd be beating it completely soon enough.
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Ianto smiled, picking up his toast and taking another bite or two before responding. "I'd like that as well," he said. "Never been to America. It... It seems so big and far away. Especially that area of it. Plus..." He chuckled a little. "It'd be nice to be shown around," he said, fondly. "I don't really get to do a lot of exploring new places, in Cardiff. There's really only so much you see here before you've seen it all, and it starts to get...well. Just familiar, I guess. Too familiar, sometimes..."
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"We can probably go anywhere, you know," he said, smiling. "All we have to do is find a world-hopper. Merlin could help us, you know? And we could go anywhere you wanted in the world, really. In both our universes, really."
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Really, they were going to have to wait until he was better, anyway, and surely the novelty would wear off once he did get better and started living a relatively normal life again. Still, though... "I will have a lot of free time, now, though. Now that Torchwood...is on hiatus," he said, struggling to find the right words before settling on those. "So...there'll be a bit more free time to do things like that, I guess," he said, with a shrug. "Still not used to the idea that I could just take a day trip to anywhere I wanted and be able to come back and sleep in my own bed at night, though. It's easy to forget that that's actually possible, yeah?"
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It was true, too; Sulu honestly didn't mind doing the most mundane things, so long as Ianto was with him. He hadn't been lying when he had told Ianto that he would be happy with just about any kind of date they could come up with, even if it involved nothing more than television and soup. But still - the idea of being able to go with Ianto to other places, places he wanted to go that weren't Cardiff... It would be nice, he couldn't deny. Then again, maybe it was just the idea of being able to do those things that made them all so exciting.
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"I'm not sure that Greece is really the first place that I'd think of going, anyway. Too much sunlight for a Welshman like me," he said, smiling slightly. "I'd probably crisp in the heat, or something. But...yeah. Starting out small, like with trips out to the market, trips into town, that sounds good to me. I promised you a movie, after all..." Hopefully, someday, he'd be able to get to one and stay awake through the whole thing enough to enjoy being there with someone else. It was amazing how much his goals and interests changed, as soon as he couldn't do anything anymore, after all. As soon as he'd found someone that didn't mind the mundane, who might actually make it enjoyable and enjoy it himself as well...
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Despite how silly it was to act that way, it was still nice to pretend. "But still, you're right. I think we can settle on a movie for now, and leave all the globetrotting for later on."
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"So long as we don't go camping in the Beacons anytime soon, I'll be more than willing to do just about anything. Although...yeah. Starting out slow, with a movie or something, that'd probably be best. Quiet night in, and all." He shook his head, smiling. "You know, I'm pretty sure that there was a time when I thought that things like that were boring. It's different when I've got you around, though," he said, absentmindedly. "It seems more exciting, in the fact that it's all new to you."
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He knew vaguely of Ianto's experiences when it came to camping and so he nodded, grinning a bit. He actually enjoyed camping; that outdoorsy sort of stuff was something he could do pretty well. He ducked his head a little at Ianto's comment, though, smiling at it. "Yeah, well... movies and home cooked meals and supermarkets aren't really that unfamiliar to me - they're not the same, here, but... I've missed it. Starfleet isn't really big on mundane tasks, after all. And..." And, after thinking Ianto wouldn't be around for it to happen again... He could still feel that hollow space in his ribs, even now when they were trying to restore normalcy, and it made him want those mundane things all the more.
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"I'd imagine that the Enterprise didn't frequent local grocery's at all, no," he said, with a smile. And with all those mouths to feed, the replicator seemed like the best and easiest option to do that. Still. Nothing beat something cooked specifically for you. Ianto wasn't the best of cook's, but he'd lived alone enough to know his way around, and made a mental note to cook for Sulu, the next time he could. Ianto was definitely interested in the fact that Sulu missed all of those little things, though. He seemed to love his job, love the excitement, when it was exciting, the living the moment to it's fullest and all that.
"And...?" Ianto prompted, as Sulu trailed off, not really following Sulu's train of thought. He hadn't been the one to be left behind this time, after all. He knew what it was like to feel that way, had done so on multiple occasions, but it wasn't fresh in his mind at that moment, so he didn't automatically make the jump like he might have done.
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But he couldn't do that. Unlike Ianto's health, Sulu was sure that if he just ignored it, it would go away. It had to, because there was no reason for him to keep feeling like part of his world had disappeared. So he just shook his head and smiled quietly. "And I'll have you to do them with," he said instead. "So it'll be that much more worth it."
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